The True Meaning of Being a Gentleman According to Confucius

Zi Gong asked about a gentleman. The Master said, “First carry out what you say, and then follow it.”

【Translation】

Zi Gong asked how to be a gentleman. Confucius said, “If you put your words into practice before you speak them, then you are a gentleman.”

[Commentary]

To be a gentleman with moral integrity and extensive knowledge was the goal that Confucius’ disciples sought. Confucius believed that a gentleman should not just talk, but should put his words into practice before he speaks. Only by doing before speaking can one be trusted by others.

The Confucian Ideal of a Gentleman

In one of his teachings, Confucius addressed the concept of a gentleman when Zi Gong, one of his disciples, asked how to embody this ideal. Confucius responded with a simple yet profound principle: “If you put your words into practice before you speak them, then you are a gentleman.” This statement emphasizes a core value in Confucian thought—the importance of aligning one’s actions with one’s words.

The Practice of Integrity

Confucius believed that a gentleman, or “junzi” in Chinese, is not merely defined by the ability to articulate lofty ideals. Instead, a true gentleman demonstrates integrity by practicing what he preaches. This means that before one can speak about virtue, one must first embody it in daily actions. For instance, if someone claims to value honesty, they must first exhibit honesty in their own behavior. This practice of integrity ensures that one’s words are not empty rhetoric but are grounded in real, observable actions.

Trust and Respect through Action

The reason behind Confucius’s emphasis on actions over words is practical. When a person’s actions align with their statements, they build trust and credibility. In both personal relationships and professional settings, individuals who consistently act in accordance with their professed values are more likely to earn respect and admiration. This alignment between words and deeds fosters genuine connections and builds a reputation of reliability and honesty.

Applying the Lesson Today

In our fast-paced, often superficial modern world, the Confucian ideal of a gentleman offers a timeless reminder of the value of authenticity. Whether in personal relationships, business dealings, or public life, the principle of practicing what we preach is as relevant today as it was in Confucius’s time. By focusing on consistent and genuine actions, we not only honor the teachings of Confucius but also contribute to a more trustworthy and ethical society.

To embody the true essence of being a gentleman according to Confucius, consider adopting these practices:

Lead by Example: Ensure that your actions reflect your values and beliefs. By doing so, you set a standard for others to follow.

Build Trust through Consistency: Be consistent in your behavior. Consistent actions reinforce your credibility and reliability.

Cultivate Integrity: Make integrity a cornerstone of your personal and professional life. Authenticity in your actions will foster deeper, more meaningful relationships.