The Hypocrisy of Sweet Words and Fake Smiles: Lessons from Confucius

5-25 The Tzu said, “Coquettish speech is sufficiently respectful(1); Zuo Qiu Ming(2) is ashamed of it, and the Qiu is also ashamed of it. If you hide your grudges and make friends with others, Zuo Qiu Ming is ashamed of you, and the Qiu is also ashamed of you.”

[Commentary

(1) The foot is respectful: one says that the two feet make a respectful gesture to please others; the other says that it is excessively respectful. The latter is used here.

(2) Zuo Qiu Ming: surnamed Zuo Qiu Ming, a native of Lu, rumored to be the author of the book Zuo Zhuan.

[Translation

Confucius said, “To speak flowery language, to put on a nice face, to make a gesture of greeting, to be excessively respectful in a lowly manner, Zuo Qiu Ming thinks that this kind of person is shameful, and so do I. To keep resentment in one’s heart, and to make it appear on the surface, is to be shameful. Putting resentment in one’s heart, but putting on a friendly face on the surface, Zuo Qiu Ming thinks this kind of person is shameful, and I also think it is shameful.”

[Commentary

Confucius disliked the practice of “skillful speech and color”, which was already mentioned in the chapter of “Learning and Learning”. He advocated that people should be upright, frank and honest, and should not be deceitful and inconsistent. This is in line with Confucius’ basic requirement of cultivating a healthy personality. This kind of thinking is still relevant to us today, and it is highly pertinent to those who do one thing in front of others and another after them.

Confucius, a revered Chinese philosopher, emphasized the importance of authenticity in human interactions. One of his notable quotes states, “巧言令色足恭，左丘明耻之，丘亦耻之。匿怨而友其人，左丘明耻之，丘亦耻之。” This translates to, “Flowery speech, a pleasant face, and excessive politeness to please others—Zuo Qiuming found such behavior shameful, and so do I. Concealing resentment while appearing friendly—Zuo Qiuming found this shameful, and so do I.”