Chapter 157: Destiny

“The next part is the happiest period of my life, and the period I would most like to relive in my life so far… In fact, I believe that everyone has a period of time in their hearts that they cherish, and when they dream at midnight, they want to repeat it again.” Lushan’s voice sounded a little ethereal for some reason.

I somehow resonated with such literary words. I also wanted to spend another six months with Ruoxue. I just thought it in my heart, but when the words came out of my mouth, they became a teasing to Lushan: “When did you become so literary?”

“It’s not literature. Listen to me… Even if it’s just nonsense, I want to say it because when I talk about it, it’s like I’m reliving those years… but in the past, I didn’t know who to tell.” Lushan said to me.

“Then say it.” I stretched out my body and looked at the stars… Unforgettable years, unforgettable people…

After that promise, Baima officially appeared in Lushan’s life. If Lushan’s childhood was full of suffering, then Baima was a spirit released by heaven to make up for Lushan.

They often met in the pasture where Lushan grazed his sheep. Sometimes Pema would carry her younger brother, and sometimes she would not bring him. On the vast grasslands with the sky high and the clouds far away, their laughter could be heard everywhere.

But Baima brought more to Lushan than that… Lushan was an orphan, so naturally no one cared about his schooling and literacy, but Baima would teach him, not only teaching him to write in Tibetan, but also teaching him to speak Chinese and write Chinese characters… Baima would often bring some books for Lushan to read.

Sometimes it was ordinary magazine reading material, sometimes it was Tibetan Buddhist scriptures, and sometimes it was even some textbooks… She seemed to know a lot, always explaining to Lu Shan what he didn’t understand… She seemed very smart, always giving Lu Shan a clear and bright hint…

She also told Lu Shan about the outside world and history… Lu Shan was already a very smart person, and Pema became his life’s enlightening teacher, opening a magical door for him.

Who would have thought that there was such a little girl in the world, with a perfect face, a smart and rich brain, and most importantly, a kind heart.

“Why do I say she is kind? Because after she learned about my background… she would often bring me food, all kinds of delicious snacks I had never seen before… She always looked at me with a smile, always telling me to eat my fill… Chengyi, if such a girl appeared in your years of suffering? How would you describe her? I can’t think of a better word to describe her. I can only describe her as I saw her once. She is a goddess. Sometimes I really wish she was my own goddess… but unfortunately, she was never mine.” Lushan was a little sad, but his eyes were confused… still immersed in his own memories.

“Yes, a goddess… In such a time, to have such a girl appear is to engrave it into the soul, and it may be something that you don’t want to forget for a lifetime.” I said the same thing, so beautiful, so kind… Even if you can’t have her love for a lifetime, she is worth remembering for a lifetime.

Lushan smiled and said nothing… but continued to tell the story.

Once, he thought his declaration would last forever in the vast grasslands… He never thought about when such a day would end. Just like every day of her life, the afternoon appointment had become a normal part of her life. Who would have thought that there would be an end to it? Unless it was the end of life.

And such days passed for a long time… From the time when Lushan was 11 years old to the time when he was 16, he had truly grown into a teenager… After five whole years, how could Lushan think that it would end?

That afternoon, Baima and Lushan met again… and this time, everything finally changed.

Lushan was happy to see Baima, because she didn’t appear every day. At the longest, she would appear after three days, and at the shortest, she would appear almost every day for several months.

This is why Lu Shan was happy. He missed Baima and was naturally happy to see her again. However, he was actually not worried at all, because their agreement was the life that Lu Shan thought he had, and he thought it would never fail.

But in this world, in this universe, nothing is forever. Only the cycle of reincarnation is the unchanging law of heaven… unless you jump out of it. But jumping out of it is not a thing, it can only be a spirit, a tempered spirit, which is the Tao.

At that time, Lushan didn’t understand any of this. Even if he did, he wouldn’t have thought about it. He was just happy to rush to Baima’s side and ask, “Baima, where have you been these days? I still don’t understand one question in my book. I’ve thought about it for a long time, but I don’t know if the answer I came up with is right. Look, it’s…”

Lushan held up a book in his hand and said to Baima happily.

At the age of 11, he didn’t understand love, but at the age of 16, he was already in love… Lushan understood that he was deeply in love with Baima, but he didn’t dare to cross the line. Baima always liked him the most for his positive learning… Therefore, Lushan always actively behaved in front of Baima like this, and every time he got the most enthusiastic response from Baima.

But this time, Baima didn’t look at the book in Lushan’s hand, but looked at Lushan and said sadly, “Zeren, I won’t be able to come here from tomorrow… I won’t come anymore.”

With a ‘pop’, the book in Lu Shan’s hand fell to the ground, and the wind blew through… the pages rustled, and everything became silent.

Lushan had a thousand words to say, but at this moment he didn’t know where to start. All his emotions turned into a wave of sadness that rushed to his head, and finally his eyes turned red…

Baima was also speechless. In addition to sadness, there was more of a determination in her eyes.

In this silence, Lushan finally spoke. He was really afraid that he would never see Baima again after tomorrow. He said, “Baima, does that mean our promise is no longer valid?”

At this moment, Lushan realized that he had no cards to play, and the only thing he had in his hand was an agreement.

“Even if the world lasts forever, there will be an end. Promises will fade with time… The fate of our meeting is precious enough. Why do we have to force everything?” Bai Ma’s words drifted in the wind, but they were like knives stabbing into Lushan’s heart.

“Not coming?” Lu Shan asked again.

“Well, no.” Bai Ma’s words were soft.

“Then I won’t be able to see Tao Bai anymore?” Lu Shan’s voice began to tremble, because sometimes when they met, Bai Ma would bring her younger brother with her. Although it wasn’t as frequent as when Tao Bai was an infant, there was always some. Her younger brother didn’t have a Tibetan name, but strangely enough, he had a Han name. Lu Shan never asked why.

It was because these things were not important, and the important thing was the time spent together… In the five years that had passed, Tao Bai had become a five-and-a-half-year-old child. He was closest to Lushan, closer than to his own sister, like Lushan’s real brother.

He sensed it at that time. Lushan would be his greatest support during his growing years.

“I won’t come, and I certainly can’t bring Xiaobai with me. Zeren, remember the knowledge I taught you. It’s a door. If you push it open, you can see the outside world. You can’t spend your whole life just herding sheep on the grasslands. You’re very good… I hope you can live a good life in the future.” When she talked about this, there was a kind of compassion in her smile, just like the compassion she had when they first met.

She was so kind. She once said to Lushan that she hoped that all the living things she had seen with her own eyes, even the grass and trees, would be happy and peaceful.

How merciful is this? Now it is placed on Lushan’s body, but it has become the greatest sadness.

For a long time, in front of Baima, Lushan was the shy, studious, gentle teenager who silently agreed with everything Baima said. But this time, under the impact of great sadness, Lushan could no longer hold back. For the first time, he was irritable, and he shouted at Baima, “Why should I go out into the world to see? Is going out into the world happiness? No… I want to stay on this grassland, because only by staying on this grassland can I see you, and seeing you is happiness! Before I met you, I didn’t know what happiness was.”

This is the cry of a 16-year-old teenager… At this age, children are still in school, and they don’t have such a profound understanding of happiness. However, Lushan’s special life has given him the greatest understanding.

“But I won’t be coming, and you won’t see me again… So your happiness is elsewhere, and you will go looking for it, and I will recite sutras for you and bless you.” At this moment, Baima seemed to have that holy aura around her again, but this aura suddenly widened the distance between her and Lushan.

“If you don’t come, I’ll go find you… Just like the poem you read to me, I can always find you, no matter where you are.” The stubbornness of a 16-year-old is so firm that at that moment, Lushan seemed to have chosen the path of life once again.

“Looking for me? Where can you find me? Do you know who I am?” Bai Ma looked at Lushan and suddenly asked, sighing again.

But Lu Shan really didn’t give up… When Baima said she was leaving, his life had already been rewritten, or rather, his fate had already been sealed.