The Ingenious Wit of Dongfang Shuo
Dongfang Shuo, whose courtesy name was Manqian, hailed from the region of Pingyuan in the township of Yanci. When Emperor Wu of Han first ascended the throne, he issued a call for talented and virtuous scholars from across the empire, offering them high-ranking positions. This led to many scholars submitting their writings to the emperor, often numbering in the thousands. However, those deemed unworthy were promptly dismissed.
Dongfang Shuo, upon arriving in the capital, submitted a letter stating:
“I, Shuo, lost my parents at a young age and was raised by my elder brother and sister-in-law. At thirteen, I studied calligraphy, mastering literature and history by the age of sixteen. By nineteen, I had learned the art of war from Sun Tzu and Wu Qi, memorizing their strategies, and thus I had committed 440,000 words to memory. My physical attributes and virtues also matched those of legendary heroes, making me an ideal candidate for a high-ranking position. Humbly, I submit my application.”
Impressed by his boldness, the emperor appointed him to wait for further assignments but provided only a modest stipend. Frustrated by the delay, Dongfang Shuo played a trick on the imperial dwarf attendants, causing them to believe they would be executed. This led to an audience with the emperor, where Shuo cleverly explained his plight, comparing his meager provisions to those of the dwarfs. Amused, the emperor ordered Shuo to be brought closer to him.
Dongfang Shuo’s wit and wisdom were further demonstrated in various contests and riddles posed by the emperor. In one instance, he accurately identified a creature under a cover, earning the emperor’s praise and a reward. His sharp intellect was often challenged by the emperor’s favorites, yet Shuo always prevailed, solidifying his place in the court.
During a famine, when food was scarce, Shuo took the bold step of slicing meat from an imperial gift before it was officially distributed, reasoning that he needed to return home early. Although initially reprimanded, Shuo’s humorous self-deprecation amused the emperor, who rewarded him with additional provisions.
Dongfang Shuo’s counsel extended beyond mere wit. He offered serious advice on state matters, often criticizing extravagant projects that burdened the people. For instance, when the emperor planned an expansive hunting ground, Shuo warned against the misuse of fertile lands and the suffering it would cause the farmers. His arguments were well-reasoned, citing historical precedents of rulers who lost their realms due to similar excesses. This candid advice led to his promotion and a significant reward.
In courtly matters, Shuo was also known for his directness. When the emperor’s favorite consort’s son committed murder, Shuo praised the emperor’s adherence to the law despite his personal grief. This act of upholding justice over familial bonds garnered widespread respect.
However, Dongfang Shuo’s straightforwardness sometimes led to his demotion. Once, he was caught urinating in the imperial palace while drunk and was stripped of his titles. Yet, his talent could not be overlooked, and he was soon reinstated with honors.
One notable story involves his involvement with Princess Dou, the emperor’s aunt. Her lover, Dong Yan, feared for his safety due to their illicit relationship. Shuo advised him to present the emperor with a lavish gift, which would secure his favor and ensure his protection. This strategy succeeded, demonstrating Shuo’s keen understanding of court dynamics and human nature.
Dongfang Shuo’s legacy is a blend of humor, wisdom, and boldness. He navigated the complexities of court life with a combination of sharp intellect and unyielding honesty. His ability to balance wit with sincere advice made him a trusted advisor and a cherished figure in the Han dynasty’s history. His life and deeds continue to be a testament to the power of intellect and the importance of integrity in the service of one’s country.