chapter 56 – bitter thoughts among the villas

The sky was cloudy all of a sudden, but not yet weeping. Fan Xian’s face was somewhat somber, half leaning against the window of the carriage, looking out the window at the mountain passes and the extremely well-protected green hills and wild forests on the outskirts of the capital, silent for a long time without uttering a word.

The black carriage traveled along the straight but undulating stone road, driving diagonally onto the official road and out of the realm of Chen Yuan. However, Fan Xian’s expression did not lighten up. The officials of the Supervisory Yuan around him looked at the still handsome, but today’s extraordinarily indifferent facial favor by the window, and all of them had some inexplicable chills in their hearts; they didn’t know what had happened in the Chen Garden, and what the old dean and Lord Titus had said, and why Lord Titus’s expression was so serious today.

Carriage in the official road in silence toward the capital, along the road occasionally encountered into the city people or trekking green return of the government and gentry family teenage girls, these several black carriages, as if in the light of a silent warning light, all the people see them, all hastily to the side, for these black carriages to make way for the black carriages.

The people were acting out of their innate respect for the officials, while those young powerful nobles who were not afraid of the sky in the past were aware of the status and power that these black carriages represented. The powerful nobles in Kyoto had many eyes and ears, so of course they knew that young Lord Fan had rushed back to Kyoto from Dongyi City last night.

Nowadays, no one dares to offend Fan Xian, even these young dignitaries who have been conditioned by hormones to be incredibly arrogant, in front of these black carriages, they still only converge their breath and stare, not daring to say a word in the atmosphere – Little Lord Fan is famous for his ruthlessness and arrogance, and he doesn’t care what kind of mother is behind these teenagers, or which country is the Duke of the country! –Four or five years ago, outside the Moon Building, Fan Xian had broken the legs of a dozen little brats by himself, a story that had long since shocked the hearts of all the other little brats.

Fan Xian did not notice the movement on the official road, nor did he look at the teenagers who were cowering and stopping their horses, but only looked at the scenery beside the official road in silence, with an unusually heavy heart. In previous years, guessed just guessed, thought just thought, the elders have not said anything to him, so he can also temporarily as if he did not know these, just secretly making preparations, only as a subconscious behavior, rather than from the heart, in order to a clear purpose and tossing.

But now everything has been clearly and incomparably in front of him, he must face the story of that year head on and make his own choice.

At this time the black carriage has traveled to the official road of a fork in the road, not far ahead is the majestic city of Kyoto, the left hand side of a quiet road, is under the shade of the green bamboo forest. Where to go?

“To the left.”

Fan Xian, who was leaning against the window, narrowed his eyes slightly and commanded softly. Mu Feng’er glanced at his lordship, didn’t dare to say anything, and made a gesture, and the three black carriages swiftly turned left into the green bamboo forest and disappeared in front of everyone’s eyes.

To this road to go not far, the green bamboo gradually sparse, you can see the road side of the blue like jade of the river. The river flows slowly, the speed is very slow, if not with the heart to see, I’m afraid that this is a lake.

It is the flowing crystal river that passes through the city, traveling around the city and eventually westward to the Cangshan Mountain. This river in the upper reaches somewhere cohesion powder, convergence boat on the colorful lights, concentrated in the Kyoto half of the erotic prosperity, even if Fan Xian’s hold the moon building abruptly, still did not completely take away the flavor of the river.

The flowing crystal river to the outskirts of the capital, come to this bamboo forest green trees in the middle, has been quiet a lot, quiet a lot, especially on the opposite side of the river on the small peninsula of that side of the mansion, in this springtime bright flooded with fresh and elegant flavor, added a few points of the world and independent feeling.

The Taiping courtyard, when the Ye family mistress of the small courtyard, later the royal courtyard, the eldest princess in Kyoto rebellion, once lived here for two days, but only for two days, and then this courtyard back to the silence, as if no one has ever lived here in general.

Fan Xian got off the carriage and quietly looked at the courtyard, thinking about the people who had lived there, and was a little lost in thought for a moment.

After the rebellion in Kyoto had been pacified, the emperor had vaguely revealed twice that he wanted to re-gift this courtyard to Fan Xian. Fan Xian was clear that it was best not to ask for this matter himself, so he had always treated it calmly, but for some reason, this matter never came to fruition in the end.

In the summer of the fifth year of the Qingli era, after a night’s stay in the Fan clan’s fieldhouse outside the city, Fan Xian had once brought his sister here and kowtowed twice to the Taiping Farewell Courtyard to send his condolences, but didn’t go in because he knew that the emperor had a different kind of affection for the courtyard, a different kind of trepidation.

But Fan Xian went in later, and he and Uncle Five Bamboo found the bullets for the heavy sniper in a secret room in Taiping Farewell Courtyard, and wandered around in there for a long time, and the royal guards were not in the eyes of the two of them at all.

Fan Xian’s eyes narrowed, his gaze penetrating the faint watery air of the river, as if he wanted to penetrate the greenish-gray walls of Taiping Beiyuan and see through everything inside.

There were no graves inside.

This was a fact that Fan Xian had already established long ago. His father, Fan Jian, had once told him privately that Ye Qingmei’s grave was in a secluded place, and later pointed out that it was in Taiping Beiyuan, but there was no grave in the courtyard. Fan Xian later thought it was in the palace, but there was nothing in the palace either, only a painting with a yellow-shirted woman on it.

Ye Qingmei naturally no longer in this world, where she is buried is not important, but Fan Xian occasionally think of a problem, is not the emperor is also a little afraid to face the strand of soul underground?

Fan Xian sat down by the river, lifted the front of his tunic to his knees, hitched it up very flat, and said earnestly, “I’ll think about something here, so don’t let anyone come to disturb me.”

“Yes, my lord.” Mu Feng’er and a few of the close-knit Qiyan team members simultaneously bowed their heads in response to the order, and with the surrounding escort force, dispersed deeper into the bamboo forest, until Fan Xian couldn’t see them, and it was unlikely that they would be able to see the river either.

Don’t let anyone come to disturb them, naturally including these subordinates. Mu Feng’er, this group of people, knew very well what Fan Xian had in mind, and were just a little puzzled by their lord’s mood at the moment. They retreated to a faraway place, vigilantly watching the movements of the surrounding roads, blocking out the sound of the wind, and silently guessing in their hearts.

That courtyard on the opposite side of the river was the residence of the Mistress of the Ye Family back then, this was something that all the old Kyoto people knew. And that Mistress Ye was Lord Little Fan’s own mother, this was something that the entire world already knew. The matter that Little Lord Fan chose to meditate here today, the thing he was thinking about, was naturally extremely tricky and important.

I don’t know how long I have been sitting here, the secluded forests and green bamboo and gray courtyard on both sides of this river, the still water and mossy stones and floating leaves in the river, and a whole range of landscapes have all been seen through to a joke, only then did Fan Xian feel a little tired of sitting here, and that square of stone under his hip suddenly seemed extraordinarily sharp and poked a little painfully.

He stood up, patted the dust behind him, frowned and shook his head, but didn’t leave right away, but took two more steps towards the riverbank, lowered himself down, scooped up a handful of slightly cool river water, and splashed it on his face, as if to make the burning heat on his face a little colder.

At this time, a handkerchief reached over from the side, seemingly wanting him to wipe the water droplets from his face.

Without the slightest surprise, Fan Xian took the handkerchief and wiped it carelessly on his face, then probed into the river water and wrung it twice, wringing it until it was slightly wet and cold, before smiling and handing it back, saying, “You’re the most afraid of the heat, ice your face.”

A plain white dress Fan Ruo Ruo smiled and took the dampened handkerchief from her elder brother’s hand, carefully wiped her ears and cheeks, it looked like she should have come in some haste, usually a face of frost, at this time, but by the cheeks of the blush coated clean.

“What brings you here?” Fan Xian turned back and marched towards the riverbank, naturally reaching out his hand, wanting to hold his sister’s hand in case she fell.

Unexpectedly, Fan Ruo Ruo did not see her elder brother’s outstretched hand and had already walked on. Fan Xian was slightly stunned and said with a smile, “It seems that Bitter Lotus didn’t hide anything back then, you’ve only been learning for a short while now, and your body is much better than before.”

Fan Ruo Ruo smiled and didn’t take the question, answering Fan Xian’s earlier remark, “Brother only came back last night, why did you run out again today? Someone in Kyoto was looking for you on an urgent matter, and since my sister-in-law was in the palace, the Vine family was so annoyed by that person that they had no choice but to find the medical center. I went to ask around and realized that you were out of the city. I was about to go to the Chen Garden, but I saw Mu Feng’er at the intersection and knew that you must be here, so I got off the car and came to look for you.”

Fan Xian had come to Chen Garden today, the people in the courtyard should not have known about it, but he was too lazy to bother with such trivial matters and asked, “What is it, looking for me so urgently?”

The brother and sister duo sat down while speaking, just as they did five years ago, facing the other side of the river from a distance.

“It’s not anything important, it’s just that I haven’t seen my brother for a long time and I miss you.” Fan Ruoruo said with a slight smile. In fact, since that person was bothering Miss Fan’s head, there must be something extremely important, it’s just that this ice-cold and smart girlie realized that today, her elder brother would even come to the Taiping Buyeon to meditate, so there must be something bigger in his heart, and she naturally didn’t want to bother him with all those official matters.

Fan Xian thought to himself that there really couldn’t be any major events in the officialdom of Qing today, so he couldn’t help but smile and shake his head, saying, “Since it’s not a major event, it’s good for you to sit with me, I’m just too tired to sit alone.”

This sitting was another half hour. Fan Xian had something on his mind, so he didn’t want to talk, and only felt that having a sister who trusted him completely sitting by his side could indeed stabilize his emotions a bit more. Fan Ruo Ruo didn’t have any other thoughts, she just thought in her heart, as long as she could sit quietly beside her brother, it would be good.

After a long time, the sun had already passed through the high tops of the bamboo forest, and slowly moved down in the west direction, and its light turned into countless dappled shadows, hitting the faces of the two siblings. Fan Xian’s eyes were shaken for just a moment by the patches of light, and he couldn’t help but rub his eyes and sigh.

Fan Ruo Ruo’s heart fluttered, hearing too much bitterness, resentment, helplessness, necessity and heaviness in that sigh. She bowed her head slightly, and after a long moment of thought, said, “If there’s something in your heart, it might be better to say it.”

Fan Xian was silent for a long time, then suddenly said, “My birth mother’s name is Ye Qingmei.”

Fan Ruo Ruo was slightly stunned and raised her eyes to look at him, thinking that in the whole world, she was probably one of the first few people to know this secret, so why did her elder brother have to repeat it again at this time. However, she knew that Fan Xian must have something to say afterward, so she just gave a soft hmmm and did not express her doubts.

“Back then, I brought you here to make a distant offering to the river, worshipping her for granting me this physical body so that I could live in this world for a time.” Fan Xian said quietly, “Today, I have come here to look at it from afar, but I am honoring her for what she did back then, worshipping the fact that she has left me, her son, with so many benefits, and brought some different possibilities, more choices, to the people of this world.”

Fan Ruoruo listened quietly from the sidelines.

“In my entire life, I have not seen her face, I have not heard her voice, but I have seen too many traces of what she left behind.” Fan Xian bowed his head in thought for a moment before continuing, “This time, when I went to Dong Yi City, I also saw a lot. So her image in my mind is getting clearer and clearer, and I’m getting more and more used to seeing her as my own mother.”

He added in his mind, though she seemed to be not much older than himself.

“If someone inflicted harm on her back then, how do you think I, as a human son, should go about it?” Fan Xian’s brow was furrowed to the extreme, his brow was gloomy.

Fan Ruo Ruo suddenly felt some tension in her heart, tightly clutching the wet handkerchief in her hand, and said in a trembling voice, “Didn’t those people …… die out? The Empress Dowager is also long gone now.”

“The Empress Dowager is naturally dying.” Fan Xian didn’t tell his sister that the Empress Dowager was actually dying at her own hands, and said with a slight mocking smile, “But there are still some damned people who didn’t die.”

Fan Ruo Ruo did not open her mouth to inquire, for she had a strong premonition that she would surely hear a name today that would make her heart skip a beat.

“I guessed long ago that His Majesty was my biological father.” Fan Xian said, “It’s just that during those first two years, I didn’t see him as my father at all, and not only him, it was also difficult to think of Ye Qingmei as my mother. This has nothing to do with the story back then, nor is it that I was born with a frustrated feeling of abandonment, it’s something that can’t be explained.”

He had brought his own soul with him when he came into this world.

“Yet relationships between people are always forged by time, it has nothing to do with blood, nothing to do with affinity.” Fan Xian lowered his head and said wearily, “Just as I have treated you as my sister since I was young, I will treat you as the closest person in this life. Time always changes many things, and after spending so much time with His Majesty, I can detect that he treats me, differently than he does his other sons, especially in these past few years, His Majesty the Emperor has changed too much.”

He suddenly laughed, smiling in a somewhat adorable way, “You say, if it was His Majesty who killed my mom back then, what should I do?”

Fan Ruo Ruo’s heart shook, her hands subconsciously exerted force, squeezing out the last few drops of river water from her handkerchief.