Confucius on Building Respectful Relationships: The Wisdom of Yan Pingzhong

5-17 The Tzu said, “Yan Pingzhong(1) is good at making friends with people, and he honors them(2) for a long time.”

[Commentary

(1) Yan Pingzhong: a wise doctor of the state of Qi, named Ying. There is a biography of him in Volume 62 of the Records of the Grand Historian. “Ping” is his posthumous name.

(2) long and respect: “of” here refers to Yan Pingzhong.

[Translation

Confucius said, “Yan Pingzhong was good at making friends with people, and after knowing them for a long time, they still respected him.”

[Commentary

Confucius here praised Yan Ying, a great physician of the State of Qi, thinking that it was not easy for him to make good friends with others and to gain their respect for him. On the one hand, Confucius praised Yan Ying, but on the other hand, he hoped that his students would learn from Yan Ying to be “good friends with others”, to respect and love each other, and to become moral people.

In the rich tapestry of Chinese philosophy, the teachings of Confucius remain a guiding light, offering profound insights into the art of human interaction. One notable quote from Confucius sheds light on the value of enduring respect in relationships. He stated, “Yan Pingzhong was skilled in making friends, and even after a long time, people continued to hold him in high regard.”

Understanding Yan Pingzhong

Yan Pingzhong, whose full name was Yan Ying, was a distinguished statesman from the State of Qi during the Spring and Autumn period of Chinese history. His title, “Pingzhong,” was a posthumous honorific that reflects his virtuous character. According to historical texts, including the “Records of the Grand Historian” (Shiji), Yan Pingzhong was renowned for his exceptional skills in diplomacy and personal conduct.

The Essence of Confucius’s Praise

Confucius’s praise of Yan Pingzhong emphasizes the importance of cultivating genuine, respectful relationships. By stating that Yan Pingzhong was “skilled in making friends,” Confucius highlights the value of nurturing positive interactions. The phrase “even after a long time, people continued to hold him in high regard” underscores the enduring nature of true respect.

This commendation serves a dual purpose. Firstly, it acknowledges Yan Pingzhong’s personal virtues and his ability to earn lasting respect through his conduct. Secondly, it serves as a lesson for Confucius’s students and followers, urging them to emulate Yan Pingzhong’s example. The key message is that maintaining respectful and positive relationships requires effort and integrity, and when done well, it earns admiration that lasts over time.

Applying the Wisdom Today

In contemporary society, the principles conveyed by Confucius remain highly relevant. Building lasting respect and positive relationships in both personal and professional contexts often involves the same virtues that Yan Pingzhong exemplified: sincerity, reliability, and respectfulness. Confucius’s teachings suggest that fostering genuine connections and treating others with consistent respect can lead to enduring admiration and trust.

This timeless advice is valuable not only in understanding historical figures but also in guiding modern interactions. By focusing on cultivating authentic relationships and consistently demonstrating respect, individuals can achieve the kind of lasting regard that Confucius admired in Yan Pingzhong.

Confucius’s reflections on Yan Pingzhong remind us that true respect is earned through consistent, genuine engagement with others. This lesson, drawn from ancient wisdom, continues to resonate in our interactions today, encouraging us to build relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.