Chapter 0562 – Special Red Clothes
”The recording of the call was made public, and the first person to find me was my teacher.”
”At around five in the morning, I was covering myself with my own jacket to catch up on my sleep in the lounge, and then I vaguely heard the sound of a door opening, but I was too sleepy at that time and didn’t take it to heart.”
”It wasn’t until noon when I opened my eyes that I realized my teacher was sitting at his desk in the lounge, flipping through Menlinger’s Man Against Himself, a study of the psychology of suicide.”
”The sun shone into the room and at the time I didn’t know what was going on outside, I just thought there was something strange about my teacher today.”
”He is the most senior counselor in our place, I was brought up by him, so no matter what, I will always call him a teacher.”
One could hear from the man’s tone that he respected his teacher.
”Your teacher told you about this? What was his attitude?” Chen Ge was a bit curious, if he wanted to have a good relationship with Red Clothes, he must find out his character and his obsession in life, and prescribe the right medicine to make him work for him willingly.
”He didn’t say a single word to me related to that incident, he just asked me a question.” The man looked at the dark night sky, “If one day, when he is standing on the edge of the building, how do I go about dissuading him?”
”I never thought about that, in my eyes Sensei is a very strong person mentally, this situation hardly ever happens in my opinion, I told him what I thought truthfully. If it did come to that, I would use everything I’ve learned on him and do everything I could to save him, and if that still didn’t convince, then I would respect his decision.”
”I’ve never felt that my job was sacred, I just felt that my job was very important, the same as those ER doctors. I will use my most conscientious attitude to help, but in the same way I will respect the patient.”
The man’s voice slowly lowered as he spoke, “My teacher smiled with satisfaction when he heard what I said, and as if he were an old friend of many years, he sat down next to me and said something to me.”
”He thought I was a wonderful person, his proudest student, but not a fully qualified suicide intervention operator.”
”My teacher had seen that I wasn’t in the right mood and he told me to get out more and empty my mind.”
”Suicide intervention operator is a very specific job, excluding those nuisance calls, each person receives an average of about twenty moderately dangerous calls and one to five urgently dangerous calls per night. With the continuous onslaught of emotions, the operators themselves are sometimes affected, depressed, and lose their voices with the other person, and every now and then you still have to tell yourself that you must calm down and convince the other person.”
”A person’s body is like a balloon filled with water, good, bad, and all kinds of emotions are injected into it, and if one is unable to do anything to regulate himself or herself, when the balloon blows up, that’s when a person completely breaks down.”
”As a suicide intervention operator, the brain is drenched in crying and grieving every night, and a lot of people leave after they’ve been working for a while, so I didn’t really understand what the teacher was saying at first.”
”When I was ready to ask again, the teacher tapped me on the shoulder and left, but the book he had just been flipping through stayed.”
”Then later I learned that my recording of that phone call had been posted online and I became the first suicide intervention operator to talk someone to death.”
”Countless people were trolling, and at that point I was actually quite calm.”
”What people say is irrelevant to me, I only recognize right and wrong.”
”In this respect, I was indeed a very stupid person, who would shed tears because of the stories of the help-seekers, who would talk to these strangers I didn’t know until dawn, who would cry with them, who would take on their roles, who would feel their pain.”
”I didn’t think of myself as a rescuer, but as their friend.”
The man’s expression was somewhat confused as he said these words.
But soon the confusion in his eyes was replaced by the color of blood, and scarlet blood seeped out from under his skin, “Before the outcome of this matter appeared, a new matter appeared.”
”Forcing a block on someone with a determination to die during a crisis intervention, even if they succeeded this time, they will most likely use an even more determined way to commit suicide next time.”
”In order to avoid this, so we sometimes allow them to make a controlled attempt, such as when there are life-saving air mattresses and ambulances and fire departments present, and we don’t try to forcibly stop the person from jumping if the floor is low.”
”I know it sounds hard to accept, but thinking about it from another perspective, very few people in this world can empathize, even biological parents have a hard time doing so, and hard discouragement most of the time backfires, it’s a sign of not understanding the other person’s pain.”
”Allowing them to try, on the other hand, is a form of respect, respect that can be felt and tangible.”
Hearing this, Chen Ge had gotten a bad feeling, “You wouldn’t have actually done that, would you?”
”I’ve done something like this during a live crisis intervention. It’s actually not as scary as you think, we tried it within the controllable range of the crisis. To give you another example, there was once a caller who tried to commit suicide by swallowing sleeping pills, he was so unstable that he couldn’t communicate at all, at that time I communicated with the police and got a low concentration of sleeping pills and let him make the attempt.”
”After experiencing death once, he made a big change and started living again.”
”I’ve had a lot of success, it’s just that this method sounds like it’s against our mandate. After the follow-up recording was made public, this method drew a public outcry.”
”I was clearly saving lives and everyone thought I was killing people.”
”I started to think about it, my teacher had also come over to me, and many of my friends had consoled me, but the crux of the matter was not in myself, but right, or wrong.”
The man looked about the same age as Chen Ge, but his voice sounded much more vicissitudes than Chen Ge’s, and he looked at the boundless blackness of the night for a long time in silence.
The expression on his face slowly became grim, then gradually returned to normal, and finally the corners of his mouth sketched out an indifferent arc.
”Maybe it’s true that I’m not a qualified suicide intervention operator, but those people I helped they did consider me as the last friend they could trust in their lives.” The man’s tunic was thoroughly stained red, the half blood red face shifting, “That’s something I didn’t realize until after I died, that I had so much hope pinned on me.”