Part 4 The Undead Chapter 183 The Other “I”
Without waiting for Klein to respond, Azik, gazing into the depths of the mausoleum, spoke down to himself:
”I remember the first time I died and came back to life, lying in a sea of pale corpses, staggering to my feet, terrified, not knowing what had happened or where I was.
”I stumbled and fled from there before the churchmen collected the bodies for purification, traveling like a wandering soul through wilderness, countryside and city, unable to remember who I was or where I came from.
”During that time, wherever I went, I heard the sound of numerous cries, saw the priests officiating at a great number of burials, and felt only sadness pervading every nook and cranny.
”Then, by chance, I saved a noble girl and entered her family’s estate; she was a sunny and cheerful girl, while I was like a beast out of the forest, at once sensitive, suspicious, inferior, fearful, and at times displaying a cold, indifferent, cruel, and inhuman morality.
”She was curious about me, no matter how much I avoided her or did bad things, she would come close to me, infecting me with her smiles and influencing me with interesting things, and without realizing it, I got used to her teasing got used to her presence.
”We came together quietly, she was worried, afraid that her father would not approve of her marrying a past tramp now a servant.
”Watching her smile tinted with sadness, for the first time I had a feeling that my blood was boiling, and impulsively told her that I was going away, but would return with a knighthood and a wreath for my bride.
”I went to the army, I became a knight, I raised my three-meter riding lance and charged the enemy, becoming a baronet with my own fiefdom in the chaos that remained in the Northern Continent at the end of the Fourth Age.
”I followed my promise and took my bride with the king’s edict, the family crest, the knight’s ribbon, and a wreath of my own braiding.”
Speaking of this, the expression on Azik’s face gradually softened, as if he was reminiscing and remembering something, even the corners of his mouth unconsciously curled up.
Klein’s heart stirred as he listened, seeming to see the familiar one, Mr. Aztec, again.
”And then?” He was careful to be guided.
Azik eyed ahead and said:
”Later …… later, we built a castle in our own fiefdom, and had a child, which was a boy, grew up quickly, and it was foreseeable that he would grow tall and stout in the future.
”He loved to fight and was always running around dragging a broadsword, saying he wanted to be a knight.
”I thought it was just a child’s momentary hobby, it was hard to stick to it, but he still didn’t give up practicing even when he broke his legs and bumped his head, he thought I wouldn’t be able to see it when he hid in his room with his expression twisted and covered his wounds, heh, he underestimated his father too much, and the whole spirit of the territory was secretly working for me.
”Year after year passed, I recovered more and more memories, my wife has been complaining that the castle is too gloomy, want to go to the sunshine and warm place, I satisfied her request, but until a long time later, I did not understand, she is not hate to live in the castle, but is afraid of the changes that are happening little by little in me, afraid of the more and more grim and unfamiliar me.
”She said nothing of these things to me, and continued to spend time with me as she had done in the past, and we had a wonderful life by the sea in the south, and even tried to have another child, but unfortunately it did not work out.
”It wasn’t until I had a feeling that my next death was approaching that we returned to the fiefdom and to the castle.
”My oldest son, the boy, told me that he wanted to travel to Berkland and become a squire to the Viscounts and Counts and start his own path to knighthood.
”I asked him why he was making such a choice at the age of ten or so. He answered me because I was his idol and role model, and he wanted to become a knight and a noble like me by relying on myself instead of my mother and father.
”At that time, I had already recovered most of my memories and was always a bit awkward, rusty and uncomfortable when I faced this child, but when I heard his answer, I still felt an indescribable joy, satisfaction and pride in my heart, this was my child, a completely different child from those bloods I left behind in the Byron Empire.”
Klein knew that Mr. Aztec was referring to his status as the “First Baron Ramrod”, and that the child who had made him so proud and contented had been poisoned and murdered, nailed to death in a coffin in his old age or middle age, and even his skull had been taken from him by Ince Zangwill.
Azek’s eyes went into a trance for a moment and said:
”Once again I died, woke up in a muddle, instinctively turned away from the fiefdom, and wandered, by prearrangement, elsewhere, and in the preceding part of each life and each time I had a different life, sometimes encountering sweet love, sometimes acquiring daughters to be pampered, and again and again the heartfelt fondness, helplessness, and contentment staggered me as I gradually recovered my memory , puzzled, conflicted.
”There was a time when I was a filial son, bringing pride to my parents bringing a good life bringing lovely grandchildren and grandchildren, but when I ‘woke up’ and found myself, I remembered that at the end of my last life, I disregarded the fact that their real son died in the battlefield to take that identity over, and I On the one hand, I felt pain and guilt, on the other hand, I thought it was nothing, just a small thing, and I seemed to split into two people inside.
”At that time, I had a mask that could make me into anyone, but lost it after an awakening, which I probably lost of my own accord ……”
Klein remembered the daughter Mr. Aztec had mentioned who liked to ask him for candy, and after a moment’s deliberation, spoke up:
”I don’t think that you are so much internally divided as you are struggling with insanity.
”The you who has started a new life over and over again after losing the memories of your past is kind, passionate, and possessed of a wealth of emotions, and the closer you get to your current life the more this should be reflected.
”This may be the real you, the essential you, while the you of the ‘Death Consul’ period has been affected by the out-of-control tendencies embedded within the extraordinary traits, and by that Shinigami’s passing down from the high places, and I’ve heard that k has gone insane after the ‘Battle of the Four Emperors ‘ has gone mad after that.”
Klein didn’t really have much to go on with these words, since there were only so many parts of Azk’s life that he knew about – Baron Ramrod, the father who made his daughter a swing set, the dutiful child, and the gentle, friendly history teacher.
His purpose was to offer a guess, a possibility, to help Mr. Aztec to fight against the “consul of death character” that came back with his memories, so that he could face himself in his past life, and in this way make some kind of reconciliation with himself and become less cold.
As he spoke, he suddenly had a new idea, and without waiting for Azk to finish digesting what he had just said, he hurriedly asked again:
”Mr. Azik, do you know about anchors? The anchors by which the gods and angels immobilize themselves from being dragged down by extraordinary traits of out-of-control tendencies and insane essences?”
”Know.” Azik withdrew his gaze and nodded.
Klein wasn’t too sure, but said in a rather certain tone:
”Perhaps the new life you have opened up by losing your memories over and over again is your anchor against madness and loss of control!”
Don’t throw them away, don’t forget them, it’s who you are! After saying this, Klein mentally added.
”Anchor ……” Aztec repeated the word with a look that seemed thoughtful and confused.
After an unknown amount of time, he suddenly sighed and said:
”This may be an explanation that at least makes the division and conflict on the level of my mind less intense.
”However, since I have already come this far, I still have to go to the depths of the mausoleum to see what is hidden there, why is it calling me, and what has caused me to die and come back to life over and over again, and to lose my memories and gradually retrieve them ……
”This has plagued me for over a thousand years, plagued my life over and over again, and I think I should be able to get an answer today.”
His gaze became clearer a little, his tone seemingly soft but with an indescribable firmness.
Klein wanted to stop, but his mouth opened and then pursed.
Azik pressed the half-height silk bowler hat on his head without a sideways glance and smiled gently:
”Remember to close your eyes.”
With that said, he walked forward, up the flight of steps to the depths of the shadowy mausoleum.
The black fog that filled the area didn’t let out another gasp, and slowly dispersed in all directions, and the illusory thing that was perched at the bottom presented itself a little bit.
It was a feathered serpent so huge that it seemed to be able to occupy an island!
It had huge scales that were dark and green, and between the cracks there was a feather that was dyed with yellowish oil, and on top of each feather, there was an illusory black thin tube extending out.
This exaggerated feathered serpent was both illusory and real at the same time, its more specific shape indescribable, and seemingly of a composition incomprehensible to humans.
Its eye sockets burned with pale flames, and its face was that of a human!
With its bronze complexion, soft features, and a tiny black mole below its right ear, that face was just like another Aztec Aegis!