Understanding Filial Piety: Insights from Confucius
4·21 The Master said, “One should not fail to know the age of one’s parents. One should be glad on the one hand, and afraid on the other.”
【Translation】
Confucius said, “One should not fail to know the age of one’s parents and always keep it in mind. One should be glad on the one hand, and afraid on the other.”
【Commentary】
In the late Spring and Autumn Period, society was in turmoil, and there were frequent incidents of treasonous rebellion, such as the killing of a king by his minister and the killing of a father by his son. In order to maintain the patriarchal family system, Confucius emphasized “filial piety.” Therefore, this chapter is still about “filial piety,” requiring children to be respectful of their parents from the bottom of their hearts and to obey their parents absolutely. This is to be criticized.
In one of his teachings, Confucius said, “One should not fail to know the age of one’s parents and always keep it in mind. One should be glad on the one hand, and afraid on the other.” This statement encapsulates a dual sense of joy and fear that children should feel regarding their parents’ age.
The joy comes from gratitude and appreciation for their parents’ longevity and continued presence in their lives. It reflects a sense of happiness for having the opportunity to still care for and learn from them. On the other hand, the fear stems from the awareness of their parents’ mortality. As parents age, the inevitable truth of their eventual passing becomes more apparent, instilling a sense of urgency to cherish and honor them while they are still alive.
During the late Spring and Autumn Period, a time marked by social turmoil and political instability, Confucius’ emphasis on filial piety was particularly significant. Society was rife with incidents of rebellion and betrayal, such as ministers overthrowing kings and sons killing fathers. In such a chaotic context, Confucius saw filial piety as a stabilizing force. By promoting absolute respect and obedience towards parents, he aimed to reinforce the patriarchal family system, which he believed was crucial for maintaining social order.
However, modern interpretations of Confucius’ teachings can be more nuanced. While the absolute obedience he advocated may seem outdated today, the underlying principles of respect, gratitude, and care for one’s parents remain relevant. In contemporary society, filial piety can be understood as fostering strong family bonds and ensuring the well-being of elderly parents, both emotionally and physically.
Understanding and practicing filial piety in the modern world involves balancing traditional values with contemporary views on individuality and autonomy. It encourages us to respect our parents’ wisdom and experience while also acknowledging their need for independence and self-expression. It also means being proactive in supporting them, whether through emotional support, financial assistance, or helping them navigate the complexities of modern life.
For many in the United States, where cultural norms often emphasize individualism, the concept of filial piety might seem foreign or even restrictive. However, at its core, it promotes universal values of love, respect, and responsibility towards family. By embracing these principles, individuals can foster a more compassionate and connected family environment.
The Power of Words: Why Ancient Wisdom Valued Promise-Keeping
4·22 The Master said, “In former times, men did not speak lightly, for they were ashamed of their own inability to carry out their words.”
【Translation】
Confucius said, “In ancient times, people did not speak lightly, because they were ashamed of their own inability to carry out their words.”
[Commentary]
Confucius always advocated being careful with words and actions, not making promises lightly, and not taking sides lightly. If you can’t keep your promises, you will lose the trust of others and your prestige will be reduced. Therefore, Confucius said that the ancients did not speak lightly, let alone speak what they wanted, because they felt ashamed of not being able to keep their promises. This idea is desirable.
In a world where words are often used carelessly, the ancient wisdom of Confucius reminds us of the profound value of promise-keeping. Confucius, one of China’s greatest philosophers, taught that in ancient times, people did not speak lightly because they felt a deep sense of shame if they failed to follow through on their words.
Understanding Confucius’s Teachings
Confucius emphasized that words and actions should be handled with utmost care. The idea was that making a promise or expressing an opinion was not to be taken lightly. For the ancients, the act of speaking held significant weight. They believed that if you could not fulfill your promises, you would lose the trust of others and diminish your reputation. This sense of responsibility and honor was central to their interactions and social standing.
Why Promise-Keeping Matters
In modern times, the value of keeping promises remains just as relevant. When we make a commitment, we are essentially building trust. If we fail to deliver on our promises, it can lead to a breakdown in relationships and a loss of respect. Just as the ancients felt a strong sense of shame for not living up to their words, we too should recognize the importance of integrity and reliability in our communications.
Lessons for Today
Confucius’s teachings offer valuable lessons for today’s world. They encourage us to think before we speak and to consider the impact of our words. By adhering to the principle of not speaking lightly, we can foster deeper trust and stronger relationships in both our personal and professional lives.
Embracing this ancient wisdom not only helps us to honor our commitments but also enhances our credibility and respect in the eyes of others. In a world where words are often taken for granted, remembering the value of promise-keeping can set us apart and build a foundation of integrity.