Section 35. The wisdom of a clown

Yun Ye sat on the top of the Taiji Palace surrounded by lightning, and with the dark sky and the thunder, he looked like a god from heaven.

If he could just strike a few poses like a giant ox and shout a few more times, he would be perfect.

Unfortunately, his legs were weak, his whole body was weak, and his crotch was still wet. Not to mention that he couldn’t stand up, even if he could, he wouldn’t. Could there be a fairy with a wet crotch?

He regretted it and smashed his chest. What kind of immortal is he pretending to be? Lightning was raging just a dozen meters above his head, and the thunder was so loud that he couldn’t hear anything. Especially when he thought about the probability of lightning rods protecting against lightning in later generations, it was 97% of the time that they were a scam. How many people in the Celestial Dynasty had died in the legendary 3%? Yun Ye prayed secretly that Li Er’s spear would act as a magic weapon to protect his life.

Seeing Yun Ye, who was as weak as a chicken in the lightning and thunder, Li Er inexplicably felt a sense of pity. The situation Yun Ye was facing at the moment reminded him of the time when Qing Que was chased by the hunting dogs of the prince’s family when she was a child, but she endured without crying. He was a little angry, a little moved, and a little humiliated. Looking at the powerful men of the Shandong noble family, the chill in his eyes grew stronger and stronger.

Changsun Wuji, Fang Xuanling, and others couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Yuchi Laosha looked at the lightning-filled iron spear and couldn’t figure it out. His Majesty’s spear had been used by him himself. Apart from being made entirely of iron, there was nothing outstanding about it. Why could it bless Yun Xiaoyi and keep him safe?

Yuan Zhi fell to the ground and cried out, “Your Majesty, the majesty of the emperor is still here, and thunder cannot disturb it, nor can lightning add to it. I congratulate you, Your Majesty.”

The ministers finally came to their senses and immediately knelt down and shouted, “Long live Your Majesty!” The guards, eunuchs, and palace maids outside the palace also bowed in great respect, filling the palace with the sound of congratulations for His Majesty.

People are blindly obedient, especially when it comes to unprovoked congratulations. Yun Ye rode on the roof of a house, high up, so he could see far away. He saw the citizens of Chang’an all coming out of the market, looking at the palace, overjoyed, as if their emperor’s prestige was so great that he could drown all the locusts with a single piss.

The five noble families were pale with fear, knowing that the matter was not as Yuwen Shiji had said, but had another reason. They could not find a single flaw. The boy who had climbed onto the roof was trembling there, and Lu Shou was gasping for breath on the rockery. The lightning in the sky and the dull thunder seemed to be interested in Li Er’s spear, but they turned a blind eye to the scourge that was climbing the roof so close at hand.

Lu Shou gasped for his last breath and shouted, “Oh, heavens! Are you blind?”

With these words, he sent the five noble families to hell.

Defaming the heavens? Especially in front of the son of heaven, this is pure trouble. In addition, the court officials were about to catch you by the pigtail, worried that there was nowhere to start. Now, there were witnesses and evidence. The eldest son, Wu Zixuan, smiled and let the guards take down the old men who were disrespectful to heaven and slandered the royal family. The family heads, who were usually treated like honored guests everywhere, did not resist, and they were obediently captured. No one looked at Lu Shou, who was lying on the rockery, not knowing whether he was alive or dead.

After everything was settled, the clouds dispersed and the sun rose. The strange clouds did not bring down a single drop of rain, which was also something that Yun Ye was very dissatisfied with. Without rain, how could Laozi cover up the fact that he had peed his pants?

“Kid, what are you still doing on top of it? Get off it!” Li Er shouted.

“I can’t get down, my legs are weak!”

The whole court laughed heartily, and Li Er couldn’t help but laugh too.

Yuchi Lao Sha climbed up the ladder and onto the roof, picked up Yun Ye, and saw that the place where he had been sitting was wet. He looked at his pants and laughed like a spasm. While he was still catching his breath, he loudly said to the ministers, “Hahaha, this kid is so scared that he peed his pants, hahaha.”

The laughter that had just subsided became frantic again. Some covered their stomachs, some slid down the wall, and some wiped their tears and snot while laughing incessantly. Even the eunuch who was serving next to him laughed with his mouth open. The palace maid who had been lectured by Changsun and was not allowed to laugh was also holding a canopy and laughing on the ground.

The helpless Yun Ye was held in the hands of the old fool Yuchi, and he just let them exhibit.

Just forget the scene where Lao Tzu just showed off his awesome power.

Laughter is perhaps the most effective way to bring people closer together. Just now, they were amazed at Yun Ye’s magical abilities, but now they only feel that it is a childish prank. There is no surprise left, only kindness.

“Not bad, just yesterday you finished talking and you already accomplished a great feat, but you have to be rewarded by the Empress, I can’t control that.” Li Er glanced sideways at Yun Ye’s wet crotch.

“What about my ten thousand taels of silver?” Yun Ye only hoped that the emperor would not take his money this time. He still needs to build a house, and Lao Li has said this several times.

“That was an agreement they made before they violated the law. They will give you every penny. They’ve already pissed their pants, and they’re still thinking about your money? A kid who is born to be money-hungry and not life-hungry.”

Li Chengqian followed him to his east palace to bathe and change clothes, and took Li Tai, who was covering his nose, away.

“Brother Ye, why aren’t you afraid of thunder and lightning? Oh, you’re afraid because you peed your pants. I mean, how do you know that my father’s iron spear will absorb the thunder and lightning?” Li Tai asked in a hoarse voice, still refusing to take his hand away from his nose.

“Do I stink? Cover your nose again and I’ll send you to the roof to be struck by lightning next time.”

Li Tai quickly lowered his hand. He was not afraid of his older brother, but he was really afraid of Yun Ye. Last time, he only made Xiaoya cry, and the next day he gave himself a huge pointed wooden bucket. Carrying water was more unbearable than death. In addition, Li Ke was not so easily fooled anymore. He firmly disagreed with putting the bucket on the side close to him. It was strange that there were fewer and fewer fools in the academy, and ordinary tricks no longer worked. Even Yuchi Dasha began to be difficult to fool.

Lying in the huge bath in the East Palace, Yun Ye buried his head in the water and let a bubble form. Then he came out, and Li Chengqian was lying next to him. Li Tai was studying whether the body or the bathtub drained the water more, over and over again. This kid, hopeless.

“Yezi, do you think we can survive this plague? Guanzhong is the foundation of my family. I think my father is taking a risk with the family business, and it may not be worth it.”

“Do you know why your father was able to defeat countless enemies and eventually achieve the imperial throne?” Yun Ye asked him after taking a sip of the grape wine.

“Of course, my father is a great man of talent and wisdom, how can we compare to him?” Li Chengqian admired his father very much.

“Some of these things are innate, but most of them come from one’s own understanding. Have you noticed that as long as your father has a 70% chance of winning, he will immediately implement it without hesitation. There is no such ridiculous thing as a 100% guarantee in this world. If one day you have this feeling, then you should be on your guard, because danger is close at hand. When you are knocking beans and your teeth are about to fall out, don’t say that you are dealing with a human being, such a terrible creature. If you are absolutely sure, it is likely that your enemy is giving you false information to make you relax your guard, and he will attack you from an unexpected place.

Li Chengqian has always been good to himself, teaching him a little bit if he can. Whether he can understand it is his own business. He doesn’t force it. In history, he thought he had a full grasp of rebellion, but who knew that he had fallen into his father’s trap early and could not extricate himself.