Chapter 12: Who is my uncle?

My illness was cured, and my parents felt that life was getting better. The only thing that still worried them was that before he left, Old Man Jiang had said that he wanted to talk to them about me.

They wondered what else could possibly happen to me. They also wondered why the old man was so good to his own son for no reason, giving him a gold-embroidered tiger claw, performing a memorial service, and offering merit?

But as long as it’s for my own good, my parents won’t mind. To be honest, their simple-mindedness makes them destined to be people who don’t love to calculate.

Time passed in the blink of an eye, and seven or eight days had passed since the old man left. The village was as peaceful as ever, and there was nothing much going on except for the occasional village meeting to convey the spirit of the documents from above.

To be honest, this small village has never fought anyone, and no one has ever deliberately exposed anyone. Fighting with weapons is something that is like a fairy tale to the people in this village.

The only thing that has changed in these days is my weight, which has grown by more than half a catty, to almost nine catties, making me a real fat boy.

On this day, the old man Jiang returned to the village, carrying a bundle on his back. He was still the same as before, looking around at other people’s fields and staring at the young girls. The only difference was that this time, an old man was following him.

This old man was wearing a dark blue Zhongshan suit, but it wasn’t the kind of sharp, woolen Zhongshan suit that only leaders could afford. He also had a hat of the same color, the kind of hat that old men often wear, with a brim in front.

It was cold, but the old man was able to endure it. Even the old man Jiang was wearing a dirty coat on the outside, but compared to Jiang, the old man was clean as a whistle.

When the two of them walk together, they look like a beggar and a retired cadre, and of course, the old man is definitely the beggar.

The people in the village are familiar with Old Jiang, and when they see the two of them walking so arrogantly down the village road, they will greet them and ask curiously, “Old Jiang, you haven’t been seen for a while. Have you shaved your beard? Did you go to see your relatives? Is this your relative?”

The village is simple, but that doesn’t stop them from being nosy. Life in the mountains is basically boring, so gossiping about other people is their biggest entertainment.

Whenever this happens, Old Man Jiang will nod and say, “Yes, that’s right. This is my nephew.”

“So old a nephew?”

“Oh, I’m his second uncle, I’m older than him.”

And whenever this happens, the old man behind him will also smile and step forward, speaking in a friendly Shaanxi dialect: “He’s my second uncle, but this kid is so stupid that he doesn’t even know his own family tree.”

Although it is Mandarin, the dialect words often make the person asking the question confused, but they can generally understand a little bit, that is, the old man is the second uncle of the old man Jiang, and it is the old man Jiang who is confused and does not understand the hierarchy.

In terms of appearance, the old man is kind and amiable, and has a certain refined temperament. Where can he compare with the blind old man Jiang? After such a conversation, people generally believe that the old man is Jiang’s uncle.

Then, no matter how old man Jiang jumped around and shouted that he was the uncle of the old man, no one listened.

After a few more conversations like this, the news spread throughout the village, and soon everyone knew that Jiang’s uncle had come!

Under such circumstances, when Old Man Jiang stepped into my yard, he was all puffed up, with his mouth pursed and cheeks puffed, and he directly stunned my parents.

But the old man behind him was smiling, calm, and obviously a little smug.

“Master Jiang, who is this?” Knowing that Master Jiang had gone to ask a friend for help, my father walked up and asked cautiously, not daring to touch Master Jiang’s bad luck. You see, a few days ago, Master Jiang’s kung fu had completely overwhelmed my father, and he had a certain amount of admiration for Master Jiang.

“My nephew.”

“His second uncle.”

The two voices replied at the same time. Not only my father, but even my mother was stunned. What kind of messy relationship is this? Both of them are uncles and nephews?

The old man was furious and jumped up, shouting, “Old baldie, haven’t you taken advantage of me enough already? You monks are supposed to tell the truth, but you baldies are always lying. I’m going to fight you.”

The old monk was not to be outdone, and he said, “You’re the one who’s lying. You’re the one who’s lying. You don’t know which one is lying first. You said that my second uncle is your uncle. I’m not stupid. Why should I let you?”

Fortunately, the old man was speaking Sichuanese, which my parents could understand. But as soon as the old monk opened his mouth, my parents were completely confused. What was going on? The old man was not acting like a monk, and even his friend (from the conversation just now, my parents already knew that the two of them were definitely not uncle and nephew), was also like this?

The old man seemed to feel that he had suffered a loss when he saw that my parents did not understand Shaanxi dialect, and immediately spoke in pure Mandarin: “I was careless in choosing friends, but I couldn’t bear to see my friend fall. On the road, he committed another sin of the tongue. In order to help him turn back in time, I gave him a little punishment, so that he would understand that there is a cause and effect for everything. If he wants to be my second uncle, he must try the taste of being my second uncle.”

My parents were both speechless. At first, the monk had seemed like a wise man, but then he ended up talking about my uncle.

At this point, the old man Jiang had already jumped over and shouted, “Wise and aware old bald monk, you just rely on your good image, I’m going to fight you.”

Seeing that the two old men were about to fight, how could my parents just stand by and watch? They immediately pulled and persuaded, and it was only with great difficulty that they persuaded the two elderly people, who felt extremely unreliable in their words and deeds.

Of course, they were just like this all along, like a happy couple, not really angry or about to fight. Otherwise, my parents would never have been able to separate them.

The two old men stopped arguing and entered the main room, both of them fuming. As soon as they sat down, Jiang said to my mother, “You came all the way back here, so you must be hungry.

My mother hurriedly agreed, still wondering what to cook for them. The old man immediately added, “Don’t bother too much. I have wine and meat, any kind of meat will do. This old man, make him some vegetarian food.”

The old man immediately stretched his neck and said, “I want four eggs.”

Monks still eat eggs? Not only my mother, but even my father, who was busy pouring tea, was stunned. The old man sneered and said, “That’s really new. When did monks start eating eggs?”

“What do you know? Besides the monks in our country who don’t eat meat, what other country’s monks don’t eat meat? Do you know what ‘three-clean meat’ is? There’s also ‘five-clean meat.’ What’s the big deal about eating an egg? At most, I’ll chant a few more sutras to eliminate my karma.” In the face of Jiang’s sarcasm, the old man named Huijue was definitely not going to be outdone.

“Let’s talk about your karma first!”

“What’s it got to do with you?”

…

Seeing that the two were about to argue again, my father quickly came to persuade them. It was really hard to deal with these two old men. If you let them go on, the house might be demolished.

In the end, my mother killed a chicken, made tofu pudding, fried some vegetables, and especially boiled a few eggs for the two old men to eat. The two old men finally calmed down, probably because they were satisfied with the food and were too lazy to argue with each other.

After dinner, the two old men sat in the main room drinking tea, accompanied by my parents. Old Jiang then said slowly, “The last time we collected those lonely ghosts and wild spirits, they were still trapped in the town soul talisman. This time, we invited this old bald monk to come here to liberate these lonely ghosts and wild spirits.”

“When it comes to the ability to save people, we Buddhists say that no one dares to say that we are number one.” A mouthful of pure Mandarin came out of the old monk Huijue’s mouth again, but the smug look could not be concealed.

“Are you going to pick a fight again when we’re talking about business?” Old Jiang’s neck stiffened and his temper flared up immediately.

These two old men admire each other, but why do they have to argue with each other as soon as they meet, making each other uncomfortable? The main reason is that they both want to argue with each other that their own way of learning and the sect they belong to are the most powerful and strongest.

He thought the old monk would argue about it, but he didn’t expect the old monk to be so quiet after hearing what Jiang said. He said a Buddhist mantra and stopped talking.

The old man took a sip of tea and continued, “It is a meritorious deed for the third son to have saved these lonely spirits and wild ghosts. The fact that he has saved these lonely spirits and wild ghosts can also help to alleviate some of the calamities in his future life.”

So that’s it. My parents were both moved and nervous. They were moved because the old monk was willing to invite a high-ranking monk to help the ghosts, and since the old monk was so powerful, the monk he invited must be no ordinary monk.

I was nervous because I heard that I would have more bad luck in the future.