Chapter 172
Yang Yuyan had a lot of new things to say to Su Chunjun.
Because everyone else is in school and knows about it, only Su Chunjun doesn’t know about it, and he’s an excellent listener.
She chattered non-stop, the two sweeping a floor to nine o’clock, or Zhang Ma really can not stand to see her always holding a broom in front of the eyes, go up to the broom to take away the termination of her labor in the evening.
Zhang Ma held up the broom and said, “I’ll put it in front of the door for you, so you can see it as soon as you get up in the morning, and then you can sweep it again.” Kind and considerate, thoughtful to a fault.
Zhu Yanshu was talking to Prof. Dai on the side, and turned her head over to laugh at Yang Yuyan: “Look, how much Zhang Ma loves you.”
Yang Yuyan: “……”
She hangs her face, dragging the only person in the house who is hers: her fiancé Su, to the study room, where the two of them write their homework and continue to chat.
Yang Yuyan’s homework had a lot of Japanese homework, because she recently had to take at least one Japanese class every day, and Japanese teachers seemed to like assigning homework, she clearly remembered reading Chicken Soup for the Soul before that Japanese elementary school students didn’t write homework ah! It’s true that all the chicken soup is fake.
Su-fiancé-ex-home tutor picked up her homework book, saw that it was assigned to write a diary in Japanese, and said, “Let me help you write one.”
Yang Yuyan was overjoyed! Rushing to the door to take a look, she saw Zhu Yanshu in the living room and Yang Yucan in the kitchen, the situation was safe! So she gently covered the door of the study and came back to push the diary over, “Fine, fine, write quickly! Write three! Today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow!”
See how smart she is, solving three days of homework in one breath.
Su Chunjun did not have the slightest sense of indulgence for the students, and after opening the diary, he first read the content of the previous entry, in order to achieve a high degree of uniformity in content, which is very much the work ethic of a ghostwriter.
The diary is something that Yang Yuyan often writes. In the past, Zhu Yanshu liked to assign her a diary, and when she was pretending to be autistic in her hospital bed, Zhu Yanshu would bring her a diary and a pen and ask her to write a diary to express her feelings.
When Yang Yuyan was in school, the school psychologist also asked her to keep a diary to record her moods so that he could intervene in her case.
In a society where everyone is depressed, she felt it would be out of place for her to not have a disease given her family circumstances, and she definitely had more reason to be sick than any other student!
But the school psychiatrist said she was just “a little out of her depth,” as the saying goes.
That really doesn’t sit well with her! I have such a complicated family environment, just do not think through it!
However, regardless of whether the school psychiatrist works or not, but writing a diary to cure heart disease this trick she is familiar with, so at that time Zhu Yan Shu asked her to write a diary – of course she did not write ah.
If she did, what if she was exposed?
Although she felt that she and the original “Yang Yuyan” seemed to be fused together, but the fusion seems to be only feelings, but no knowledge. The things that “Yang Yuyan” had studied, read and learned were all a blur to her. Moreover, her feelings for Zhu Yanshu, Yang Yucan, and Zhang Ma, she felt close to them from the bottom of her heart, but when she wanted to be close to them, she would always think of her in a cold moment. But when she wanted to be close to them, she always remembered that she was not “Yang Yuyan”.
Only when she thought of “Yang Xuhe” could she feel the fire-like familiar hatred and anger.
She resented her father immensely, and “Yang Yuyan” also resented her father. The similarity of their situation made her feel the despair of “Yang Yuyan” in her body, and empathize with her.
Both of them were driven to desperation by their fathers. Their misfortunes originated from their fathers.
However, social education and common sense define the father as the protector of the family. The environment that deviates from common sense makes her hostile to the world.
She refused to keep a diary.
Zhu Yanshu waited for a few days and saw that the diary was empty, so she took out the diary written by Yang Yuyan and read it to her in front of her hospital bed.
Yang Yuyan: “……”
Although I didn’t write it myself, I always have a sense of being a part of it!
The things in it seemed especially like her, as if she had written it herself.
She hated that her big sister was always high up and loved to read, she hated that Zhang Ma was always in charge of her, and she wanted to be like Zhu Yanshu in the future, playing cards every day with no one to control her.
She hated how the girls at school showed off for each other, how the weather was always so hot and humid, and how she could only wear uniforms to school, and how she could only wear pigtails and not too many hair clips.
She wanted more dresses and skirts, like the movie stars wore in the pictorials.
She hated the tenants because without them the house would be a villa, and then she could invite her classmates over and have dances!
Yang Yuyan herself had envisioned that if she and her mom could move back into her dad’s big villa, she could ride in his limousine to school! She would be able to invite her classmates to the family villa.
She could also buy a lot of brand names and whatever she liked.
But that was all a dream when she was in elementary school. By the sixth grade she knew exactly how much her father hated her mother and her, and that they would never get back together.
“Yang Yuyan’s diary changed.
She hated the fact that her father was always with schoolgirls. The young girl’s delicate mind subtly sensed that it was not normal for her father to stay upstairs in the study with the schoolgirl, and that he might have revealed something with her in other parts of the house. They made coffee in the kitchen, they read a book enthusiastically in the living room. And so on.
Even if there was no hand-holding, no kissing, no sweet talk. But the closeness between the father and his schoolgirl trumped the father and her, and the rest of the family.
Love cannot be hidden.
Although you can’t see it, you will always know what position you hold in the other person’s heart, and if there is another person there, you can understand which is more important, you or him?
“Yang Yuyan began to curse the female student and her father in her diary. Almost every day, she curses the schoolgirl with malice and joy. Occasionally, she would bring her father along with her.
It is from these diary entries that Yang Yuyan gradually finds the resonance between the two of them. She began to be inseparable from “Yang Yuyan” and became one person.
Of course, this kind of private diary would not be written for everyone to see. Since Yang Yuyan was read her diary by Zhu Yanshu, she wrote her diary in two books, one for her work and the other for her own reading.
The one she used to fulfill her duties was the one she had to study.
Zhu Yanshu asked her to write a diary every day. Later, when Su Chunjun taught her classes, he also asked her to write in a diary every day, in English if she was learning English, and in Japanese if she was learning Japanese.
The diary was naturally devoid of any emotion, it was just a way to cope with the work and make up the word count.
Su Chunjun looked up the diary she had written earlier, but it was all a running account.
Because it was requested by her Japanese teacher, she wrote it in Japanese.
Monday: sunny, a little hot, I wore a single coat, worried about the wind, and brought a shawl.
The pickles for breakfast were too salty.
Tuesday: Sunny, still a little hot. I changed into a singlet and saw that there was no wind outside, so I didn’t bring a shawl.
The soup for lunch was too salty.
Wednesday: cloudy, not too hot, I was worried about the wind and added a thin wool sweater over my singlet.
Buns for dinner.
Su Chunjun read half of the book, all in this style to understand how to write.
He writes: Thursday, sunny, the weather is hotter, the cicadas are starting to chirp. Today’s dinner is wontons, my sister wrapped them, not too good, but I won’t tell her.
After writing and reading it, I felt pretty good about myself, so I went on to write about tomorrow.
I had to skip the weather description because I didn’t know what the weather would be like tomorrow.
On Friday, the flowers on the road were in bloom, I don’t know what they were, and they were wonderful. Breakfast was the same very salty pickle, I didn’t really like the taste of it, but it was edible.
Saturday, I’m happy to think that tomorrow is the weekend off! I hope that tomorrow morning I don’t have to drink congee and eat salted vegetables, I can still read leisurely for a while in the morning.
Su Chunjun wrote slowly and deliberatively word by word, surprisingly slower than Yang Yuyan who was writing math problems.
When the two finished their homework, Prof. Dai just happened to be going to the kitchen to fetch a midnight snack and came in to take a special look at them. He flipped through the diary and read the three new ones, completely unsurprised by the diary that took place in the future.
He smiled and said, “The three for today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow are a little more beautifully written, keep up the good work.”
Then he put down the diary and asked if they wanted some sweet soup.
Su Chunjun and Yang Yuyan, the two guys who didn’t know how to blush, said in unison, “Want some!”
Professor Dai smiled and went out to serve the sweet soup, and heard Yang Yuyan say to Su Chunjun behind him, “Aren’t you writing too well?”
Su Chunjun said seriously, “No, right? I even purposely controlled the word count, you see, didn’t even write too much.”