Embracing Filial Piety: Understanding Confucius’ Teaching on Respecting Parental Legacy

4·20 The Master said, “If a man does not change his father’s ways for three years, he may be said to be filial.” (1)

[Commentary]

(1) The content of this chapter is found in Chapter 1·11 of the “Xue Er” chapter, which is omitted here.

Filial piety, a cornerstone of Chinese culture, represents the deep respect and devotion a child shows towards their parents. This concept, profoundly emphasized by Confucius, holds significant relevance even in contemporary society. One of Confucius’ teachings on this subject is encapsulated in the quote, “If a man does not change his father’s ways for three years, he may be said to be filial.” This saying highlights the importance of preserving and honoring one’s parental legacy.

What is Filial Piety?

In traditional Chinese culture, filial piety is more than just a duty; it is a moral obligation deeply rooted in the values of respect, loyalty, and reverence for one’s parents and ancestors. It dictates that children should care for their parents, obey their wishes, and uphold the family’s honor and traditions. This principle is central to Confucian philosophy, which has shaped Chinese societal norms for centuries.

The Teaching Explained

Confucius’ statement, “If a man does not change his father’s ways for three years, he may be said to be filial,” suggests a specific period during which a son should adhere to his deceased father’s practices and values. The three-year period symbolizes a profound respect for the parent’s legacy, ensuring continuity and honoring the father’s memory.

In ancient China, three years was also the traditional mourning period for a parent. During this time, the son was expected to abstain from major life changes and maintain the family’s way of life as a mark of respect and mourning. This practice reinforced the importance of familial continuity and stability, key aspects of Confucian thought.

The Modern Relevance of Filial Piety

While the strict observance of a three-year mourning period may not be practical in modern times, the essence of Confucius’ teaching remains relevant. In today’s fast-paced world, the principles of filial piety encourage individuals to remain connected to their family roots and values. Respecting and honoring one’s parents can take various forms, such as caring for them in old age, upholding family traditions, or simply spending quality time together.

Filial Piety in American Culture

Though the concept of filial piety is deeply ingrained in Chinese culture, its core values resonate universally. In the United States, similar values are evident in the emphasis on family ties and respect for elders. The idea of honoring one’s parents, while perhaps less formalized than in Chinese culture, is a shared sentiment.

American families, too, can embrace the spirit of filial piety by fostering strong intergenerational relationships and ensuring the well-being of older family members. Celebrating family traditions, preserving family stories, and showing gratitude to parents are ways to honor the familial legacy, akin to the practices advocated by Confucius.