Chapter 101 Car Accident

After returning to Beijing, we in Beijing’s old “delicious Zhai”, held the second Peterborough Party Congress, the meeting in the fat man ate three plates of old Shanghai oil-blasted shrimp, successfully passed the resolution to go to Yunnan to fight.

Fatty wiped the oil on his mouth and said to me: “I say old Hu, Yunnan is a good place ah, I was flying in the sky by the golden bird of the section of the stimulation is not light, I have long wanted to go over to the meeting of that group of burning passionate flame of love of the minority girls.”

I said to the fat man: “Yunnan is not as good as you think, the minority girls are not all flowers peacock, anyway, I went to Yunnan before I have not seen a few decent, then our troops are deployed not far from the border Laojun Mountain, where a month of combat exercises, that place is the Hani, Yi, Zhuang Autonomous Region’s crossroads, a lot of ethnic minorities, I see with the Vietnamese also look similar. Look with the Vietnamese also look similar, what five golden flowers Ashima what, that all belongs to the movie and television drama art processing, can not do really, you still do not hold too much fantasy, otherwise you will be very disappointed.”

Dajinya said, “What? Master Hu, you go to that place is probably the ravine, when I went to Yunnan insertion, proper have seen a lot of beautiful Dai Jingpo chicks, a top of the slim, that small waist, tsk, simply …… this to marry back a, this life is even contented.”

Blind ate almost, listened to our words, a slap on the table and said: “Gentlemen good man, that the razor woman in Yunnan, there is very rare, but also the Miao people in the hidden compulsion woman, they are driven by the love of compulsion poisonous and insidious, indefensible, you and so on or less to mess with those women for the better.”

Dajinya nodded to: “This is also reasonable, I went to Yunnan, I heard that this many ethnic minorities, it is the Miao people will be the most parasites, and this Miao people are divided into flower seedlings, green seedlings, black seedlings and so on, green seedlings are proficient in medicinal herbs and insects, black seedlings are good at raising parasites and poison, the two groups of people themselves are also potential into a water and fire, and now the black seedlings are already almost extinct, but in case of If one invites on the Compass Woman among the Miao women, it can really teach one a headache.”

Fatty laughed: “Lao Jin, you also underestimate the charm of our buddies, Miao women do not have Za’s even finished, as long as there is, I have to sniff back to you a few can not be, at that time we are still this location, a person to send you a Miao honey.”

I drank a little too much, the tongue began to hair short, hooked the fat man’s shoulders to joke about him: “Let that old woman of the old compulsion of the seventy years, see the fat master you this body bladder meat, non-motherfucking your stinking skin peeled down taut drums can not be, we go to that place this time is the most white people, the white girls can be good ah, long white.”

Shirley Yang today’s appetite is also good, from her ancestor half count words, her hometown should be in the area of Jiangsu and Zhejiang, so this restaurant in the Huai Yang dishes are very much to her taste, just see me and Fatty with the big gold teeth and other people together, plus a blind man, talking, the topic is always not away from the minority girls in Yunnan, with these people also have no choice but to go along with the flow, the last really can not stand it! After Shirley Yang reminded me, I was able to get out of the room and I was able to get out of the room.

After Shirley Yang a reminder, I just remembered, there are serious things to say, the wine is reduced by three points, then raised his glass to the crowd and said: “Comrades, tomorrow, I and Fatty, Shirley Yang will depart for Yunnan, this go to the mountains and far away, this go to the guns like forests and bullets like rain, this go to the revolutionary burden on the shoulders, I do not know how long to come back, but a man’s man, should be a man of honor, and should be a man of honor. But the man, should aspire to go everywhere, riding a horse with a gun to go all over the world, Gorky said, stupid sea ducks are not worthy of enjoying the fun of fighting, Chairman Mao said 10,000 years is too long, only strive for a day and a half, at this moment the good night and wine at the moment, we are now able to get together, we should cherish every minute and every second, and so on our triumphant return when we then set up a banquet, raise a glass of praise for the heroes. ”

The people also raised their glasses at the same time, in order to wish us a smooth journey to clink glasses, the big gold teeth drink up the cup of wine, a hold my hand and said: “Master Hu, I really want to go with you to Yunnan, but this body can not afford to toss, to go to you to add a burden, you just said that, said I want to fall tears, or I will give you to sing a section of the ten send the Red Army how? ”

My heart is also very moved, said to the big gold teeth: “Master Jin said this, can appear to be between our brothers are born, we go to Yunnan, thanks to you in the rear of the equipment, which is our success guarantee ah, you can rest assured, pour out of the Ming ware, half of my half, there is half of your half.”

Dajinya bought and did not buy the equipment and I said a little, I and Dajinya and Shirley Yang three people, discussing the need to bring what things, one side of the fat man and the blind man is not idle, constantly harassing the hotel in a beautiful waitresses, have to tell people’s fortunes, before the departure of a night, in the clamor spent.

The next day the big gold teeth and blind to send us to the train station, both sides of the road to take care of, with the train rumbling start, this do goodbye.

I and Shirley Yang fat three people, by train south, arrived in Kunming, Kunming now live for three days, there are many things to do in these three days, I gave the contact address in accordance with the big gold tooth, found the Tan Hua Temple near the Yingxi Village, where lives a big gold tooth insertion of the revolutionary comrades, he and the big gold tooth has always maintained business contacts, with his assistance, I bought three fine imitation of the six-four type pistol, gun There is also an official number on the body, is the Burmese arsenal imitation of the Chinese standard pistol made, and then into the Chinese territory, from the manufacturing process, can be regarded as an export to domestic sales.

However, this kind of gun is limited, suitable for police officers to use, can also play a little self-defense role, I want to ask the person to buy two more Yunnan poachers commonly used rifles, but the accused no goods, I also have to do, look into the worm valley before, can find the locals to buy a few caliber fast gun, that deep in the valley, gazing no one, if there are any injuries to the beasts, there is no firearms to defend themselves, quite an inconvenience.

At the same time, Shirley Yang with the fat man bought two insect nets, and three beige ruffled sun hat, in accordance with prior plans, we have to dress up as staff of the Museum of Nature, into the forest to catch butterfly specimens, Lancang River is rich in exotic butterflies, so borrow the identity of this kind of trapper as a cover to the “Valley of the worms,” to go down! So I used my identity as a bug catcher as a cover to go to the “Valley of Bugs” to pour the bucket, so I wouldn’t be detected on the way.

The rest of the equipment we try to simplify, this Yunnan mountainous area is not like the desert Gobi, water and food do not need too much, the empty part of the backpack, as much as possible, loaded with a variety of medicines, in order to use to deal with the poisonous insects in the forest.

I divided the three six-four pistols to the fat man two, the fat man felt less satisfied, this kind of broken gun has an egg use, even the rats can not be killed, in a fit of rage, find something to do a slingshot, when we inserted in Inner Mongolia Daxing’anling, often use the slingshot to fight birds and rabbits, material is good, it is indeed more powerful than the six-four pistol.

After all the preparations, we took the car along the 320 national highway, from the Mourning Firmament Mountains and Dali Dancang Mountain bait sea between the crossing, to the beautiful Lancang River, our destination is the most dense mountain range rivers in Yunnan Province, where there is still a long way from the border between China and Myanmar.

This last section of the road is steep and narrow, the coach only traveling on the cliffs, the driver is a veteran, driving carelessly, the road is in poor condition, high and low, and there are a lot of gravel and potholes, a sharp curve and then a sharp curve, the body of the up and down, and often make the dangerous, shocked me and fat man out of a body in a cold sweat, only to be afraid of that the driver did not pay attention to the driver, and even with the car are rolled into the cliffs of the Lancangjiang River.

The rest of the passengers in the car, probably are accustomed to this kind of car on weekdays, not the slightest thought, some laughing and joking, some hooting and hollering, coupled with a number of people with baskets of poultry in the car, the wife cried the child screaming, a variety of odors mixed, pungent and unpleasant, I am not what pampered people, but also can not stand this environment, really unbearable, had to open the windows, breathe the outside of the fresh air.

I look out to see the cliffs is the turbulent Lancang River, both sides of the stone wall towering, straight as the risk of heaven in general, the river is not too wide, looking down, the river is dark red, curved to the south flow.

The fat man air high disease committed, the whole body shivering, but also dare not look out the car window on the half-eye, just cursed: “This fucker driver also really dare to do play, this is …… driving or fucking acrobatics it? This time really want to go to the fat master ah, old Hu we do not get off, buddy will be returned to the position.”

Shirley Yang is not accustomed to such a roller coaster, simply close your eyes, and do not go to see the outside, so more or less can rest assured some.

I said to the fat man: “The revolution has not yet succeeded, we still have to work hard, you insist on insisting, now off the car, but also walk up a long way, you think about the Red Army over the snowy mountains climbing the grasslands, how to insist on, you now this difficulty counts for what, to tell you the truth, I’m fucking fast so that this broken car upside down.”

Next to a local tea peddler told us: “Look at you guys he got like, get some motion sickness tablets to dump, more than a few trips to sit down on the feel of the board Za嘍, you want to gram which point of Ga?”

Yunnan local dialect is complicated, and not good to understand, we this time and do not want to have too much contact with the locals, so what the tea vendor said, I simply did not understand, and do not know how to answer.

The tea seller see I do not understand his words, with the hard Mandarin to me: “I mean to see you hard like, still sitting not used to this kind of car, get used to it is good嘍, you are going to which place to go?”

I see this person is a local native, just can find him to inquire about the distance, then the tea vendor said: “We are pouring …… pouring …… pouring museum, no no, we are the nature museum, want to go to the snake river to catch big Butterflies. Let me ask you, how far is it from here to Chalong Mountain? Where is the best place for us to get off?”

The tea vendor pointed to a high mountain in the distance by the river: “Not far, after turning that mountain bend to get off, it’s the Snake Crawler River under Chalong Mountain, I’m going to collect tea there too, you guys follow me to get off on the line.”

I followed the direction of his finger to see, gray giant mantle-shaped mountain towering at the end of the road, the top of the mountain cloud seal fog locks, in the car to see the past, there is a kind of mountain feeling, although it has been in the hope, but look at the mountain run dead horse, highway and winding, this journey is really not close, it seems that we also have to be in the car more than an hour in the broken car sin.

We are sitting at the end of the car, just when I talk to the tea vendor, the body suddenly shook violently, as if it was pressed into something, the driver braked violently, the passengers in the car fell backward and forward, a burst of chaos, confusion, I heard someone shouting pressure dead, fat man cursed that this psychotic driver so driving, fucking not pressured to death people strange, with me and Shirley Yang together from the back of the Shirley Yang and I together from the back of the window to look at the road.

I only look at the back of a sheet, I feel numbness, hurriedly removed the line of sight, and then look down non-spit out of the inevitable, heck, was crushed to death of what the hell is this thing.