Heartache of Unspoken Love

Why doesn’t that sly young man speak to me?

It’s because of you that I can’t eat.

Why doesn’t that sly young man share a meal with me?

It’s because of you that I can’t sleep.

Madame de Staël, the French writer, said: “Love is merely an episode in a man’s life, but for a woman, it is her whole existence.” Indeed, a young woman’s greatest task is to repeatedly affirm that the young man’s love is devoted, singular, and unchanging. Thus, a woman in love is never at peace. The slightest unusual expression from her partner stirs turmoil in her heart; any act of indifference causes her immense pain and distress, disrupting her sleep and appetite. The woman in the poem “The Sly Young Man” from the Book of Songs is a perfect example of this. Perhaps it was a quarrel or a misunderstanding, but the young man’s two acts of neglect cause her to be deeply unsettled, expressing her anguish openly.

Firstly, the two stanzas of the poem present the gradual process of estrangement between the lovers. The first stanza states: “He does not speak to me.” The second stanza continues: “He does not share a meal with me.” This is not a simultaneous occurrence but a progressive development. “Not speaking to me” does not refer to a simple refusal to acknowledge her on the road, but rather a lack of attention during shared meals. “Not sharing a meal with me” implies that initially, he ignored her during their meals and then eventually stopped dining with her altogether. The small boat of their love faces a storm, in imminent danger of capsizing. Accordingly, the woman’s pain from her unrequited love deepens step by step. While ignoring her during meals makes each meal less enjoyable, their separation makes eating unbearable and sleep impossible. Therefore, the woman’s direct and heartfelt lamentation reflects her growing sense of grievance.

Secondly, the poem depicts a woman who is initially overwhelmed by the pain of lost love but remains deeply affectionate towards her partner. The Book of Songs contains many depictions of individuals dealing with changes in their love lives, with varying degrees of emotional distress. The woman in “The Sly Young Man” faces heartbreak and, through her cries, shows a blend of resentment and yearning. The term “sly” or “guǎo” might be interpreted as “handsome and strong,” so “that sly young man” can also be understood as “that handsome young man.” This interpretation reveals a mixture of affection within her complaints and a deep, unfulfilled longing despite her suffering. The transition from the third-person “he” in the first part of the poem to the direct second-person address in the final lines underscores her unrelenting emotional attachment and desire.

The ancient “Book of Songs” conveys emotions that are timeless and universal. Despite its concise language making it difficult to interpret, “The Sly Young Man” is straightforward in its emotional expression. The woman’s heartfelt lament is direct and poignant. Yet, this straightforward expression of emotions has often been misinterpreted over the centuries. As Qian Zhongshu pointed out, “One must draw from the essence of the poem itself rather than relying solely on external interpretations. Only then can the true meaning be appreciated.” His insightful commentary on interpreting ancient poetry applies to “The Sly Young Man” and indeed to all classical poetry.

Analysis

The poem “The Sly Young Man” is a vivid portrayal of emotional distress resulting from a lover’s neglect. The structure of the poem, with its two progressive stanzas, captures the escalation of estrangement between the lovers. Initially, the young man’s indifference is shown through his refusal to speak, and subsequently, his refusal to share a meal, which symbolizes a more profound disconnect.

Madame de Staël’s observation about the nature of love for men and women helps contextualize the emotional depth of the poem. For the woman in the poem, her sense of abandonment is not just about physical neglect but also about the emotional void created by the young man’s actions. Her distress over not being spoken to or shared a meal with reflects a deeper sense of betrayal and loss.

The poem’s direct and expressive nature allows readers to connect deeply with the woman’s anguish. Her cries of despair highlight a universal experience of love and heartbreak. Despite the simplicity of the language, the emotional impact is profound, revealing the complexities of human relationships and the pain of unreciprocated affection.

Overall, “The Sly Young Man” is a powerful reflection on the emotional turmoil experienced in love. Its portrayal of a woman’s distress in the face of neglect and the transition from general observation to direct address provides a rich exploration of the theme of love and loss. This ancient poem continues to resonate with readers today, offering insights into the timeless nature of human emotions and relationships.