Confucius’ Timeless Teachings on Family Respect and Duty

2·5 Meng Yizi (1) asked about filial piety, and the Master said, “Do not disobey.” (2)” Fan Chi (3) drove (4) the carriage, and the Master said to him, ‘Mengsun (5) asked me about filial piety, and I said, ‘Do not transgress the rules of propriety.’ Fan Chi said, ‘What do you mean by that?’ The Master said, ‘In life, treat him with propriety; in death, bury him with propriety; in sacrifice, offer him with propriety.

[Notes]

(1) Meng Yi Zi: a nobleman of the state of Lu, one of the three families, surnamed Zhongsun, named He Ji, and given the posthumous name Yi. Before his death, his father asked him to learn from Confucius.

(2) Wuwai: Do not violate.

(3) Fan Chi: Fan Chi was the name of a disciple of Confucius, 46 years younger than Confucius. He and Ran Qiu helped Ji Kangzi carry out reforms.

(4) Yu: To drive a carriage.

(5) Mengsun: Refers to Meng Yi Zi.

Translation

Meng Yi Zi asked what filial piety was, and Confucius said, “Filial piety is not to violate the rites.” Later, Fan Chi drove the carriage for Confucius, and Confucius told him, “Mengsun asked me what filial piety is, and I told him not to violate the rites.” Fan Chi said, “What does it mean not to violate the rites?” Confucius said, “When your parents are alive, you should serve them according to the rites; when your parents are dead, you should bury them and sacrifice to them according to the rites.”

Commentary

Confucius attached great importance to filial piety, and required people to be filial to their parents, whether they were alive or dead. But the main point here is that filial piety should not violate the rules of propriety, otherwise it is not true filial piety. It can be seen that filial piety is not empty and arbitrary, and must be subject to the rules of propriety.

The Inquiry of Meng Yi Zi

Meng Yi Zi, a nobleman from the state of Lu, sought wisdom from Confucius regarding the essence of filial piety. Confucius’ response was succinct yet profound: “Do not violate the rites.” This simple yet powerful directive encapsulates the essence of filial piety within the framework of propriety and respect.

The Dialogue with Fan Chi

The narrative further unfolds with Fan Chi, a disciple of Confucius, who inquired deeper into the meaning of not violating the rites. Confucius elaborated that filial piety involves a lifelong adherence to proper conduct:

During Life: Treat your parents with respect and follow the rituals that honor them.

After Death: Bury them with dignity and continue to honor them through appropriate sacrifices.

The Importance of Rites

Confucius emphasized that true filial piety is not arbitrary. It is deeply connected to the observance of established rituals and propriety. This structured approach ensures that respect for parents is maintained in both life and death, fostering a sense of continuity and reverence across generations.

Modern Relevance

While rooted in ancient traditions, the principles of filial piety and propriety offer valuable lessons for contemporary society:

Family Bonds: Emphasizing respect and care for elders strengthens family relationships.

Cultural Continuity: Observing traditional rituals preserves cultural heritage and fosters a sense of belonging.

Ethical Framework: Upholding propriety provides a moral compass that guides behavior and social interactions.