Chapter 8: The Big Pit on the Imperial Court

The palace gate slowly opened, and the Imperial Guards, all in bright armor, stood on both sides, leaving the Zhuque Gate facing Zhuque Street. The group of civil officials and military officials slowly entered, everyone solemn and dignified, holding the official seal, and feeling anxious about the situation. In his heart, Yun Ye thought to himself, “If I can build the business of Yigao, will I be able to do it?”

Cheng Yaojin ignored the rules and dragged Yun Ye behind him. After a few steps, he suddenly turned around and said, “Xiao Ye, why are you treating Li Ji like this?”

I expected this question from Uncle Cheng. Yun Ye smiled and said, “If Uncle Cheng beats me, I will be happy to take it. If Uncle Niu beats me, I will be calm. If Uncle Qin beats me, I will be willing to accept the punishment. If Uncle Yuchi beats me, I will run away. As for Uncle Li, if he beats me, Yun Ye may fight back.”

Lao Cheng slapped Yun Ye, smiled, and said nothing. Lao Niu came out of nowhere, glaring at Yun Ye and pointing at the place where Yun Ye was supposed to be standing.

Seeing the old ox naturally bend his back, hunch his shoulders, and shrink his neck, he obediently stood in line. The strange appearance caused the courtiers to burst into laughter, and the guards who maintained order looked at Yun Ye angrily. Seeing that he was just a young boy, they let him go lightly.

Fang Xianling, the leader of the team, was originally not happy, but when he learned that the person who was causing trouble was a young man, he just laughed it off as youthful ignorance.

Yun Ye felt the benefits of being young. If you say or do something wrong, as long as it is not a matter of principle, you can always find a reason to forgive. You have to give young people a chance to correct their mistakes, Yun Ye thought shamelessly.

The Taiji Palace stands on top of 36 stone steps. Standing at the bottom of the steps, you can only see the upturned eaves. The auspicious beasts on the eaves, the sun and the moon, look majestic in the dim light of dawn.

The imperial power is supreme, and the eaves that almost pierce the clear sky undoubtedly show the nobility of the imperial family. This is not a good conductor, and it is said that it was only struck by lightning a few times in the summer. It is the heavens that are dissatisfied with the actions of Emperor Li Er, and they are only lightly teaching him a lesson. This is what the people say, and it is also possible that the heavens are advising Emperor Li Er not to do too much, and that his father should not kill him.

Of course, this is the evil meaning in Yun Ye’s heart, and he can’t say it. If he does, his head will fall. An emperor who is angry and ashamed will not care whether you have talent, even if you are a genius, a strange talent, or a great talent. If you dare to say this, you will all be chopped into firewood.

The eunuch, a deformed product of the imperial family that has accompanied China for thousands of years, stood on a high platform and shouted at the top of his lungs: “The grand imperial audience has begun. All ministers and officials are to appear before the emperor.” This sentence alone made Yun Ye admire him. His shrill voice shouted out a sense of fear and righteousness. Talented people, you have to get close to them in the future.

The empty hall was suddenly filled with people, some looking for a seat, some stealing cushions from others, some exchanging greetings and asking to be seated, some claiming to be teetotalers when they were actually drunk, and one shameless person even let out a stinky fart, causing everyone around to fan their noses, wondering if it was them. I guess the farting guy was among the people fanning their noses.

On normal days, there are only a hundred or so people attending the morning assembly, but when more than two thousand people are crammed into the hall, it’s no wonder that the crowd is in chaos. The line of people extends outside the hall, and I imagine Cheng Chumo and the others are crouching in the cold wind, shivering.

Yun Ye gloated, fortunately, I am a marquis, so I can sit in the main hall. The surrounding area is full of uncles and grandfathers over the age of 40, and there are even a few grandfathers looking for the stolen cushions.

Yun Ye found a good position, leaning against a large wooden pillar with a coiled dragon, with two cushions on the ground and one on his back. He heard that the grand pilgrimage would not end for four or five hours, so he would rest now and cook a pig for the whole family that night. He specifically told the housekeeper aunt to choose a pig weighing 150 to 60 catties, kill it, skin it, and not throw away the entrails. The intestines and stomach were rubbed with flour and cleaned up for me to do when I returned.

Li Er came out wearing a crown with a hole in the middle, a robe with a dragon pattern, and a pearl tassel hanging down that was just the right height to meet the eye. Under the light of ninety-nine giant butter candles, he was radiant, like a pop star who throws her eyes around in a way that makes people dizzy and unable to see clearly what she looks like. This is probably the greatest effect of the crown with a hole in the middle.

The ministers shouted “Long live the emperor!” three times, and Li Er accepted everyone’s kneeling worship, declaring that they could dispense with the formalities. Everyone knelt behind the desk, bowed their heads, and made a solemn gesture. Yun Ye didn’t want to be too out of line, and he also fell into a state of deep thought. A pair of long legs stretched far from the desk.

First, Fang Xuanling praised the great achievements of the Tang Dynasty in the past year, how many rebellions had been suppressed, how many traitors had been defeated, how much grain had been seized, how much weaponry and women had been seized, and how small the locust plague had been in the interior of the country, but it did not affect grain production, although it was lower than last year, but it was still acceptable in a year of famine. The market is booming, taxes are increasing, the population is growing steadily, etc. In short, the past year of the Tang Dynasty was a year of victory and glory, entirely because of the wise emperor Li Er, who led the people of the world to achieve such results.

Then Du Ruxu stepped forward, and then Fang Xianling continued to flatter the emperor. The past year was a peaceful year for the Tang Dynasty. Although there was a small uprising by the Turks, the wise emperor used a few words to calm the Turks down, setting an example of how the weak can defeat the strong. rode out of Chang’an and met with the Turkic leader at the Wei River. Through diplomatic efforts, they laid the most solid foundation for the Tang Dynasty to move from victory to victory. Thanks to His Majesty Li Er, we are growing vigorously under the glorious light of His Majesty Li Er. His Majesty Li Er’s great achievements will surely last forever.

Du Ruxi’s report inspired every official of the Tang Dynasty. Just as he was about to take advantage of the warm atmosphere and brag a little more, he was hit with a thunderbolt.

The ancient mirror of the thousand generations, Wei Zheng, quit. Oh, so the affairs of the Great Tang are all done by Your Majesty alone? We have nothing to do with it? We are all wine-sacks and rice-bags, the soldiers are all soft-legged shrimps, the people are all lazybones, and the world is at peace? What a joke! What about the border people taken away by the Turks? What about the young Liang just wiped out by Changsun Wuji? Are the Qiang people killed by Cheng Yaojin made of mud and clay? Your Majesty has done a lot of work, but not all of it. As the head of the civil service, Fang Xuanling and Du Ruxi have compromised their personal integrity, using the achievements of the whole world to please your Majesty’s whims.

The rat in the soup pot, the booger in the bread, is talking about Wei Zheng. Such a degree of flattery can be considered a breach of private ethics? You old man, you haven’t heard of a real government report. If you hear about the government report of a later generation, won’t you start chopping people up? And then burst all over and die?

The grand pilgrimage at the end of the second year of the Zhenguan period was the first grand pilgrimage presided over by His Majesty Li Er as an emperor. It was somewhat similar to the People’s Congress in later times, where the government had to report on its achievements in the past year and look forward to the prospects for the coming year. Of course, the judge was the emperor, and the judge in later times was the people. Yun Ye, who had been a member of the people for more than 30 years, naturally knew that the rights of the people were represented by a small number of people, and there was no difference from the current state.

The future is bright, the road is winding, and victory will ultimately be ours.

In the past 1,400 years, the evolution of government reports has only changed from classical Chinese to vernacular Chinese, which is difficult to understand, convoluted, and the art of speaking is vividly portrayed. It is even better than crosstalk.

Yun Ye yawned, and the reports of the six main officials were like the notes of a lullaby, making him sleepy. His heart had long been numb. The government, a tool of violent rule, had accompanied us since the beginning of human classes, and what had not changed was its rigidity, coldness, stubbornness, and bickering. He had no desire to listen to their nonsense. The major policies of the court had long been established by a few so-called elites, and now they were all talking nonsense.

A glance at him, and the admiration in my heart suddenly became uncontrollable, like the Yellow River flooding. The uncle next to him, I can’t tell if he’s an uncle or an uncle, with three long beards hanging down his chest, shaking his head and nodding approvingly, as if the boring report of the Minister of Works Wen Daya is a fragrant and wonderful piece of writing that makes people feel like drinking nectar and can’t bear to let go. If he doesn’t snore or drool, Yun Ye will feel ashamed of his ignorance and deeply regret his rudeness. Since this uncle was sleeping, Yun Ye felt that it was really unworthy for him to take a nap, and the little witch was inferior to the great witch.

The sun rose higher and higher from the entrance of the hall, and the light, filtering through the thin mist, softly filled the entire Taiji Palace. The voice of Dai Zhou, the Da Lisi, grew lower and lower, and he could no longer say the four words “peace in the world.”

He simply threw away the written memorial: “Since I took office as the new head of the Da Lisi in the first year of the Zhenguan reign, the people’s customs have become more simple and honest, and there have been fewer incidents of people fighting bravely. The Zhenguan New Deal has won the hearts of the people. However, the criminals who are still in prison are mostly from the Xiwang family. They are not evil on weekdays, and some of them are great Confucian scholars. Your Majesty’s benevolence shines far and wide. Why not spread the Emperor’s mercy to every corner of our great Tang dynasty? Now that the world is at peace, we can no longer open up the killing fields and let the blood of the innocent tarnish the holy court of our great Tang dynasty. Today, I am in the main hall of the Taiji Palace, under the light of the rising sun, and I will call out three times in accordance with the law: Your Majesty, think twice.

As soon as these words were spoken, it was like a bomb thrown into the toilet, causing countless disputes. There were those who agreed, those who rebuked, those who were confused, and those who watched.

His Majesty Li Er obviously shook a bit. He estimated that Li Jiancheng, the Prince of Xixi, was still a thorn in his heart. He was not sure how he would react when his wound was opened today at the grand imperial audience. Yun Ye widened his eyes and watched Li Er’s reaction.

He was very disappointed that Dai Zhu was not dragged away to be beheaded, so there was no scene of the severed head being placed on a plate for inspection. Yun Ye was very disappointed. Li Er released the old, the weak, the women and children, and the close family servants. The main character did not let go of one, and the Da Lisi must be interrogated strictly. All doubts must be cleared up. Li Er was not ordinary about the legitimacy of his rule.

When the dark clouds have dispersed, the court is once again a harmonious scene of “you are fine, I am fine, everyone is fine.” The appearance of the fat and long-nosed Zhangsun Wuji immediately brightens the scene. He is fat, so he is festive. The annihilation of the young prince of Changle is a great achievement for the country, and he is given 300 additional households, the title of General of the Cavalry, and the title of Marquis of Qi.

Cheng Yaojin was full of anger. He was only given the title of Marquis of the State of Lu, with an additional 100 households, and he didn’t even get to hold the ceremonial sword. That’s fine, but listen, the State of Qi is a thousand-carriage state, and the State of Lu? Where is that? I’ve never heard of it. It might be a small village in a mountain valley that calls itself a bandit king. I’m a bandit, and you can’t give me a bandit village as my fiefdom. That’s grossly biased. Old Cheng demands fair treatment.

Li Er was almost driven to death by anger. Who said that the state of Lu was a bandit village? You are ignorant. Lu is the ancient name of your hometown. What is there to be dissatisfied with in your fiefdom in your hometown?

Lao Cheng was satisfied with a big smile. It turned out that the Kingdom of Lu was in the city of Jeju.

Yun Ye was full of gratitude. Lao Cheng knew where Lu was, and was secretly reminding Li Er not to mistreat Yun Ye, who would be rewarded later.

Niu Jindan, a high-ranking official, was neither happy nor angry, and his face was indifferent.

“Lantian County Lord Yun Ye is here to see His Majesty.” Hearing his name, he hurriedly stepped forward and bowed to the emperor.

Li Er stared at Yun Ye, his eyes seemed to have hooks, still iron, making Yun Ye uncomfortable.

“You have been taught by a strange person since you were young. The salt-making technique you developed in Longyou has relieved the suffering of my people. This is one. You have contributed the military training technique, and two hundred healthy men have become a strong army. This is two. You have improved the iron-smelting technique, and one hundred pounds of steel are produced every day. This is three. You have contributed to the world with the potato, which is a miracle of the ages. Your contribution is great, and your reward is great. In this court, I reward those who have done good deeds and punish those who have done bad deeds. I am grateful to you for your contribution. I will reward you for your contribution and punish you for your misdeeds. You tell me, what are your requests? I will fulfill them.

“You’re my sister!” Yun Ye cursed in his heart. If you want to reward me, you should give it to me quickly. If you want me to say it, I want your throne. You should give it to me! I know what I want? Obviously, they won’t give me a chance to speak. The whole Tang Dynasty is just fucking with me. But it’s also a famous saying that you should pick the soft ones.

“Your servant has escaped death in the wilderness, and it is a great blessing to have been saved by the soldiers of the Great Tang. I feel shameless to have been given such a gift of salt-making skills, and I am even more grateful to Your Majesty for allowing me to serve as the male minister of the Ping’an County. Forging the body and smelting iron are my duties, and I dare not take credit for this from Your Majesty. The potatoes were found by Hai Ke from the vast sea, and I dare not take credit for them. Please Your Majesty, be clear about this.”

You want me to open my mouth, but I won’t. I’m not worth a penny. You are a wise ruler of all ages. I don’t believe you won’t give me money.

“Where is the sea traveler now? Such a righteous man must be rewarded.” Li Er kept up the chase.

“He is a friend of my master. I serve him as a junior and dare not ask his name. My master often refers to him as the bearded guest.”

The three heroes of the wind and dust are not sure if it is true or not. Anyway, two of the three heroes are in your court. You can ask them.

Sure enough, Li Jing stepped out of line and grabbed Yun Ye and asked, “What does he look like?”

“Ugly, with a full beard, dark, very dark, strong, good with a long sword, speaks a foreign language, wants to teach me how to use a sword, but not if he’s ugly.” Yun Ye decided to fool the god of war.

“Plop.” Li Jing kicked Yun Ye away with one kick, and then turned around and knelt in front of Li Er, crying bitterly.

Yin Ye took a long time to get up from the ground, and Lao Cheng helped him angrily stare at Li Jing.