Chapter 41 Sun Simiao says locusts are a good thing

“People often say that locust plagues are a punishment from heaven for the emperor’s failure to cultivate virtue. What does your master think about this?” Li Er hesitated for a long time before finally asking the question he most wanted to ask.

“Nonsense!” Yun Ye knew that he had to be in complete agreement with Li Er on this issue, or his life would be in danger.

“Is that what your master said?” It seems that this question has hurt Li Er deeply, and he plans to find theoretical support from Yun Ye.

“Your servant will speak, but you must not kick me.” Yun Ye felt that he had been unlucky these days, and that everyone wanted to kick him. Could it be that Lao Tzu’s butt was more comfortable to kick? In order to build Li Er’s confidence, he inevitably had to speak in a vulgar manner. He first gave him a shot in the arm to prevent him from being beaten again.

Li Er twisted his feet on the ground and said with a smile, “Let’s see what happens.” He still had no intention of sparing Yun Ye. Li Chengqian looked at Yun Ye in admiration, and the only person who could speak to his father in a consultative tone was the one in front of him.

“To ask about the relationship between the locust plague and the emperor, you must first know what the sky is.” Yun Ye saw Li Er’s pupils shrink visibly. This touched the very foundation of his rule. He called himself the emperor.

Ignoring him, Yun Ye continued, “Since the beginning of recorded human history, this world has been filled with gods and demons. Not only us, but all civilizations on earth are the same. We worship all kinds of gods and make all kinds of grand vows, but none of them work. Some miracles are merely man-made, such as the black dragon that appeared when Qin Shi Huang worshiped the heavens at the Wei River, the white snake that Liu Bang killed on the road, the fox that appeared in Daze Xiang, and the strange words that appeared in the Eastern Han Dynasty, “The sky is dead, and Huang Tian should be established.”

“Your Majesty has conquered the world through a hundred battles, and your nature is as solid as a rock. Your sword points at the heavens, and all evil spirits flee. The Great Tang’s cavalry is invincible, and Your Majesty holds the most terrifying power in the world. But why are you so worried about being bothered by a small locust? My teacher once said, what is heaven? Heaven is the general term for power. Every god has the power to overturn the seas and rivers, and all have a dignity that makes people afraid to look directly at them. Does Your Majesty not have these things? Your Majesty has implemented benevolent policies, and the world has fallen in love with you. It is like a great river with a source, or a giant tree with deep roots. Although there are high mountains and dangerous obstacles, and although there are storms and violent winds, what is there to fear? Master the power, use the power well, and Your Majesty will be invincible. As for the insects, just catch them. When the locusts have not yet formed wings, mobilize the military and civilians to catch them, and then sell them to me. Five catties of locusts for one penny, no cheating for young and old!

“Pop!” A dragon claw hit him on the forehead. Li Er was furious. He was listening to the passionate speech and nodding frequently, thinking that every word and every sentence was deeply pleasing to the emperor. Since heaven is power, and the emperor is the son of power, why not? The Three Emperors and Five Emperors were all immortals, so why couldn’t I be an immortal in the future? Just when he was about to listen to it more, he heard the merchants’ transactions, how could he not be angry?

“What has become of the noble young man? He speaks like a merchant, thinking about money everywhere, and a good essay is made into a philistine by you. Did your master teach you this?”

“The first part was said by my master, and the second part was thought by me. I don’t know why, but it just came out of my mouth.”

My forehead is all red. Is it easy to be a small official? You want to be the number one person in the world. You are already the number one person in the world. I tell you that the people are the most powerful people. Your power comes from the people? The people are your heaven? Although you said, “Water can carry a boat and can also overturn a boat,” you said that when you were in your thirties. Who knows if your current understanding is as profound as that? If not, order me to be beheaded. Who can I go to for justice?

“Aren’t you worried that the acquisition of locusts will bring down the wrath of heaven?” Li Er came back to his senses and was more interested in Yun Ye’s proposal to acquire locusts.

“Your Majesty, I have eaten countless locusts, and now I am still well-paid and well-promoted, and I don’t even have nightmares at night.” He had just been beaten, so he was a little impatient.

“Xiao Ye, you eat locusts?” Li Chengqian grabbed his neck and looked like he was going to vomit.

“Yes, fried, braised, stir-fried, or if that doesn’t work, baked on a tile, remove the legs and wings, and it’s delicious!” When it comes to locusts, Yun Ye thinks of the insect banquet he ate in Yunnan. Without asking the name of the ingredients, everyone was eating happily. When asked the name, a few people vomited. Yun Ye seemed to have a wildman’s bloodline, and he alone finished off a large dish of chicken prawns, so intoxicated that he couldn’t extricate himself. The chicken was locusts.

Li Chengqian watched Yun Ye’s intoxicated appearance and shuddered, moving far away from the door.

Li Er was much stronger than his son: “Do you buy locusts to eat them yourself? How do they taste?”

“Your Majesty, I can only eat so much by myself. It is the king’s way to mobilize everyone to eat together. The locusts taste like chicken, but they are much more delicate. They are a rare delicacy in the world. Anyway, there will be a lot of these in June this year. After I cook them carefully, please try them with the crown prince.”

“Oh!” Li Chengqian ran away.

He really couldn’t stand this inhuman conversation.

Li Er was overjoyed, laughing heartily and saying, “I’m waiting for you to make locust dishes. If we can turn a disaster from heaven into a blessing from heaven, then the saying that locusts are a punishment from heaven will become the biggest joke. I’m waiting for that day.”

“So you are promising to sell the locusts that the military and civilians caught to me for one coin?” Yun Ye took the opportunity to drum up support. How could he miss the chance to get rich?

“Approved, no, you’re not going to use locusts to get rich, are you? Come on, tell me, I’ll help you figure it out.”

Li Er immediately turned into the kind-hearted uncle next door who wanted to help Little Red Riding Hood, but he couldn’t hide the wolf’s tail behind his back.

“You don’t know, as long as the locusts are boiled in boiling water and then dried, ground into a powder in a mortar, it is the best protein supplement. Protein is the same as the part of chicken protein. It can be used as medicine. If taken regularly, it can prevent wind-induced diseases, treat asthma, and regulate blood vessels. If young children take locust powder together with rice paste, it can treat infantile convulsions, convulsions, and night crying. Most importantly, it can treat night blindness.”

Li Er looked at Yun Ye as if he were a monster, and after a long time, he came back to his senses and asked, “What is night blindness?”

“It means that most people in my country can’t see clearly at night. This is related to eating too little meat. If you take locust powder regularly, it will effectively change your physique.” Yun Ye was like pouring beans from a bamboo tube, saying whatever came to mind.

Poor Li Er was again knocked out of his senses: “How do you plan to sell your locust powder? The people probably won’t agree.” It took him half a day to find the weakness of Yun Ye’s business plan.

When it comes to military affairs, a hundred Yun Ye are no match for Li Er, but when it comes to making money in the Tang Dynasty, a hundred Li Er are no match for Yun Ye.

The crosstalk performer Feng Gong put it so well: “In the crosstalk world, I am the best singer, and in the singing world, I am the best crosstalk performer. Anyway, I am always number one.” This is brilliant! It is used to deal with Li Er and is always effective.

“In order to eradicate the locust plague, Your Majesty must not mind taking the lead in consuming locust powder.”

Before he could finish speaking, Li Er said, “Since I have taken it, it is only right that the officials take it as well. Since the officials have taken it, it is only right that the wealthy take it as well. Since the wealthy have taken it, it is only right that the common people…” Li Er’s expression was blank, and his words had no inflection.

“Your Majesty is right, that’s it, but it’s not complete. The business plan is to minimize all conceivable risks. Therefore, I know Sun Simiao, and Mr. Sun said that locusts are really a good thing…”

There was no movement in the room for a long time. Li Chengqian peeked through the crack in the door and saw his father’s face turning pale. He pointed at Yun Ye and cried out in grief, “My poor people of the Tang Dynasty!”