Chapter 083.

Fear has taken root in the hearts of adults, not seeing the sun, growing wildly.

Adults are wrapped tightly on the body that can not be seen, can not resist the wind and rain of the thin shell, carefully huddled up, every day are living with fear and trembling, like walking on thin ice.

***

The next day was Sunday.

On this day, Zhen Zhen and Shihua Ming did not go anywhere, and after breakfast, they packed up their things at home.

From upstairs to downstairs, from the yard to the kitchen, they cleaned and organized everything without missing a single corner.

Even the annual New Year’s Eve cleaning was never this meticulous.

The things that were out of place were put in front of the bed in the bedroom.

The curtains in the room were drawn tightly, and the room was lit with a slightly yellowish light.

Zhen Zhen and Servant Huai Ming stood in front of the bookshelf.

Zhen Zhen held her breath for a moment and spoke out, “Do you want to get rid of the books as well?”

She actually knew the answer in her heart, but she couldn’t help but ask.

Servant Huai Ming reached out to the bookshelf to take the books, those that could be left behind were put together, and those that could not be left behind were put together.

Those that couldn’t be left behind were placed on top of the writing table and piled up one by one.

After selecting the books, Mr. Huaeming looked at the bookshelf and said, “You can keep all these.”

He carried the books to the floor in front of the bed.

Zhen Zhen and Servant Huai Ming sat down on a small bench.

In front of them, in addition to the things they packed out, there was also a broken enamel basin that had lost a lot of porcelain.

Zhen Zhen reached out and took a book, turned it over in her hand and said, “Can’t even keep the Dream of the Red Chamber?”

Many of the books that were to be disposed of were ones that she usually liked to read, some of which she had read several times, and there were many traces on the pages of the books that she and Shui Huai Ming had gone through together.

Zhen Zhen’s eyes were full of reluctance as she flipped through Dream of the Red Chamber.

Shui Huaiming looked at her for a moment, and with a sigh of relief, softly said, “Why don’t you find a box to put it in, and find a place to put it away.”

Hearing this, Zhen Zhen stopped flipping through the book.

She lowered her head in silence for a moment, then shook her head and said, “No.”

After saying this, she let go of her hand and threw the thick book into the old enamel basin.

Servant Huai Ming looked at her for a while, and reached for the matchbox.

He pinched out a match from the matchbox, rubbed out the flame, put it on the corner of the book page, and ignited the yellowed paper that had long been turned over.

The pages caught fire, and tongues of flame licked up and quickly engulfed the entire book.

The rest of the book Zhen Zhen did not look at it again.

Even if you can’t bear to part with it, you can’t read it again, just throw it into the fire pit.

Not long after the room was filled with smoke, Zhen Zhen and Servant Huai Ming were choked and coughed from time to time.

After dealing with the books, the two of them began to deal with some of the clothes and shoes that they had packed up.

Servant Huai Ming usually wears civilian clothes very rarely, even when he is not in the unit, most of the time he wears a military uniform, so he does not have any clothes to deal with. What needed to be dealt with were Zhen Zhen’s clothes.

Zhen Zhen picked up the cheongsam and held her breath for a moment.

She packed out a total of two cheongsams from the cabinet, one is when she and Shi Huai Ming has not yet heart, Li Shuang take their own cheongsams according to her size altered out, one is after she gave birth to Danshui, Shi Huai Xia secretly wear her clothes to the burst, Shi Huai Ming in order to coax her to be happy, specially bought the silk to do for her.

Looking at it for a while, Zhen Zhen said with a sigh of relief, “Forget it, I don’t usually wear it anyway.”

After saying that, she threw the cheongsam into the basin and watched the beautiful fabric turn into ashes a little bit in the fire.

***

After taking care of everything, Zhen Zhen went to the window and pulled back the curtains to open the window, letting the choking smoke out.

She and Servant Huai Ming coughed twice and carried out the enameled pots that had cooled down.

When they arrived in the yard, Shi Huai Ming took a shovel and dug a hole in the vegetable garden.

As they watched Shi Huai Ming digging, Dan Sui Dan Tong and Xing Yu ran over to him and followed along with their own broken shovels.

Xingyu dug very hard and asked Shi Huai Ming, “Dad, what are you digging …… for?”

When he finished digging, he put down the shovel and said, “I’m burying some fertilizer in the ground.”

And what is buried is certainly not fertilizer, is the need to no longer be able to mention everything.

After pouring all the ash from the enamel basin into the pit and filling it with soil, it was over.

Dan Sui straightened up, cupping the small broken shovel in his hand, and asked out loud again, “Mom, where did Godfather and Godmother go? And brother Zi Ran and brother Zi Yan, they haven’t been home all day, and there’s paper on the door.”

Zhen Zhen answered Zhen Zhen in a relaxed tone, “Godfather has been assigned to work out of town, it may take a long time before he can come back, and Godmother has moved with brother Zi Ran and Zi Yan, they don’t live here anymore.”

Dan Sui asks again, “So where did they move to?”

Zhen Zhen looked over at her and smiled a little, “You wouldn’t understand if I told you.”

Dan Sui grunted defiantly, “Who said that? I understand everything now!”

As they were talking, Zhong Minfen came out of the kitchen.

She wiped a handful of water from her hands with her apron and spoke out, “All go wash your hands and get ready to eat.”

Zhen Zhen and Servant Huai Ming then took the children to wash their hands.

After washing their hands, they sat down at the table to eat, and Zhen Zhen gave Dan Sui, Dan Tong, and Xing Yu each a small spoon.

Dan Sui didn’t care to use a spoon anymore and put it down and said, “I want to use chopsticks, only little kids eat with spoons.”

Dan Tong and Xing Yu, the two little kids, couldn’t get around the situation and didn’t know who Dan Sui was talking about, so they ate their own food with their spoons.

Zhong Minfen pinched her chopsticks and ate two mouthfuls of rice, looking at Zhen Zhen and Serving Huai Ming and asking, “All taken care of?”

Both of them nodded at her, and Zhen Zhen said, “It was handled cleanly.”

Zhong Minfen sighed and lowered her head to eat without saying anything else.

Dan Sui still had Li Shuang on her mind.

She took a few bites of her meal and then looked at Zhen Zhen and asked, “Mom, can you take me to meet my godmother sometime?”

Before Zhen Zhen could say anything, Zhong Min Fen continued, “Spike, your godmother and their family moved away, so it’s not convenient to meet them in the future, so we’ll go out and mention your godfather and godmother less outside, okay?”

Dan Sui flashed her big eyes and asked, “Why?”

Zhong Minfen added, “Anyway, you should just listen to grandma.”

Dan Sui nodded, “Oh.”

Zhen Zhen lowered her head and drank the rare rice without making another sound.

The rare rice was sweet, but her heart was sour, astringent, and bitter.

***

Often recalling these years in her old age, there were only two words in Zhen Zhen’s mind – gray.

From the beginning of the summer of this year, the world seemed to have completely faded out of color, leaving only a miserable gray.

The children all said that the background of this era was red, and the streets and alleys were filled with red.

But Jen always remembered it as gray.

The streets were gray, and so was the sky.

To put it more concretely it was, like a black and white film with flickering snowflakes.

***

There were no more classes to be had at school, and Jen hadn’t been there since.

She also never went back to Squire Danling, college students were now the mainstay of the revolution and were busy every day.

After Li Shuang moved away, she was suspended again, not quarantined but subject to the same scrutiny.

Her workplace was vacant, so Zhen Zhen went to cover her absence.

Because the work unit is in the compound, Zhen Zhen usually do not go outside.

Although the compound was not quiet, and many people had their doors sealed, the outside was even more unsettled.

The revolution was in full swing, and the streets were filled with parades.

And as for what was happening outside, one could tell by reading the newspaper every day.

There was very little else in the paper anymore, most of the stories were about this.

Jen had also stopped writing articles, and was as careful with her words as anyone else.

Normally she didn’t come into contact with many people, other than a few people in her family, the one she came into contact with the most every day was Shizuku.

She and Shizuku went to work together, arriving at their shifts and working diligently, returning together in pairs at the end of the workday.

***

When it’s time to leave work, Jen picks up her bag and leaves with Shizuku.

It was summer vacation and Shizuku had sent her children back to her mother’s house, so the two of them didn’t need to pick them up.

The evening sun still burned the skin a little.

Jenny and Shizuku picked a shady spot to walk.

When no one was around, Zhen Zhen suddenly said, “I want to go see her.”

Shizuku froze for a moment and quickly realized who this she was that Jen was talking about.

Shizuku also wanted to see her, sometimes she dreamed of her, but she did have worries and concerns in her heart.

Silence for a while, Arwen looked at her and said, “You are not afraid ……” just said out and then stopped.

Zhen Zhen heart certainly also have concerns, but she said in silence for a moment, “Just suspended for review, and now there is no characterization to say what she is ……”

Shizuku couldn’t help but take a deep breath.

Lowering her head to look at the wall-shaded pavement.

***

Night.

The night is like ink and the moon is like water.

Jen pushes her way out of the courtyard gate and gently closes the door.

She walks with light footsteps and lowers her head towards the entrance of the alley.

When she walked to the entrance of the alley and looked back, she saw Shizuku also coming out of her yard.

The two of them in the alleyway companion on, who do not say anything, press the breathing and heartbeat, toward the northwest corner of the compound.

When they reached the northwest corner and saw the bungalows, they walked directly to the outside of the third bungalow and lightly knocked on the door.

Inside the low bungalow, He Ziran and He Ziyan had already fallen asleep.

Li Shuang eyelids are not sleepy, lying down also can not sleep, so lean on the bed wooden face daze.

When she heard the knocking on the door she thought she heard it wrong, so she didn’t pay much attention to it.

But then she heard two more, she slowly came back to her senses, straightened up and listened for a while.

Hearing that it was indeed a knock on her door, she got out of bed with light movements and walked to the door to open it carefully.

Opening the door to see Shizuku and Jen standing outside, she froze instantly.

But she was quick to react as well.

Quickly coming back to her senses, she let Shizuku and Jenjin inside and closed the door and whispered, “What brings you here?”

Arwen and Zhen Zhen also spoke in a low voice, “Came to see you.”

Seeing Li Shuang, they also saw her current living environment.

A shabby little bungalow of about ten square meters with a very short roof and cramped space.

Li Shuang looked very indifferent, “What’s there to see?”

Said and shooed them, “This is not the place for you to come, hurry back.”

Having come here, Zhen Zhen and Ah Wen naturally did not leave immediately.

They didn’t ask Li Shuang how she was doing, they directly took out the prepared envelope from their bodies and stuffed it into Li Shuang’s hand, saying, “Sister-in-law, you can accept this, and if you need anything else, you can talk to us again.”

What can be contained in the envelope, naturally money.

Li Shuang, of course, did not want it, and told Zhen Zhen and Ah Wen, “The compound also pays living expenses.”

Zhen Zhen grabbed her hand, her hand used strength, her tone was also unconsciously heavier, “How much living expenses are paid in the compound, don’t you think about yourself, also don’t you think about Zi Ran and Zi Yan? If you still consider us as friends, then accept it.”

Hearing the word “friend”, Li Shuang’s eyes instantly became wet.

She closed her eyes and lowered her head for a while to hold back her tears, and said in a slightly choked voice, “Thank you for still treating me as a friend, but I can’t let you all be affected… If you still treat me as your sister, then listen to me, and don’t ever come back to me again… …”

Ah Wen is the most crybaby, hearing Li Shuang say this, her tears fell down like strings of beads.

Zhen Zhen couldn’t help it either, pursing her lips, tears welling up in her eyes.

Li Shuang sniffled heavily.

She reached out to hug Wen, and then hugged Zhen Zhen.

Touching Zhen Zhen’s head as she hugged her, she told her, “Be good, be obedient, and don’t come back later.”

Zhen Zhen couldn’t hold back the tears that seized her eyes and spoke in a heavy nasal voice, “Then you take the envelope.”

Li Shuang was silent for a while, then choked and answered, “Uh, okay.”

***

Zhen Zhen and Ah Wen quietly come, and quietly go, in the bungalow but just stayed a few minutes.

Returning home and washing up as soon as they got into bed, Jen’s emotions hadn’t quite eased.

Sitting under the bedside lamp, Mr. Huai Ming looked at her and asked, “Have you been to see?”

Zhen Zhen lowered her head and answered, “Well, Wen and I gave her the money, and after a few brief words, we came out. She told us to draw a line with her and not to go back to her in the future, saying that she was afraid of implicating us and didn’t want us to be affected.”

Servant Huai Ming reached out and gathered Zhen Zhen into his arms, his palms gripping her shoulders tightly.

Zhen Zhen leaned against his shoulder, her eyes emptying, and said in a slow voice again, “Third Brother, do you think it will all be like this from now on?”

Servant Huai Ming didn’t know, but gently muffled his breath and said, “It won’t be.”

***

Will it be or won’t it be, that’s all for later.

Zhen Zhen and Wen listened to Li Shuang, and neither of them visited her again next.

But they would quietly send her things to eat and use, which was actually more affordable than money.

Once autumn arrived, the seasonal summer passed, but the weather was still very hot and dry.

The summer vacation was just half over, and this year’s summer vacation had already lost its meaning as a vacation.

There was no more school or classes, so naturally no one cared about these vacations.

Autumn Day.

The setting sun slopes down in the evening, shedding a tragic red color on the chicken coops.

Seeing Dan Sui Dantong and Xingyu playing like mud monkeys in the yard, Zhong Minfen spoke out and said, “Aiyo Hey, play clean ah, today is the beginning of Autumn, you can’t take a bath at night.”

Hearing this, Dan Sui immediately ran over and asked, “Why can’t you take a bath in Autumn?”

Zhong Minfen couldn’t explain and only added, “Anyway, you just can’t take a bath.”

Servant Danling sat next to her and glanced at Zhong Minfen, whispering, “Grandma, this is a feudal superstition and should not be practiced.”

Zhong Minfen suddenly froze at the words, looked at Shi Danling, also whispered, “This is also engaging in feudal superstition?”

Servant Danling nodded, and Zhong Minfen immediately pursed her lips.

The previous period of time has been busy, Servant Danling did not have time to come back.

Tonight, there was nothing important at school, and she just had something to say, so she took the time to come back.

She also just arrived here not long ago, accompanied Zhong Minfen has not yet sat for five minutes it.

She can’t say anything about this or that, so Zhong Minfen doesn’t say anything.

She glanced at the height of the sun and got up, “It’s almost time, I’ll cook.”

Servant Danling followed her and got up, “Grandma I’ll help you.”

***

Zhen Zhen and Wen returned from work draped in the setting sun.

Arriving home she smiled and greeted the three dolls playing in the yard.

After saying hello, she headed straight for the smoky kitchen, and as soon as she entered the kitchen door, she saw Squire Dan Ling.

The moment she saw Shi Danling, Zhen Zhen subconsciously froze for a moment.

Servant Danling was not different, smilingly greeted Zhen Zhen, “Third aunt, you’re back.”

Zhen Zhen was busy pulling up the corners of her mouth and nodded, “Uh, just got off work.”

Then she asked politely, “Why are you back? Isn’t school busy?”

Servant Danling replied, “Nothing much going on tonight, I came to check on you guys.”

Zhen Zhen smiled and nodded, “Oh, good.”

After saying that, she turned around and left the kitchen, heading towards the main house.

Servant Danling watched Zhen Zhen go out of the kitchen and lowered her head and pursed her lips.

She could certainly feel that Zhen Zhen’s attitude towards her had changed, and Zhong Min Fen was actually not quite the same as before.

They were now more polite to her, and were careful when they spoke, more like guests.

After the meal was ready, Mr. Huai Ming came back.

After all, he was not very close to her in the first place.

A lot of girls can’t even talk about how close they are to their own fathers, and it’s even worse with their uncles.

When they sat down to eat, except for the three dolls, the rest of them didn’t talk much.

Servant Danling was embarrassed, and squeezed out a voice and said, “I’m going to Kyoto in a few days.”

This was something that both Zhen Zhen and Servant Huai Ming also knew about.

Neither of them were surprised, and they nodded their heads officially in approval of Servant Danling: “That’s good.”

In the end, Servant Danling was not very old and couldn’t keep things taut.

She rice also a little bit can not eat, pinching chopsticks silent half a long time, put down the chopsticks and said in a low voice: “Am I …… not supposed to come here today ah?”

Hearing this, Zhen Zhen busy voice: “No ah, here is your home, you want to come when you want.”

Servant Danling looked at Zhen Zhen, then at Servant Huai Ming, and then at Zhong Minfen.

After another moment of silence, she asked, “Are you guys afraid of me?”

As a rule, it shouldn’t be, but it was the truth.

Zhen Zhen Zhong Min Fen lowered her head to eat, and Shui Huai Ming voiced out, “Of course not, we’re honorable, we’re not some kind of bulls, ghosts, snakes, and gods, why are we afraid of you?”

Servant Danling lowered her eyebrows and gently inhaled, looking at Zhen Zhen Servant Huai Ming and Zhong Min Fen again.

She calmed her tone and said, “I just wanted to come and tell you guys that I’m going to Kyoto with everyone in a few days. I’m full now, and I still have things to do at school, so I’ll go back first.”

Watching her get up, Zhong Minfen said, “You’ve only eaten a few bites and you’re full?”

Servant Danling looked at Zhong Minfen and said, “Grandma, I’m really full.” There was not a single bite left to eat.

Failing to keep Shi Danling, Shi Huai Ming had to send her back to school.

Serving Huai Ming rode his bike with her, and didn’t say much along the way. He sent her to the front gate of the school and waited for her to jump off the bike before telling her, “Take care of yourself at school, and let me know if you need anything at home.”

Servant Danling replied to him, “Take care of yourselves as well.”

The rest of the words were no more.

Servant Danling turned around and headed towards the school.

Servant Huai Ming stood outside and watched her walk through the school gates, holding his breath softly.

***

Riding back home, Squire Huai Ming sat down to finish his unfinished meal.

Zhen Zhen sat down next to him, silent for a while, said: “I also want to be like in the past and she said nothing, but really can not do it …… I do not want to be like this ……”.

Serving Huai Ming relieved her, “It’s okay, don’t think so much.”

Zhen Zhen propped up her arms to hold her face, looked at Servant Huai Ming and said, “It’s already the world of these kids now.”