Chapter 10: Choice and consequence

I put down the comb, stood behind Ru Xue with my arms folded, and looked at the sunset outside the window with her. I let her hair be blown by the breeze and gently caressed my face. I said, “Can’t imagine? What did you imagine me to be like?”

“Well, I thought that since you were my brother, you should look like Xiangxin, gentle, refined, and gentle. I never thought that when I saw you, you would look like a young man who is impulsive, foolish, and sometimes not foolish. A bit of a rascal, a bit of a bachelor, and a bit of a gambler.” At this point, Ru Xue suddenly laughed out loud.

I also laughed foolishly, but then I felt that it was not right, so I asked, “How did I become a gambler?” I don’t remember having a gambling problem.

“You’re a gambler. When you reach a seemingly hopeless situation, you don’t choose the safe way out, but instead choose to gamble on a dangerous way to get a better situation,” Ru Xue said.

I knew she was talking about the time I took her and Huigen out of the Black Rock Miao Village on an adventure, and I knew she was talking about the time I insisted on taking Huigen with me. I didn’t think about it until she mentioned it, but now I really think I’m a gambler.

Thinking about this, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, and then asked, “Then what? Were you disappointed? Or do you still like the type of man that Chengxin is?”

Ru Xue was silent for a long time before she said, “I don’t like the kind of person that Cheng Xin is. Can I control who I like? If I can, I really want to, really want to not like him.”

“I’m afraid that liking can’t be controlled by oneself. So, I’m here.” I looked out the window at the setting sun, which had dyed the clouds in the sky red. The sun was finally about to set, and I sighed.

“Is there a result for coming here?” Ru Xue finally turned around and looked at me. Her face was obviously thinner, and for the first time, there was a look of confusion in her big eyes. Was she really asking me if there was a result? Or was she just asking me back because she was already sure?

My heart ached as I looked at her and said, “Since my master told me to choose a problem, this is also the problem that I have been confused about for the past few days. But then I figured it out. Do you want to hear it?”

She nodded, really like a helpless child.

I didn’t look into Ru Xue’s eyes, but looked out the window and whispered, “What is the result? From the moment we are born, the result is already death. You can’t say that a person’s life is the pursuit of death, right? The important thing is the process, whether we have allowed our souls to be elevated while we are still alive. Love is the same. A glance is a thousand years, and a moment is eternity. As long as we love each other, what does it matter how long we are together? Even if we don’t part in life, we will always part in death. Is the length of time together the result?

Ruxue didn’t say anything, just looked at me. As wise as she was, she already had a hint of enlightenment in her eyes.

“As long as I have you in my heart, a day together is a lifetime together, because no one can erase the memory of loving you from my life. No one! So, Ru Xue, I like you. If you like me too, would it be okay if we were together? We wouldn’t think about the length of time, or the so-called pressure and concerns. We could be selfish and free to love each other for a while, then respect each other’s choices, miss each other, but also live our own lives without regrets, okay?” I said to Ru Xue seriously.

Ru Xue didn’t answer me, she said, “I am a witch, and you are a Taoist priest. If you want to marry me, you must give up your heritage and turn to witchcraft, because if someone from your village wants to marry a witch, even if they are not a great witch, they must be a witch, so that future generations will have more spiritual power, inherit the way of witchcraft, and protect the village. Your family is unwilling to give up their heritage. From the first day I met you, I could tell from the way you looked that you would never give it up. Just like your master.”

“Actually, you’re wrong. It’s not that I don’t want to give up my heritage, but I don’t want to give up my master, give up the master’s life-saving grace, give up the feelings of relying on each other for more than ten years, and give up the hard work of his sincere teachings for more than ten years. So, what I don’t want to give up is a person, and my master is the same. What he doesn’t want to give up is also his master, the master who saved him, helped him take revenge, and helped him become a talent. I said to Ru Xue very seriously.

“You won’t give up a person, and I won’t give up this village that raised me since I was a child. My parents died too early, and this village has given us so much warmth. As a female shaman, if I insist on marrying someone from outside the village, I will be exiled. You know, we Miao people value our bloodline. We are all descendants of Chiyou, especially the shamans. Female shamans are especially favored by Chiyou. We cannot let our bloodline flow out. Even if I never marry, even if I never marry, I can’t… I, I won’t be exiled from the village, this is my life.” Ru Xue lowered her head and said softly.

We both understood this conversation. I had just told her my choice, and now she was telling me hers.

This is the choice we have to make. I want to be with her, but I have to give up my heritage and my identity. She wants to be with me, but she has to give up the same things: her identity and her village.

We are the same people, not easy to approach, but our inner feelings are like fire. So, we can’t give up, so we will love each other.

“So, have we both chosen?” I asked, looking at Ru Xue.

“Yes,” she replied in a low voice.

As for whether she loves me, she has already given me an answer in our conversation. She has already described me many times in her narrative to Ruoyue, full of curiosity. In the hellish place of the Miao village, we have also been attracted to each other for a long time.

She loves me, pure and simple, and she doesn’t need to say it. She just proves it with her life and the life-like life-giving bug.

“So, without the life-giving worm, she’s still a girl?” I wasn’t upset. I had already expected this choice. I was just worried about her.

“Yes, I can raise another one with my constitution,” Ru Xue replied.

I nodded and said to Ru Xue, “Six months, then six months. In the winter, I’m going to the Black Rock Miao Village to try my best again. Before that, I want to be with you. Then, no matter if I go to the Black Rock Miao Village alive or dead, I won’t have any regrets.

After saying that, I looked at Ru Xue seriously and said, “This is the result of our relationship. Do you accept it?”

For the first time, Ru Xue took my hand and gently placed it on her face, saying, “Six months, isn’t that too hard? What if you miss me for the rest of your life?”

“Who doesn’t have any regrets in their life? Who doesn’t have any regrets? People should know how to appreciate regrets and nostalgia. I only know that I will never regret loving you. I will never forget the way you went out behind my back.”

“Just like I can’t forget that there was a silly boy who pulled me behind him and then inexplicably got into a fight with Bu Zhou.” At this point, Ru Xue smiled, her eyes squinting into a nice crescent moon shape. It was the first time I had seen her smile so brightly.

At this point, I couldn’t help it anymore, and gently pulled her over, holding her in my arms. I didn’t dare to use too much force, and my whole body trembled slightly. I knew that even if I had to spend the rest of my life paying back the sweetness of this moment with bitterness, I would not regret it.

We all settled down in the Moon Weir Miao Village, and I began to fall in love with Ru Xue. I was a little afraid to see Ru Yue, but I didn’t know that Ru Yue was no longer in the village, but had gone to Beijing. She said she wanted Qin Huai to take her on a tour of Beijing.

I really wanted to call Qinhuai and ask him to take good care of Yue, but I thought that was nonsense. Qinhuai would take good care of Yue, wouldn’t he? Besides, at this time, it would be best not to bother Yue. With her cheerful, hot-tempered, and quirky personality, she might just turn back into my little sister Yue.

I don’t care too much about what my master and his friends are doing. In the eyes of lovers, even if the sky were to fall, they would only see each other.

I and Ru Xue are very close, and every day we walk hand in hand, read books together, and I tell her a lot of interesting things and little knowledge about Taoism. She also tells me things about the art of bewitching, for example, I finally know where they hide the bewitching.

It turns out that they are hidden in their belts, aprons, or cuffs, where they are made like a bullet bag, and then inserted with bamboo tubes.

As for how to get them out, that’s a matter of technique. It’s all about speed, just like in the movie “God of Gamblers,” you never know when he’s changing the cards.

Such days are good, and lovers are happy, aren’t they?