“Essence of Ritual Etiquette in Ancient China”

In the Book of Rites (《曲礼》), it is emphasized that one must always maintain respect, exhibit a demeanor of thoughtful consideration, and be composed in speech. To achieve tranquility among the people, it is vital to avoid excesses in pride, desires, ambitions, and pleasures. A sage should treat others with a combination of affection and reverence, recognizing both their faults and virtues. True affection involves understanding the wrongs of a person, while true disdain involves recognizing their good qualities. One must accumulate virtues to be able to disperse them, maintaining calmness and adaptability.

When faced with wealth, one should not act greedily; when confronted with difficulties, one should not seek to escape recklessly. It is essential to avoid the pursuit of victory and the desire for abundance. When in doubt, refrain from pressing for answers, and maintain integrity without pretense. In one’s demeanor, one should sit with the stillness of a corpse and stand with the solemnity of a ritual.

Rituals serve to clarify relationships, resolve ambiguities, distinguish between similarities and differences, and delineate right from wrong. Rituals do not gossip about others or demand unnecessary expenditure. They are not excessive, nor do they insult or seek undue familiarity. To practice good conduct is to embody the essence of ritual propriety.

Rituals are about learning from others rather than instructing them, and they are about receiving teachings rather than merely imparting them. Morality, benevolence, and righteousness are nurtured through rituals, which also shape societal norms and regulations. For matters of dispute and legal judgment, rituals provide the framework for resolution. Governance, military affairs, and official duties are conducted with adherence to ritual propriety, ensuring respect and authority.

In matters of worship, sacrifice, and offerings, rituals guide sincerity and solemnity. Thus, a gentleman should be respectful, frugal, and modest, demonstrating clarity in ritual conduct. Even though a parrot may speak, it remains a bird; and an ape may speak, it remains a beast. If a person today behaves without proper ritual decorum, they, too, are like a beast. Only through rituals can people distinguish themselves from animals.

The highest value is placed on virtue, followed by the obligation to repay favors. Rituals emphasize reciprocal courtesy; failing to reciprocate is improper, as is failing to offer a return for hospitality. Rituals teach that a person who practices proper decorum will be secure, while one who neglects these practices is in danger. Hence, the study of ritual is indispensable.

Rituals are about showing respect from a lower to a higher status. Even a lowly vendor is given respect, and one should not be arrogant or debauched, whether wealthy or poor. A person of integrity will remain steadfast in rituals regardless of their social standing.

Life stages are marked by specific rituals: at ten years, one learns; at twenty, one attains maturity and adulthood; at thirty, one establishes a family; at forty, one engages in official duties; at fifty, one governs; at sixty, one guides others; at seventy, one passes on their knowledge; and at eighty or ninety, one is venerable. At seventy, a person may be honored with formal titles and roles, including retirement and ceremonial duties. Those who reach a hundred years are regarded with respect and referred to with honorifics.

Rituals prescribe appropriate behavior for different circumstances: for winter and summer, at dusk and dawn, and in the presence of strangers. For children, there are no extravagant displays. Respectful children do not demand attention, and proper conduct involves avoiding conflicts and maintaining modesty in public.

Rituals prescribe specific behaviors for eating and interacting with guests. At meals, proper placement of food and utensils is observed. Guests are treated with courtesy and respect, and food should not be wasted or misused. Rituals guide proper behavior during feasts and banquets, ensuring that actions such as eating and drinking are conducted with decorum.

In public and private settings, adherence to rituals ensures that one’s behavior reflects respect and propriety. Rituals guide how to address and treat others, including respect for elders, guests, and authorities. The proper way to enter and exit rooms, as well as to interact with different people, is specified to maintain order and respect.

In offering gifts and sacrifices, rituals dictate the manner of presentation and the type of offerings. Whether it is gifts of food, animals, or valuables, the proper way to present and handle these items is outlined to ensure respect and appropriateness.

In summary, the Book of Rites provides comprehensive guidelines on maintaining proper conduct, from everyday interactions to ceremonial practices. It underscores the importance of respect, modesty, and propriety in all aspects of life, guiding individuals to act with integrity and honor in accordance with established rituals.