Chapter 81

This time, the sudden car accident and Ling Xiao’s action of defiantly shielding him, like history repeating itself, caused Ling Yuan to once again fall into a circle of self-doubt as well as the weirdness of blaming me for everything.

Back then, when his mother collapsed in front of him, he couldn’t do anything about it; now that he’s grown up, his father still protects him under his wing.

Wasn’t he useless?

Back then, if he had been able to protect his mother, wouldn’t she have died?

It was his fault, everything was his fault.

It was his fault that mom was gone.

It was also his fault that dad got hurt.

He should have never appeared in this world ……

Ling Yuan in the nightmare has not been able to wake up, heart “boom boom” beating, seems to jump out of the heart, breathing heavily, two hands clenched into fists, white back of the hand veins protruding, the whole person like a baby curled up into a ball, eyes closed tightly, eyebrows knitted, forming a “Chuan” word, the forehead of the person curled up into a ball, eyes closed tightly, eyebrows knitted, forming a “Chuan” word, the forehead of the person curled up into a ball, eyes closed tightly, eyebrows knitted, forming a “Chuan” word. His eyes were tightly closed, his brows knitted tightly, forming a “Chuan” character, and a layer of fine beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.

Ling Xiao suddenly wakes up in his sleep, opens his eyes and sees Ling Yuan’s face full of pain, not caring about the injury on his back, endures the pain, struggles to get up from the bed and walks over to call out to him.

“Ah Jiu, Ah Jiu …… wake up, you wake up.”

Ling Yuan opened his eyes at once, the bottom of his eyes were filled with the color of pain that had not dissipated. He sat up with his hands and looked around, suddenly remembering that he was still in the hospital, while his father, who was supposed to be lying in bed, was looking at him with a concerned and worried face.

“Dad,” he hurriedly gets out of bed and helps Ling Xiao to lie back down again, his voice hoarse, “I just now, did I scare you?”

Ling Xiao leans on the bed and shakes his head, “No.”

He had thought that Ling Yuan’s illness would flare up, he just didn’t expect it to be worse than the previous times, but, if it happens again, he will still pounce on his son, after all, it’s in the nature and instinct of a father to protect his son.

Looking at his son’s pale and bloodless face, his eyes flashed with heartache.

After pausing for a good instant, he used a consultative tone, “Jiu, let’s make another appointment with a psychiatrist?”

“Good.” The moment he answered, many thoughts flashed through Ling Yuan’s mind, there was his mother’s slowly closing eyes, his father’s and grandparents’ eager gazes, and Ji Yu’s deer-like eyes ……

He had to be strong, otherwise, how could he go about protecting the people he cared about?

He was due to see a psychiatrist again.

The psychiatrist was the one that Ling Yuan had seen since he was a child, called Tong Lin, who was familiar with Ling Yuan’s situation, and with a single phone call from Ling Xiao, he drove to the clinic overnight.

When Ling Yuan arrived, Tong Lin was already sitting in the clinic waiting for him.

Seeing him come in, he looked up and smiled, “Here, want something to drink?”

Ling Yuan’s mouth moved, “Warm boiled water, please!”

“Good, have a seat.” Tong Lin got up and poured him a glass of water and put it in front of him.

“Thanks!”

Tong Lin sat down again, crossed his fingers on the desktop, and with a relaxed tone, smiled gently, “Tell me how you feel right now?”

In fact, on his way to the clinic, he had already called and talked to Ling Xiao to understand the situation, and also knew what happened this afternoon, he was now trying to understand what was going through his mind.

Ling Yuan lowered his head in silence before speaking, “It’s the same as before, there’s blood everywhere, it’s all over the place.”

Tong Lin’s heart thumped and his grip on the pen tightened, but he still gave him a reassuring look and softly asked, “Besides this? Is there anything else?”

He remembers that the first time he met Ling Yuan, he was only five years old, and when they met, he was cowering behind Ling Xiao, his eyes full of terror.

However, he had heard Ling Xiao tell him that before the family’s accident, this child was lively and smart, learning everything very quickly.

His elder brother’s family also had a newborn child, imagine how his family’s child would be affected by such stimulation his family? It was heartbreaking to think about.

Therefore, he was extraordinarily heartbroken for this child.

Ling Yuan was very smart, asking him questions he would subconsciously analyze them, even though he was only five years old. He was very wary of people, sometimes he would be fooled by him, he and Ling Xiao spent a great deal of effort and it took more than a year to get him to slowly open his heart before his condition started to slowly improve.

Over the years, Tong Lin had also been accompanying Ling Yuan as he grew up, both as a doctor and as a friend-like presence.

Ling Yuan’s lips pursed into a line, holding the teacup, “Dr. Tong Lin, let me ask you a question.”

Tong Lin didn’t even think about it and nodded, “You ask.”

“You said like my condition, can I fall in love? Can I get married and have children normally?”

Ling Yuan at this time was pessimistic, still with hostility, completely without the usual teenager’s willfulness, although his voice was smooth, a hint of nervousness could still be heard from it.

Tong Lin froze for a moment, not expecting him to ask this question, and then laughed, ”Yes, why not? You’re a normal person, why can’t you fall in love, get married and have children?”

Ling Yuan laughed a little to himself, “How am I considered a normal person? Even I myself don’t know which day this disease will strike.”

Tong Lin raised his hand to hold the gold glasses on the bridge of his nose, “Ling Yuan, don’t deny yourself so easily, you are just a normal person who can’t be normal anymore.”

“Living in this current era, who doesn’t have some mental illness? It’s just that other people don’t see it too much, and you’re just slightly more severe than others, it’s not like this disease can’t be cured. You’ve been treated for so many years, and things are already getting better. Moreover, you have to realize that this one was just a very random incident.”

Ling Yuan was not satisfied with his answer, he had heard these words many times before, “But what if the other party dislikes my illness?”

At this moment, Ling Yuan suddenly became a little uncertain, if Ji Yu rejected him because of his illness, what would happen to him?

He would go crazy, right? Or would he snatch her up regardless?

The thought of her falling in love with someone else, getting married to someone else and having children gave him a choking feeling in his heart.

Tong Lin’s gaze fell on him, suddenly a little curious, “Then can I ask you a question as well?”

“Yes.” Ling Yuan responded with alacrity.

Tong Lin’s tone was somewhat gossipy, “Do you have a favorite girl?”

Ling Yuan: “……”

After three seconds of silence, he sharply admitted, “Yes.”

Tong Lin, “What’s that girl like? You like her a lot?”

Ling Yuan answered frankly, “I love her.”

He knew very clearly that his feelings for Ji Yu were love, not just a casual whim.

In this world, if he had to marry someone, that person would definitely have to be Ji Yue.

Therefore, the thought of the possibility of her being with someone else was like a knife being plucked out of his heart, hurting him to the core.

Tong Lin’s hand that was writing the medical record paused for a moment, a little surprised by his answer, but he didn’t move on his face, “So, you’re afraid that she won’t like you if she knows about your illness?”

Ling Yuan nodded, “Yes. I don’t know if she will accept a me that is so imperfect.”

The teenager’s love was implicit and apprehensive, just like falling in love.