Chapter 0563 – Ghost with a Shadow
A faint light lit up at the end of the dark night, but neither Chen Ge nor the man turned around to look.
”Did they pin all their hopes on you?” Chen Ge more or less understood why the man could turn red, his own resentment wasn’t too strong, but he had come into contact with countless dead people in his lifetime, and the most crucial thing was that those dead people treated him as the only one they could confide in.
All the negative emotions, all the sad memories, and all the regrets that could never be realized again, those dead people told all these things to the operator and accumulated them in his heart.
A qualified suicide intervention operator will know how to solve their own inner confusion, they see the human body as a conduit, too much accumulation of bad emotions, it will be clogged, so most of the time they do not dare to go to the depths of their thoughts, will be patient and persuasive when you get on the phone, but after hanging up the phone, you will never think about this matter again.
But the man in red on the other side of the tracks is different, he has been affected by the deceased, just like Chen Ge, he will act on behalf of them, pouring out his heart to persuade them, connecting his emotions with the other person.
He is the one who is truly kind to the help-seeker, but this is likewise a very dangerous thing to do.
By bringing himself into the desperate situation of the help-seeker, he is helping those who are standing next to the cliff, but he is also pushing himself to the edge of the cliff.
There is a limit to human tolerance, even professional psychological interventionists will have more or less psychological problems after years of practice, the man is in the midst of one rescue, before he has time to adjust his state, he is haunted by new confusions.
He reaches out and catches the suicides, but his own body is dragged a little bit into the abyss.
The man’s teacher had seen the problem, so he told him to empty his mind and get some rest, but the end result showed that he didn’t seem to be doing what his own teacher said.
He became the person he had helped countless times, a suicide intervention operator who chose to take his own life.
”Why go through with this? Death won’t solve anything.” Chen Ge wanted to go and persuade the man, but when he thought about the man’s occupation during his lifetime, he developed a very absurd feeling.
”I’ve considered all of what you said, after all, I’m the professional in this area alone.” The red clothes on the man’s body oozed blood, he was completely different from the other Knight Ghosts, his eyes looked towards the light in the distance, he seemed to like light very much.
”The reasons for suicide can probably be classified into a few, one is when people have cognitive bias towards the world, life, and their surroundings, he will look at everyone around him with a purely gray gaze, believing that living is a painful thing to do, my death does not fall into this category.”
”The second is when a person develops guilt or a sense of guilt about something, they will act impulsively, I obviously don’t fall into this category either.”
”The third is for revenge, using their death to make someone else regret their death, which doesn’t match my case either.”
”There can be dozens of reasons for suicide broken down, but I don’t belong to any of them, and I should be considered a rather special suicidal person.”
”In fact, I’ve been convincing myself that I’ve rescued so many people, but when it’s my turn to rescue myself, I suddenly realize that the power of words pales a bit.”
”Writers, paradise dolls, cancer patients, the three of them represent three different personalities and attitudes to life, I lamented their departure, I hated my own powerlessness, and I hoped from the bottom of my heart that they could live!”
”I tried desperately to persuade them, but after really listening to their voices, I would realize that they all had reasons for leaving.”
”Sometimes I envy doctors who can save their patients if they prescribe the right medicine, but my job is different and I can’t let them use it even if I know that relief is a medicine for them.”
”I put myself out there when everyone on the internet attacked me, and it was a public execution, only without the gore.”
The man’s demeanor stayed calm, “A lot of people said I was sick, crazy, an executioner, and was indirectly killing people, when in fact I was just trying to help.”
The bright light was getting closer in the distance, and the man stood next to the railroad tracks with no intention of hiding.
”Who are the people who haven’t seen death, who haven’t experienced that kind of heart-rending pain, to point fingers? And what reason is there to put on an air of superiority?” As the bright light approached, the man’s speech became faster, and blood continued to seep out of his forehead, staining half of his ever-changing face, “I only completely understood this when I stood up again from the pool of blood, and that section of my life that was so desperate and despairing to the point of suffocating flooded into me, and I finally understood them, and why those who had once lived had made such a ridiculous choice .”
The man’s eyes were bloodshot, his face no longer calm, his voice growing more and more frantic.
”I did everything I could to heal them, and maybe I could make them better at releasing love while improving their ability to find it and absorb it, but I couldn’t change the concentration of love in the midst of the environment they were in. So many people will continue to go back to that after a successful crisis intervention because the circumstances of their personal lives have not been changed, the bullied person becomes exposed to cold violence, the isolated child has a harder time making friends, and it is not me, the suicide intervention operator, but an individual around them who can really save them.”
”After getting to know most of them better, you realize that it’s actually some of the people around them who are truly hateful, those who paint the world of the suicidal person gray with the paintbrush in their own hands, who are the real culprits!”
”Yet even if the rescuers die, those who killed them will not show any semblance of sadness; instead, it will be their loved ones who love them the most who will suffer unbearably.”
”Is that fair?” The man looked at the speeding train and slowly raised his hands, “I only realized these things after I died, in fact, many of the dead regretted it, but they no longer had the chance to start over, and could only put all their obsessions on me, so that I could help them get justice.”
”Justice? What are you going to do?” At this instant, Chen Ge felt a bone-chilling killing intent from the man, and he understood that the man had completely blackened after all the things he had gone through.
”For example, cleaning out the garbage that only knows how to greedily ask for love but is unable to release it, so that no more good people will suffer.”
The man’s word was “those”, and he wanted to solve not one or two, but many.
Compared to the other reds, this man’s cruelty and tyranny was hidden in the deepest part of his heart.
”Calm down first, I think there should be a better way.” Chen Ge took a step backward, calling out Zhang Ya’s name in his heart.
”This is not my decision alone, but the wish of all of them.”
Blood churned as the light from the head of the train illuminated the wasteland, and in the moment the light crossed, Chen Ge saw figures standing densely behind the man.