Chapter 179: Enlightenment
At this time, I didn’t want everyone to notice my unusual behavior, and I really wanted to explain to the head of the sect that I was fine… However, in the next moment, I couldn’t sense the outside world.
It was because the will of Chen Chengyi, which I had always thought was sleeping, suddenly rebounded violently at this moment, slowly suppressing my will, and his will could not gain the upper hand in an instant.
Therefore, the two of us could no longer clearly perceive the outside world, but instead confronted each other in the world of existence… Gradually, I also lost control of my body and soul. Who am I? I am Chen Chengyi…
I thought I would just sleep on like this… In the silence and darkness, if you don’t maintain that one ray of clarity that is always there, it’s not so terrible. It’s like if you don’t feel anything, would you still feel the knife that cuts you? It doesn’t hurt at all, so you’re not afraid.
However, I could not forget my master’s words… He told me not to give up, and that I should treat all of this as if I were climbing a mountain… So, when the Taoist monk’s will overwhelmed me, and every time I was about to be ‘swallowed’ and assimilated, I always refused to give up my own clarity in the darkness.
I am Chen Chengyi!
This is my last ray of clarity… This clarity is painful because I am surrounded by a silent world of darkness, and because the Daoist’s will is completely suppressed, I cannot perceive anything outside.
Therefore, maintaining this clarity is the most painful experience in my life, and the most painful tempering… The only thing I dare not give up is hope.
I could feel that everything about me was merging with the Taoist monk in silence, except for my will. Because I knew that in the end, this was what would be truly suppressed and dissipated. And the essence of will is something that cannot be explained in any way. No one can say exactly what it is.
Just as the soul can sometimes be explained as a force, a magnetic field, but what about the will?
I once asked my master this question about the core of the soul. My master also pondered for a long time before answering me: “This may be a heart, this may be a person’s thoughts, and this is the most intangible thing.”
Whether it is a heart or fluctuating thoughts, the greatest nourishment is hope. I am glad that I have never given up.
From the infinite darkness at the beginning, to later, as the Taoist monk and my soul became more and more integrated, his will became less strong. Occasionally, when his mood fluctuated, I could slowly perceive the outside world and slowly regain some clarity.
As for why the always indifferent Daotongzi would have such mood swings… I can hardly explain it, but I remember that my master once mentioned the words of a high monk, as if he were explaining the soul to me.
He said that the high monk once said that in fact, jumping out of the river of fate… escaping the cycle of suffering is not something that ordinary people cannot try, but without a perfectly tempered round and satisfied will (which can also be interpreted as a perfect heart), it is impossible to bear the memories of one lifetime after another.
Because if you don’t look at yourself with a detached heart, you will eventually be assimilated and fall into complete chaos.
This passage seems obscure and profound, but it is not difficult to understand. Every trial and tribulation that the Tao gives people is kind and fair… In other words, at the beginning of life, people are given a pure heart, allowing them to start over… If the trial and tribulation is not thorough, the mistakes of the previous life will still be mistakes, and even deeper mistakes… But some people will be able to refine the impurities.
In a certain life, that is, when the heart is close to the perfection of the Dao, only such a heart will be able to see its own memories in each life as the Dao sees the world, and the will of each life hidden behind the barrier of fate will be accepted, or completely abandoning mistakes and returning to the correct will.
This is the last heart trial before attaining enlightenment… After that, one returns to perfection.
Ordinary people can naturally try to do this, but without such a heart, how can they not be affected by the memories of each life? In the end, not to mention refining the will, the entire person will be completely disoriented in the memories of reincarnation.
Therefore, the final test is to fuse the great cycle of reincarnation into a series of small cycles of reincarnation. If the mind is complete, what is the difference between a hundred reincarnations?
If you have to explain the boy’s mood swings, you can only say that his will cannot even withstand the memories of this life.
The more I felt his indifference, the more I realized that it was just a disguise. His way of perceiving the world should be indifferent, fair and emotionless.
He also tried hard to imitate it, but he didn’t know that… this was only the form, not the heart. How could it be true? The more he did this, the weaker he became. Daotongzi was greatly affected by his memories… and his bigotry became more and more obvious at a certain point…
In the case of Yang Sheng, his doubts were completely reflected in this kind of bigotry… Bigotry towards the Dao, isn’t it just like Yang Sheng’s bigotry towards science?
I heard the elder say that the answer had long been given by the Dao, which was to prevent all this. Using longevity as the price was a warning from the Dao… It’s like having unmatched power without a matching heart, which only leads to self-destruction.
This has nothing to do with the morality and bottom line of the righteous cultivator, but the righteous cultivator sees this danger… And isn’t this the essence of the endless internal strife that humanity has been caught up in?
When the mind is not complete and the power is inflated, one always wants to get more… This selfish greed is the original sin, which has set off one war after another. From another perspective, even if Yang Sheng succeeds without any aftereffects, is it necessarily good for humans? What are the consequences for the world?
No matter what the circumstances, gaining a powerful force that is not in line with oneself is not a good thing, it is dangerous… What’s more, Yang Sheng’s success without side effects is impossible, and it is full of endless consequences. These test subjects are examples… They have become unhuman. Is it really not painful to live like this?
I sighed, it was hard to imagine the consequences of a child holding a knife… Life is a long process of evolution, how can we really force it? Although this may seem unconvincing, in reality, it is truly terrifying…
When we were locked in a standoff with no awareness of the outside world, Tao Tongzi and I had our first real encounter, in the world of our perceptions…
He stood in front of me, dressed in a green robe just as he remembered, with a calm expression and pursed lips, but his eyes looked at me with some curiosity.
“Chen Chengyi, since I regained clarity in you, I have been in a state of doubt, even about things I thought were certain. For example, why is your will, which should have disappeared, so clear? You tell me, I was wrong…” Tao Tongzi spoke first, saying this to me.
“I can’t answer you, but now I feel that everything is just as Master said. What is wrong is wrong, and what is right is right. What is wrong cannot cover up what is right. This is the way of heaven. This may be the reason why I won’t disappear.” I said to Daotongzi.
Before, in my mind, Dao Tongzi was indomitable and invincible. Later, I discovered that the deeper I understood, the more it turned out not to be the case.
It seems that human fear comes from the unknown, and this is really the truth.
“Are you saying that I was wrong when I said that Yang Sheng was wrong? The only thing that was wrong was that Yang Sheng violated the laws of heaven, so heaven took the life of the person being experimented on as a warning. When I supported Yang Sheng, was I violating the laws of heaven?” The Taoist looked at me, genuinely asking.
“No, you were wrong in not seeing clearly why the heavens gave such a warning. You have always been wrong in only looking at the surface of the rules. It’s as if the rules tell you to be one, and you mechanically do this one thing. You never delve into why there is a one behind it? Just as you think that the rules of the heavens are fair and merciless, you don’t know that behind the rules every day is great love… I want to thank you for letting me fall into darkness, so that I can think more deeply about where I failed in my past life, so that I can undergo such tempering in this life.” I sighed and said.
At this moment, I really had a feeling of enlightenment, as if everything had been completely revealed before my eyes.
“What did you see clearly? Why is the Tao of Heaven great love?” The Taoist boy still didn’t understand.
“I see clearly that my past life experience of the Wei Dynasty rain disaster may not be a bad thing. If I hadn’t encountered this disaster, I would have definitely gone astray. The master set up the Dream Return Array… but only to make you realize that you have gone astray, but in the end, you still didn’t see clearly the danger. As for why the way of heaven is great love, you only need to look at the mainstream direction of the rules of heaven to understand… It is positive, which is the greatest kindness, just like the rising and setting of the sun, the cycle of life, which is the kindness of life… Do you understand? If you don’t experience all kinds of ups and downs in the world, how can you see through this in the end? What you see is just the fairness and ruthlessness of the rules. I said with a sigh.
I finally understood.