Chapter 161: The final truth

Lushan is smart, and his experience of losing his parents at a young age makes him somewhat sensitive. How could Lushan not be suspicious of Bai Ma’s behavior?

But Baima was very calm, as if she had read his mind. She just said, “My practice is not limited to Lagan Monastery. Maybe I will go to a very, very faraway place… You and I have been together for five years, and in my life, I feel that the person I can trust the most is you. Tao Bai is still young, and although he will be taken care of very well at Lagan Monastery, I still hope that you can watch over him a little. In fact, the biggest problem is that he has no one to rely on emotionally… because in his life, besides me, that is, you, you are the most kind to him.

“Baima doesn’t lie, but that doesn’t mean she won’t tell everything in a light-hearted way… She thought being made into a living instrument was another of her spiritual practices, and I thought she wouldn’t lie, so I easily believed her… and failed to stop it. At the time, I was just feeling sorry that we were not from the same world and that she was going on a long journey again. But the fact that she had granted me this one night of companionship was already the greatest favor in my life. At least I knew that she had feelings for me, and as long as I had those feelings, even if we were worlds apart, what was wrong with that? After all, cultivators can see through things a bit, and they also know that two people who love and understand each other don’t necessarily have to be together forever.

Indeed, from Lushan’s perspective, if Baima had the intention to hide it, how could he have known this cruel truth?

That night, he finally embraced Pema and even kissed her gently at her request… This was the only time that love blossomed in their lives, like fireworks, it faded quickly, but the splendor of that moment will remain in their hearts forever.

It was also on this night that Pema told Lushan about her background. In fact, she and Tao Bai were not pure Tibetan children. Their father was a Han Chinese… and not just any Han Chinese.

“I don’t know much about my father… My mother told me and my brother that we are ordinary people, especially my brother, who has an amazing secret… But my father wanted my brother and I to live an ordinary life, so he chose to leave here and return to the department where he worked… and there has been no news since then.” Baima said to Lushan.

“What about your mother?” Lushan couldn’t help but ask. Although he was an orphan, he still had relatives, but he had never met any of Bai Ma and Tao Bai’s relatives.

“My mother passed away when I was very young… She died in a very strange way, searching for a magical place… She entrusted us to a kind neighbor, but she didn’t go far and came back… When she came back, she was already very ill and couldn’t even speak. It seemed like she was only able to support herself until she saw us… At that time, my brother was only two months old, and she seemed to want to say something to us, but she was too weak to speak, and she passed away like that.” Baima told Lushan with a sad memory.

“So… what happened next?”

“Then, the day after my mother died, the monks from the Lagan Monastery appeared and took me and my brother away… After all, this is a sacred temple. Although it has been closed for a long time, its compassionate light still remains in people’s hearts. The old woman who took care of me and my brother was also relieved to let us go… The monks here thought that my brother and I were outstanding practitioners with outstanding talents, so I became a holy woman and my brother became a holy son… Later, I met you.” Baima leaned on Lushan’s shoulder.

“It turns out that both Baima and I are the same unfortunate people, and my parents and her mother seem to have an amazing resemblance, both going in search of some mysterious existence… The difference is that her mother came back, but my parents never came back. Once, I wondered if it was because of this reason that the gods allowed us, these unfortunate children, to meet and warm each other… I also learned that Tao Bai did not use a Tibetan name because of an agreement between their parents, one following the mother’s Tibetan name and the other following the father’s Chinese name.” Lushan said to me.

In short… that night was the closest they had ever been, and they talked about almost everything… until the moon gradually set and the east began to light up… Baima reluctantly left, and before leaving, she gave Lu Shan a hug without any words of farewell… but when she was going down the mountain, Baima seemed to have a feeling in her heart, and suddenly she looked back at Lu Shan, smiled at him with tears in her eyes… and then she really left.

That glance was the last time that Baima and Lushan looked at each other.

“What happened after that? How did you become the head of the department? And with Tao Bai?” I couldn’t help but start asking.

“That’s a memory I don’t want to think about… Chengyi, I learned the truth seven days later. At that time, the holy vessel had already been completed and was taken out to be blessed and consecrated by everyone. As an important disciple of the temple, Manrenba inadvertently revealed this secret to me… He saw my curiosity about the suddenly appearing holy vessel and couldn’t help but tell me proudly that it was the key to the heavens the key to heaven… before it is fully activated, it has supreme magical power… and after it is fully activated and refined, combined with something, it can truly open the heavens… I was very curious at the time, how could such a powerful holy artifact suddenly appear, but Manrenba told me without a care in the world that it didn’t suddenly appear, but was refined by the temple for many years… and only then was it a holy artifact. Lushan’s emotions became agitated again as he spoke, and his hands began to tremble…

“Stop talking, I can guess the answer…” In fact, I can guess the rest of the conversation without going into detail. I can guess that this kind of wound really doesn’t need to be ripped open, because it’s really too cruel.

“Well… I just want to tell you, Chengyi, that my hands, which I had hidden in my sleeves, were covered in blood because of the pain… I clenched my fists so tightly that I almost used up all my strength, and I cut my palms… Do you know what that kind of pain is like? It was almost enough to make me collapse in an instant… It was this restraint that prevented me from having an attack on the spot… At that time, I actually vaguely knew that the monks at the Lhakang Temple were not behaving properly. Unlike the high priests of Tibetan Buddhism in other temples, they were not holy and full of compassion. evil aura, but I was so brainwashed, and because Pema was such a perfect goddess in this temple, I didn’t want to believe anything, or I thought I was too focused on form… At that time, I just thought Pema was deceived, because Manjiba’s tone was so relaxed, and Pema, this silly girl, was deceived.” At this point, Lushan’s voice trembled so badly that even his Adam’s apple kept shaking.

He said not to shed tears for Baima… At this time, he was definitely suffering in pain and holding back his tears. If he were a stronger man, his beloved woman would have been killed in such a cruel way, made into a living instrument, and still deceived. The fire of anger in his heart could burn up to heaven. It was already good that Lushan could restrain himself to this extent.

I quickly took the wine from him and handed it to Lushan, saying, “Don’t say anything yet. Come, have a few sips.”

In fact, I was also very sad. Before I handed it to Lushan, I also drank a few sips… and Lushan took the wine pot and almost drank all the wine in one gulp. A strange flush appeared on his face, and the tears that were about to burst out of his eyes were forced back.

“Chengyi, at that time I made a decision. I wanted to find out the truth. I wanted to take Baima and Taobai with me… You don’t know what courage I had to face the sacred vessel at that moment, and what courage I had to keep myself from collapsing… Chengyi, but every day I live in purgatory… Do you know? For these purposes, I began to practice harder and harder, and to show off my talents more and more… Then, in front of you, Lushan, for this purpose, I also deliberately went along with the monks… I can only promise that I have not taken the life of an innocent person, and that my hands have not been stained with their blood… But there are too many things that I have turned a blind eye to There have been too many things that I have turned a blind eye to, even to the point of understanding or applauding, and not helping when I should have. I can’t tell you all of them, I just hope you understand how far I have gone to endure… In fact, I am a sinner, named Zeren… I changed my name to Lushan, but I can’t wash away the sins on my body. Those who were made into living instruments… those girls who were defiled in the name of cultivation and various other names, and even lost their lives… so many, so many…” The wine began to flow, and Lushan’s emotions began to collapse.

And my heart was also filled with pain. As a man, if I were Lu Shan, what would I do? At that time, what could I do other than endure? In fact, I had no choice…

But I still forced myself to help him up, looked him in the eye and said to him seriously, “No, Lushan… I don’t deny that you have sinned, that you have forced yourself to turn a blind eye to the sins… But I don’t recognize you as a sinner… Because everything in the world is a cycle of cause and effect. You can plant evil seeds, but you can also plant good seeds. You can reap evil, but you can also reap good… In the cycle of cause and effect, they can cancel each other out… But you have to do it with a pure and good heart! Not to escape the consequences of evil… The heavens set up the law of cause and effect, and it is only the human heart that is tempered… The important thing is what kind of human heart you have! You Buddhists also said, didn’t you, that if you put down the butcher’s knife, you will become a Buddha? This is the power of a heart… You have so many declarations, no matter what, you can use the time of your life to do good and wash away your sins… Such people are not sinners. Knowing one’s mistakes and being able to improve is the greatest thing, and this is what this sentence means, because the most irreparable thing from ancient times to the present is nothing more than a human heart.

“Chengyi, good brother!” Lushan patted my shoulder and looked up at the sky, saying, “I thought you would look down on me, but you understand me better than I do… Anyway, without those years of endurance, how could I have escaped from the Lagan Monastery with Tao Bai and the sacred vessel? It was a long story, carefully laid out, and finally a risky success… But after escaping, I found that there was nowhere to go in the vast world! The people of the Lagan Temple naturally wanted to kill me… You asked me why I became a member of the department. That’s because I took Tao Bai to find his father… and I also hoped to get the protection of the department. Do you understand?”

“So that’s it?” At this moment, all the clues finally came together…