Chapter 114: The ending given by the old forest

Deciding on a future direction is the best way to calm existing sorrow.

At this moment, I still miss my master, but I know that in the future I will go to find him. With this goal, the sadness is not so obvious, and it can help me get through many years.

For example, with Ru Xue, in the future we have decided to bless each other and love without regret, so the pain will slowly fade away with a sense of calm, because we have no regrets in our hearts.

It is also like what Master Hui said to Master a long time ago, “Life is a process. The ending that the heavens let you see is certainly not death, but whether your state of mind can reach a certain level when you die. To put it more clearly, the process of life is a kind of experience.”

Therefore, whether or not I can find my master and see Ru Xue in the end is not the key to the matter, but that I have a new direction in my life. When I close my eyes, I have experienced it and my heart is at peace.

This is the true meaning of doing one’s best and accepting one’s fate.

I looked at the handwriting of the master, and I was lost in thought for a while. I put away my sadness and replaced it with calmness, and then walked towards the futon in the room. I naturally understood the meaning of the words left by the master.

I picked up the cushion, tore off the yellow cloth covering it, and saw that the middle was hollowed out. Inside the cushion was a whisk, which I was familiar with. It was a magical instrument left to the master by the founder of the sect. The whisk was embedded with a special metal chain, and when used in conjunction with the 36 styles of the whisk, it was an extremely powerful magical instrument. It was also the most handy and most “proud” magical instrument of the master. Now he had hidden it in the cushion and left it to me.

I had already calmed down, but looking at the whisk, I felt a wave of sadness. Just as I thought, my master was worried about me after all. It was like a father facing a son who was stubborn and did not do things according to his own advice. Even if he was angry and helpless, he was worried about his son in the end. He would quietly slip a stack of money into his son’s luggage for a long journey as a way to express his feelings silently. I don’t approve of you, but Dad will always support you and worry about you.

I silently put away the whisk, took a deep breath, and the cold air at the entrance happened to calm some of my emotions. At least I understood that my heart had been comforted, and the anger that my master had left me without a word had been gently brushed away by the whisk.

I calmly put down the whisk and turned to hold Ru Xue’s hand, saying, “Let’s go. I’ll give you a ride.”

Ru Xue leaned closer to me, letting me hold her hand, and she gave a soft nod.

Chengxin sighed and said nothing, silent. The tragedy or comedy of love is all for others to see. The true taste is like drinking water, which one knows only by oneself.

What you think is regrettable, others may not think so. What you think is happy, others may not think so.

Chengxin understood this, and a sigh, without comment, was the best attitude.

The three of us walked out of the quiet room in silence. The rest of the way was only a distance of three or five meters. I just held Ru Xue’s hand tighter and tighter, and she responded in kind.

We all understand the truth, but it still takes some time to get over a broken heart. Sensibility and rationality, no one can achieve complete balance, as long as he (she) is moved.

There was no more lantern burning here. In the darkness, the sound of our footsteps echoed in the corridor. We soon came to the screen wall, but we didn’t stop. We silently bypassed the screen wall and continued on.

Behind the screen wall, there was another corridor, but it was only ten meters away. There was only one long-burning lamp, making the entire corridor dim and giving it an unreal, hallucinatory feel.

This little light does not affect our view of the end of the corridor, where a bronze door is tightly shut.

The bugs were dancing behind Ruoxue, just like a large dark cloud behind the three of us. But even if it were a real dark cloud, it would not be able to harmonize with the sadness in my heart.

Walking hand in hand down the corridor, I tried to speak calmly to Ru Xue, “Is this the last time in my life that you and I can walk side by side?”

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. I didn’t say anything to you just now, but now I can’t let it go, and I can’t help but tell you again, if you really can’t forget, just keep it in your heart, but you can still live a peaceful and happy life. This is my blessing to you.” Ru Xue said softly.

I held Ru Xue’s hand a little tighter, not looking at her, but staring at the bronze gate that was getting closer and closer. I said, “I know, and I believe that even if the world falls apart one day, it won’t change the fact that I love you and have loved you deeply. It’s left in time. I don’t blame or hate it. That’s enough. I’ve given you many years of my life. During those years, there was only one girl in my heart named Ru Xue.”

“That’s good,” Ru Xue said quietly, but in the blink of an eye we had reached the bronze gate.

Ru Xue looked at me with a smile on her lips. I looked at Ru Xue and smiled back. Since we were going to part ways, why not give each other a smile, even if it was a sad smile.

“I’m leaving,” Ru Xue said to me.

“You once said what could be the ending for us? I said that a person’s life starts with birth and ends with death. If we can’t die on the same day, then the ending is either a separation or a farewell. So the time we spent together is the ending. Ru Xue, we have an ending now, right?” I looked at Ru Xue and said, although I was smiling, my throat was aching.

“Well, it’s the end. For many years, you loved me, I loved you, and we were the only ones for each other. The difference is that we didn’t die at that time. The world saw that and thought it wasn’t the end. But what does that matter? For us two, it’s enough to be the end, and we’re very happy, with no regrets.” As she said this, Ru Xue’s hand gently stroked my face.

I held Ru Xue’s hand and finally pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly and whispering, “I’m actually always unwilling to let go. I can’t bear to let you go.”

“Do you have to wait until you are willing to let go?” Ruxue said in a rare ‘naughty’ tone, quietly letting me hold her, and only after a while did she leave my embrace, looking at me and saying very seriously, “Chengyi, I am leaving.”

“Mmm.” Finally, my tears welled up in my eyes, as did Ru Xue’s.

“You guys go back the way you came, climb the stairs, and you’ll get out of this place. I just got this information in the meditation room,” Ru Xue said softly to me.

I nodded, looked at the ceiling, and desperately held back my tears.

“Chengyi, I have a request,” Ruoxue continued.

“Huh?”

“Wait a minute. After you push open the door, turn around and leave. Don’t look back.”

“Why?” Even though I was desperately trying to hold back my tears, they still slipped out of my eyes. At this moment, my heart was like an ocean, and I was a drowning man, unable to do anything but let it overwhelm me and drown me.

“Before, you and Chengxin sang a few lines together. You were very sad, and you didn’t want to see my back. So, in the end, I don’t want to leave a back to you. You just remember me as I am now.” When Ru Xue said this, her tears fell silently, but her voice was as calm as ever.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know if I could be heartless enough not to turn back.

But Ru Xue was already unwilling to wait any longer, and said softly to me, “Open the door.”

As soon as she said that, she started pushing the door open. I gritted my teeth and let my tears and snot run down my face. I lowered my head and helped Ru Xue push the door open with Cheng Xin Ge.

I thought the heavy door was not as heavy as we thought. In fact, I didn’t want to push it open, so I wished it was heavier.

Opening this door was like opening a door in the lives of Ru Xue and I. Inside and outside the door, we could no longer be a couple who could love each other as they pleased.

“Boom…” In the end, the bronze gate was pushed open with a dull sound. At that moment, I smelled a smell that I couldn’t describe, a smell that should belong to vicissitudes of life. The insect cloud behind us couldn’t wait to fly in.

But when I looked up, I was shocked by what was behind the gate. Was it the universe? Or not, because there were no stars, only thick darkness, with a kind of indistinct distortion and mystery, which appeared before my eyes. With the light behind me, I couldn’t see through the darkness, and I didn’t know what kind of existence was inside, how big it was, or how broad.

I could only see a shocking presence floating in it鈥攖he skeleton of a dragon! The real, skeletal remains of a dragon from Chinese mythology!

I can’t describe the feeling at this moment. It’s as if I’m standing in a void, with only the huge skeleton opposite me. It seems to be facing me with a huge sense of power, but there is not the slightest hint of coercion. It is peaceful but vast!

“Chengyi, you can go now,” said Ruoxue softly, letting go of my hand.

I was stunned, unable to move!

“Chengxin brother,” Ruoxue whispered.

Chengxin understood and pulled me over, dragging me back. He held my neck tightly, twisted my head, and dragged me away, saying to me, “Chengyi, don’t look back. Listen to Ruoxue, or you’ll be sad, and she’ll be sad. Don’t look back.”

I don’t turn around? I don’t turn around? My tears fell like coins on my face.

I heard footsteps behind me, and it felt like my whole body and my heart were being pulled further and further away with those footsteps!

“No!” I shouted, then punched the innocent Chengxin brother, suddenly breaking free of him and turning around abruptly.

In the light of my eyes, I saw her figure slowly disappearing into the darkness behind the door. It was as if the darkness had swallowed her up, and the bronze door was closing slowly as if someone were inside.

No, don’t! I suddenly felt that I was having difficulty breathing, and I ran like crazy towards the door. I wanted to hold Ruoxue, or I wanted to be with her. I loved her so much!

Chengxin brother held me tightly, and his voice came from behind me with a sob: “Chengyi, don’t let her rest in peace! When she became heavier and heavier on my back, and there was no movement anymore, you can believe me, I am no less sad than you.”

“Ru Xue!” I cried out in a heart-wrenching voice, suddenly falling to my knees. Finally, the sea of sadness had drowned me, and I no longer had the strength to hold back my tears.