Chapter 72: The gravedigger

The bonfire was flickering, and all of us were sitting silently on a leeward hillside.

We didn’t rush to the tomb of the great demon to collect any demon souls, because after Ru Yue’s emotional outburst, Ru Xue said, “Chengyi, your master has already tampered with the remaining soul. Others can either destroy it or collect it. Now, someone who is capable may have already seen the problem and is waiting for you to collect the demon soul and then fight again before the tomb of the immortal.”

I didn’t understand why Ru Xue knew so much from beginning to end. At that time, I didn’t have the mood to ask Ru Xue anything. Since she had said that, we didn’t rush to the tomb. We just camped down when it got dark.

Because of this sudden change, everyone was silent on the road. Although Xiaoxi and Xiaomao didn’t know what had happened, they followed quietly. Baihuier was at the end, and naturally, it didn’t make any noise.

The atmosphere was so uncomfortable. Everyone was silent and doing things, traveling, setting up camp, making a fire, and Old Zhang looking for food. Even Qin Huai and Wu Laogui seemed to have figured out that Ru Xue might be leaving, and they were no longer their usual lively selves. Qin Huai would intentionally or unintentionally pat my shoulder to give me some comfort, and Wu Laogui would look at me pitifully from time to time.

Am I really that pitiful?

At the moment, the food is being roasted over the campfire, and the careful Zhang has not forgotten to make a pot of soup for us to warm ourselves up every time. However, the silent atmosphere has continued until now, and only the sound of the soup pot ‘gurgling’ is left, mocking this dull atmosphere.

“Bang, bang, bang,” is the sound of Lao Zhang knocking on the ashtray, and then Lao Zhang’s somewhat weathered voice entered the ears of each of us: “I haven’t known you for long, and I’m going to be thick-skinned and make friends. I’ll say that I’ve been together for a while and have a deep affection for you, and I don’t know if you recognize it. But I’ve said it anyway.”

At this point, Lao Zhang took out his wine bag from his chest and took a big drink. I wanted to take it and drink a sip, but I didn’t want to. After the battle, Lao Zhang, who had been a little respectful when he spoke to us, glared at me and said, “Really, what kind of wine is this time? Listen to me finish my words.”

I didn’t insist, but Lao Zhang sighed and began to say, “I’m an old man. My wife has been with me for more than 20 years, and my son is about to go to college. I don’t feel any regrets. I’m also an ordinary person, and I don’t understand the so-called division and harmony of the cultivators. But no matter what, there is only one result. Two people who love each other are going to separate. What is the difference between this and ordinary people in the world who are going to separate? Tell me about this world. How many loving men and women end up separating and living their own lives? What is life? Who can live without these things? Let me use an analogy to describe myself. When I was young, I liked a girl, and I liked her to the bone. Even now, when I have some free time, I still think about her. How is she doing? What does she look like now? Does she still think of me?

At this point, Lao Zhang took a sip of wine and said, “I don’t mind you laughing at me for saying this, but that girl and I eventually broke up. The reason? Because I lived in the mountains and her parents didn’t like it, so they found her a husband in the factory. But look at me now, I’m doing just fine. Even if I think of her, my wife will soon call me to buy a bottle of vinegar. My son doesn’t come home from school, he’s gone out to play. I have to go find him. This kind of thing interrupts, because thinking of her is not more important than the trivial things in my life now! Do you understand? I think you two are too unchic. Do you know what I think?

Old Zhang said that by now, Ru Xue and I were listening to him carefully. We were not in the mood at first, but we were both looking at him, waiting for him to give us an answer. Those in the know are confused, just like Ru Xue and I. No one’s heart is truly put down. This kind of unwillingness to stay in the heart will eventually become a ‘demon’!

“That is, when you two liked each other, it would have been nice if you had really liked each other. If the woman wants to leave, that’s fine, just say why. If the man can’t keep her, that’s fine too, just be generous and give her your blessing, so she can rest assured. What’s so regrettable about that? Did either of you betray the other? Tell me, in this world, can you expect everything to go your way? That’s strange! If you don’t like it, you won’t live a good life. You have to do something willful and go against life. This is strange! After saying this, Mr. Zhang took another sip of wine and finally whispered, “In matters of the heart, as long as the two people who like each other are worthy of each other, they can fight for it. If it doesn’t work out, then let go! Just like that girl, when I liked her, she liked me too, and she was nice to me. What do I have to complain about? Can anyone say that this didn’t happen? Bullshit! What about me? At that time, I had to marry her, elope with her, and never see my parents again? That’s not possible. She did right by me. It’s enough that she marries someone who treats her well in the future.

Ru Xue and I were silent. Zhang’s words were simple, but also profound. This is the simplest common wisdom of ordinary people. At that time, Ru Xue and I made a wish like this: we loved each other for half a year, then we separated, but we couldn’t separate. Our feelings were still intertwined with each other, only because we couldn’t see through it and couldn’t let go.

“Okay, I’ve said what I wanted to say. Do you two think it’s necessary to communicate? It’s not snowing now, and there’s the moon. The scenery in this old forest is pretty good. Let’s walk and talk. Maybe our hearts will be freed.” Old Zhang looked at me and Ru Xue.

Ru Yue leaned on Ru Xue’s shoulder, unwilling to look at Ru Xue. Ru Xue patted Ru Yue’s shoulder. Up to now, we have never asked how she and Qin Huai came here.

But now is not the time to ask.

Ru Xue patted Ru Yue and said, “Yes, I can’t escape. At least I have to give Chengyi an explanation.”

It was only then that Yueyue realized that my heart was probably hurting a lot more than hers. She looked at me with concern after all.

I stood up and said, “Well, I’ll listen.”

The old forest under the moonlight is really beautiful, just as Old Zhang said. The moonlight falls on the snow-white trees and the snow-white ground, lightly giving a silver light to everything, flickering like a dream world.

Ru Xue and I walked quietly in the forest, the snow under our feet crunching as we walked. Behind us, the white dog followed, protecting us from wild animals. Everything was surprisingly beautiful and quiet.

“At that time, I had a wish in my heart. Do you know what it was?” I said, and the long white breath I exhaled quickly dissipated in the air.

“What is it?” Ru Xue asked, and naturally took my arm in her hand, warming my heart. Maybe Zhang’s words really made Ru Xue realize something, just like me.

“Even though the Yueyan Miao village is beautiful, it’s a shame that we always fall in love there. I really want to take you to many places, like to see the sea, the mountains, or at the very least, the West Lake.” I said as calmly as I could, although I couldn’t help but feel sad. But I knew that what Lao Zhang said was reasonable.

“That’s great,” Ruoxue replied simply, but she really thought it was great.

“Yes, it’s good, but it’s just a thought. At that time, we decided to watch a movie every year. Ruoxue, I’m not lying to you, it’s the thing I look forward to most every year. I’m especially happy to be here in the old forest, and I also feel like I’m traveling with you.” I looked at the moon in the sky and said.

“I’m really sorry, Chengyi, I can’t go to the movies with you anymore. I really have to leave. No, not leave, but stay.” Ruxue’s voice was full of regret.

After all, she was going to start telling me.

“Stay? Well, you say it.” I knew that Ruoxue would confess everything tonight, and I waited for Ruoxue’s next words. I always remembered what Lao Zhang said, to wish her well and let her go with peace of mind.

“Yes, I’m staying because I want to be a gravedigger.” Ruoxue looked at my profile and finally gave me an answer!