Confucius’ Etiquette: The Art of Polite Farewells in Ancient China

10·15 Ask (1) people in other states, and then send them off with two bows (2).

Annotation:

(1) Ask: to greet. In the past, people often sent gifts when greeting.

(2) Send them off with two bows: when sending off a guest, bow twice.

[Translation]

When (Confucius) asked someone to send greetings and gifts to his friends in other states, he bowed twice to the person entrusted with the task. [Commentary]

The above six chapters record some of Confucius’ rules or habits of behavior and speech. He always demanded of himself the standards of a righteous gentleman, and tried to make his words and deeds conform to the rules of propriety. He believed that “propriety” was supreme and sacred, and that every step and every gesture must conform to the principles of propriety. This is a reflection of Confucius’ personal cultivation, and also a practice he followed when teaching his students knowledge and benevolence.

Confucius, a central figure in Chinese philosophy, is renowned for his emphasis on proper behavior and etiquette. One intriguing aspect of his teachings involves the intricate customs surrounding greetings and farewells.

In ancient China, the act of sending well-wishes to friends from other states was a significant gesture. According to historical accounts, Confucius exemplified this practice by entrusting someone to convey his greetings and gifts. To ensure the utmost respect and adherence to proper etiquette, he would bid farewell to the emissary with two formal bows.

This practice underscores Confucius’ dedication to the principles of “li,” or ritual propriety. In his view, “li” was not just a set of rules but a sacred and inviolable aspect of life. Every action, from the smallest gesture to the grandest ceremony, was to be performed with meticulous adherence to these standards.

Confucius’ commitment to “li” reflects his personal discipline and his teaching methodology. By embodying these principles, he not only demonstrated his own virtue but also set a practical example for his students. This approach was intended to impart the values of respect and propriety, which were central to his philosophy.

Confucius’ practice of extending polite farewells and sending gifts was more than a social custom—it was a reflection of his deep respect for the principles of ritual propriety and his dedication to teaching these values through his actions. This aspect of his behavior provides valuable insight into the cultural importance of etiquette in ancient China and the enduring influence of Confucian ideals.