Chapter 53

Maybe sadness has a shelf life, otherwise why didn’t she feel pain when she saw him.

Su Orange retracted her indifferent line of sight crossing over him towards the front, her legs suddenly ran out of strength and stumbled a bit, her body followed and she leaned forward.

In the next second, Zhou Yuchen clutched her arm and lifted her up.

The temperature of his hand was still so hot, but it couldn’t warm her cold heart anymore, and she didn’t know when her heart started to go cold.

Is it the grandmother in the intensive care unit, Sun Xia sends over one picture after another, telling her several times to quit.

Or was it when she sent WeChat to Zhou Yuchen over and over again, but it was stone cold?

Or, at the funeral, watching her grandmother being put into that tiny space, when she subconsciously tried to grab something, she only grabbed air.

She forgot that he wasn’t there.

Or maybe the disappointment had saved up enough that the little bit of expectation in her heart was completely gone.

She calmly withdrew her hand, didn’t bother to look at him, and said in a faint voice, “Thank you.”

Raising her feet just to take two steps, she was once again grabbed by his wrist, his voice was a little mute, “Orange.”

Su Orange paused, her back straightened, her arms didn’t shake, her hands didn’t shake, adjusted her emotions and slowly turned around, “Something’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Zhou Yuchen’s brows were knitted, his expression was pained, “Grandma her?”

“Went peacefully,” Su Orange hmmmed, not knowing whether to say it to herself or to him, “Quite well.”

“And you?” Zhou Yuchen approached, looking askance at her with downcast eyes, eyes about to drip blood, “How are you?”

“I’m pretty good too.” Su Orange tilted her head up to look straight at him, those eyes that would shy away whenever she saw him were unusually calm tonight, “Is there anything else? Nothing I’m going back to the dormitory.”

“Yes,” Zhou Yuchen couldn’t stand her such a wave-less appearance, the force of his grip on her arm heavier by a few points, “What did you just say?”

“Hm? What?” Su Orange remembered afterward, “Oh, I said we broke up.”

Lightly, as if talking about whether or not the weather was good, without any ups and downs, she spoke the two words “break up”.

Zhou Yuchen stumbled a little, smiling a little far-fetched, “You are joking, right?”

“I never joke.” Su Orange looked straight at him, “I’m serious.”

“Serious about what?” Zhou Yuchen raised his volume and pulled her a little closer, so that he could kiss her if he lowered his head.

During this period of time, so many times he dreamed of kissing her, she shyly said no, but still took the initiative to kiss him back.

Because she was shy, she was always tongue-tied, saying no meant yes.

Zhou Yuchen thought, maybe this time too, not really wanting to break up with him, just wanting him to coax her, “Orange, I’m not breaking up.”

He lowered his stance and softened his voice, “Didn’t we say we’d be good for the rest of our lives.”

“Said that?” Su Orange hummed lightly, “Sorry, too much going on lately, I don’t remember.”

Her detachment was frightening, Zhou Yuchen had wanted to restrain himself from moving her, first telling her about what had happened in this put time, and then hugging her after she had subsided.

But he couldn’t help it, fear filled his heart, he was afraid that if he didn’t hug her again, he wouldn’t have the chance to hug her later.

He reached out and took her into his arms, rubbing his face against hers, touching her go forehead with his lips, murmuring words of intimacy, “I missed you.” Missed like crazy.

Missed her?

More than two months without any news, if this is what he called thinking, then this thinking is really different.

Su orange did not struggle, let him hold, but also to do the last goodbye, sophomore first saw, a glance of a million years, like so long, and finally ended up with a breakup.

Say not regret is false.

Her arm hanging at her side did not move a bit, more not like before back to embrace him, her eyes look askance at the unknown direction, where the light and shadow, someone in the intimacy.

Once upon a time, they had been like that, only, unfortunately, the sizzle had disappeared too quickly, and had slipped away before they had a chance to grab hold of it.

It is said that it is most difficult to hurt the bones, but in Su Orange’s eyes, the loss is even more difficult than hurting the bones.

Ridiculously, her life seemed to be a constant stream of losses, starting from her parents’ divorce, to her grandmother’s passing, to her breakup, she hadn’t kept a single one of them.

The lonely world briefly came alive and became lonely once again.

Sad?

Well, sad.

Zhou Yuchen didn’t wait for her response, the hand resting on her waist gradually probed into the hem of her shirt, wanting to touch her waist.

Su Orange retrieved her wandering thoughts and pressed down, looking up at him, “I just said, we broke up.”

She pushed Zhou Yuchen’s hand out bit by bit, stepped back, pulled away from the two of them, and said in a cold voice, “Don’t contact each other in the future.”

The man who had restrained himself all night finally couldn’t help himself, he grabbed her arm and lifted her up slightly, asking her, “What do you mean don’t contact each other anymore.”

“It’s just being ordinary friends again.” Su Orange stared back at him, not a hint of softening in her tone, “Maybe being strangers.”

“Strangers?” The tail of Zhou Yuchen’s eyes were red and scary, strangling Su Orange’s waist and asking, “Do you know what you’re saying? How can we be back to strangers.”

“How can we not.” Su Orange stalked her neck and said, “Aren’t you and those girls you dated before in this kind of relationship now? Or is it-”

She paused, “You are not in this kind of relationship.”

Zhou Yuchen was too shrewd, he heard something from the clues, “Did someone talk nonsense to you?”

“Who?” He pursued, “Who told you nonsense?”

“Empty holes don’t come without a reason.” Su Orange pushed his hand away, “Unless you really did something?”

“Was it Sun Xia?” No one dares to do this except Sun Xia, Zhou Yuchen strides forward, clasps her wrist, pulls her to an unoccupied place, pushes her hard so that she leans against a tree, his throat rolls, and he represses, “Do you believe Sun Xia’s words?”

“I don’t believe anyone’s, only what I see.”

“Then tell me, what did you see?”

Although it was just a glimpse, but those photos were still engraved in Su Orange’s mind, these days she pressed with all her might, told herself not to think about it don’t think about it, it was not easy to put it down, I didn’t expect to be defeated by his one sentence, the bottom of her eyes seeped with water vapor, but stubbornly didn’t let it flow down.

“I saw you in the hotel, the bed was very messy, the quilt fell on the floor, the corner of the bed and ……” she pursed her lips, took a deep breath, “and used things.”

“Saw you drinking with someone at the bar.” She sneered, “You have time to drink, but no time to return my WeChat.”

“Saw a shadow photo of you and a woman.” She closed her eyes and opened them again, “Beautifully photographed.”

“See ……,” Su Orange was a little unable to speak, “Do you really want me to tell everything?”

“Zhou Yuchen-” she took a deep breath, and then another deep breath, suppressing the sourness in her chest, “Well at least liked it, as to be so cruel to me.”

Zhou Yuchen cupped her face with trembling fingertips, explaining, “Orange, it’s not like that, I did stay at the hotel, but it was just me, there was no one else, much less a woman. That time at the bar was when I managed to sneak out, I was trying to call you, but my cell phone was given to me by them-”

“Zhou Yuchen, that’s enough.” Su Orange smiled a far-fetched smile, “If you had told me these words a month ago, I would have been very relieved, but not now.”

“Break up.” She said with her eyes closed.

“I’m not breaking up.” Zhou Yuchen seized her arm and pressed it hard, saying with a single word, “I’m not splitting.”

“That would be meaningless.” Su Orange snorted, “Haven’t you always been able to take what you can get, isn’t breaking up a very common thing for you.”

She went to break his fingers, “You look classless when you dwell on it so much.”

“Fuck classy.” Zhou Yuchen took her in his arms, “I told you before, I was playing around before, but not with you, I’m serious, I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

“You said it, you wouldn’t let go of my hand.”

“What are you now?”

“I regret it and don’t want it anymore.” Su Orange struggled, “Let go, don’t make me look down on you.”

Zhou Yuchen’s words nestled in his heart were just blocked, those explanations became excuses in an instant, but he still wanted to try, “You really don’t want to know how I’ve been living this time?”

“Don’t want to.” Su Orange fixedly said.

She straightened her back and slowly turned around, walking towards the dormitory building step by step.

Tears flowed down the corners of her eyes, she didn’t stop for a moment, much less look at the man behind her.

So, she didn’t know that his eyes were also full of water vapor.

Some people say Zhou Yuchen is cool, some say he is unruly, some say he is gangly and bad, and more people say he is a prodigal son who never treats his feelings as he pleases.

He in the world of feelings is a smooth passer-by, will not stay for who, not to mention who will not bend over, give up for him is a common thing, persistence is the sky.

Even he himself has said, feelings with him, dispensable.

He never thought there would be a day of capsizing, and never thought there would be anyone who could make him change, he lived recklessly, without dust.

Just did not expect, more certainty can not hold the heart, all the reckless in front of like worthless.

Unfortunately, he woke up too late.

Su orange back to the dormitory did not mention the matter of seeing Zhou Yuchen, and as usual, reading and studying, and then wash and sleep.

Yu Lele wanted to borrow her sanitary napkins, she pointed to the cabinet, “There is one inside, go get it yourself.”

Yu Lele took out the sanitary napkins at the same time she also took out the jar of orange candy, she asked, “Orange, can I eat it?”

Su Orange looked at the jar as her thoughts turned over, and finally nodded, “Well, you eat it.”

Lin Mai saw this and also wanted to eat, “Lele, give me two.”

Yu Lele also gave it to Lin Mai.

Zhang Huan also wanted it, and Yu Lele gave it to her as well.

After splitting them, there were only a few left, Yu Lele grinned, “Orange, I’m sorry, we’re all almost finished.”

Su Orange pulled the corner of her lips, “It’s fine, you guys eat.”

“Where did you buy this candy from ah, it doesn’t look quite the same as the ones on the market.” Lin Mai said, “And it’s quite sweet.”

Where did you buy it?

He gave it to him.

Su Orange’s eyes closed to adjust her emotions and then opened, “I forgot, if you like it you can eat the remaining ones too.”

“Really?”

“Uh, really.”

The last thing that landed in Su Orange’s hands were empty glass bottles and jars, nothing was left, just like her and him.

Since the old lady left, Su Orange did not dream of her once, this night, a rare old lady into the dream, in the dream the old lady is still so kind, she advised Su Orange, do not cling, try to put down, let go of the other side, but also let go of themselves.

Su orange snuggled in the old lady’s arms, with a crying voice said: “Well, I listen to grandma, I put down.”

In Su Orange’s eyes, Zhou Yuchen is not an obsessive person, maybe he does treat other things obsessively, but not his feelings, otherwise how would he change his girlfriend once a month.

She thought that he would quickly give up after talking it out that night, and then the two of them would never see each other again.

But she was wrong, he didn’t.

He always showed up where she could see him, sometimes just looking straight ahead.

She didn’t speak, and he didn’t force it.

There was always a shadow of him in her life.

Yu Lele was a little confused, “What is he doing, begging to get back together?”

Then reminded Su Orange, “You can’t be soft-hearted.”

Su orange hmmm, she looked weak, in fact, there is also a stubborn side of the bone, recognized things will stick to the end, like him is, give up on him is also.

“Will not be soft-hearted.” Su orange said to do, even when she saw him standing in the rain, she did not have a trace of movement.

Lin Mai tsked, “Zhou Yuchen has been standing in the rain for three hours, orange, you really don’t see him?”

“Don’t see.” Su Orange lowered her head to write her homework.

“The weather forecast says it’s going to rain for a long time, this will make you sick if you keep standing.” Lin Mai touched her, “Why don’t you go down and take a look.”

Su Orange still didn’t go down.

As for Zhou Yuchen, he was stupid and stood for another two hours until Zhang Yang and Zhao Chuan dragged him away in anger.

Later on, for a few days, Su Orange didn’t see Zhou Yuchen, Yu Lele learned from Zhang Yang that Zhou Yuchen was sick, pneumonia, quite serious.

Yu Lele told the news to Su Orange, “Will you go see him?”

“Not going.” Su Orange still had that cold look.

“Oh, I also heard that Zhou Yuchen went to the Sun family to make a scene.” Regarding Zhou Yuchen’s matters, Yu Lele heard it all from Zhang Yang’s mouth, some of it was her set of words, and some of it was Zhang Yang taking the initiative to tell, Zhou Yuchen going to Sun’s house to make a mess was what Zhang Yang took the initiative to tell.

Yu Lele didn’t even think carefully about Zhang Yang’s mind, after coming back, she told Su Orange about the matter, “The disturbance was fierce, he also warned Sun Xia’s parents that if they can’t teach their daughter, he doesn’t mind personally teaching her.”

“Anyway, ah, Sun Xia and Zhou Yuchen are not possible at all.”

Yu Lele paused, blinked, and changed her words, “What about you?”

“My what?”

“Is there any hope for you and him?”

“No.”

Su Orange closed the book, “Lele, I’m going abroad in August.”

Yu Lele was surprised, “You’re going abroad? Why didn’t you say so before?”

“It was only decided today.” Su Orange tugged at the corner of her lips, “Professor Hu gave the contact, don’t worry about the expenses, there are scholarships.”

“Is this why Professor Hu looked for you today?”

“Uh-huh.” Su Orange pursed her lips, “Don’t tell others about this, especially Zhang Yang.”

“Sooner or later, you will know.”

“Then talk about it later.”

“Are you afraid that Zhou Yuchen will stop you?”

Su Orange’s eyelashes trembled, “I just don’t want to cause trouble.”

Su Orange’s departure from the country was unknown to everyone except for their dormitory, and Professor Hu also helped to hide this.

Time seemed to be accelerated, from the end of June to the end of July, more than thirty days, as if blinking, and then blinking, to August.

Su Orange is going abroad in the middle of August, there are still ten days of preparation time, Lin Mai and the girls helped to prepare the luggage, a few people also discussed, the weekend when the video.

Gao Chang went to the balcony to dry his shoes, and inadvertently saw the long figure downstairs, and let out a yelp, “Orange, Zhou Yuchen is waiting downstairs again to come.”

“From June to August, Zhou Yuchen has been waiting for Su Orange, waiting in wind and rain, and several times his clothes have been drenched.

Zhang Yang even complained about this, “Brother Sam has never been like this for anyone, it’s just punishment enough.”

Yu Lele was originally quite angry with Zhou Yuchen, but when she saw how humble he was, she suddenly couldn’t be angry, “Orange, why don’t you go down and meet him, after all, after you leave the country, you’ll never see him again.”

Su Orange didn’t respond and didn’t move.

Zhang Huan also joined in the lobbying, “There are still a few days you will be going abroad, once gone for two years, after two years who knows what it will be like, you really do not regret it?”

Su Orange still can’t get over that hurdle of the old lady, although this has nothing to do with her or Zhou Yuchen, she often blames herself for why she didn’t go back on that May Day vacation.

Perhaps, if she went back, the result would be different.

She lost her family for the sake of love, probably this life has no way to really get over it.

This day she still did not go to see Zhou Yuchen.

The day before she left the country, there was a commotion coming from downstairs in the dormitory, and the hostel teacher was there calling, “Eh, that boy, stop, stop.”

“This is the girls’ dormitory, you can’t enter.”

“Quickly stand still.”

She ran slowly and didn’t catch up.

Su Orange was reading in the dormitory, Yu Lele was on the phone, and the others went out shopping, when suddenly, someone tapped hard on the dormitory door.

Yu Lele said into the receiver, “Wait a moment.”

She got up and went to open the door, saying as she did so, “Who is it, the door is tapped apart.”

Just after opening the door a crack, someone rushed in, nearly knocking her over, she patted her chest in shock, and when she saw who it was, she exclaimed, “Zhou Yuchen, what are you doing.”

“Where’s Su Orange?” Zhou Yuchen didn’t answer her question, but looked around for someone.

Yu Lele pointed to the position of the upper bunk, “There.”

Su Orange hears the commotion, removes her headphones and pokes out something, “What’s wrong with Lele?”

Zhou Yuchen heard the sound and walked forward in large strides, stepping on the ladder and getting onto the bed, using his body to hold her against the wall.

This scene came too suddenly, Su Orange Zheng froze, blinking, “What are you doing?”

Zhou Yuchen looked at her askance, the red blood in his eyes spreading out, and there at the end of his eyes, he didn’t know if it was really broken or what, it was red and creepy.

He propped his hands on either side of her body and slowly pressed closer, suppressing his voice as he asked, “You’re leaving the country?”

I didn’t expect that it was still known by him, Su Orange’s heart suddenly trembled, couldn’t tell if it was sour or what, she adjusted her emotions, “Uh-huh.”

“Who allowed this!” Zhou Yuchen was angry at her for the first time, gritting his teeth, “Who agreed to this!”

“This is my matter, I agree on it.” Su Orange brushed aside the relationship between the two, her tone still as cold as ever.

“What about me?” Zhou Yuchen clasped onto her wrist and clutched it hard, not caring if he clutched out red marks, “What about me? What does that make me?”

“We’ve already broken up.” Su Orange endured the discomfort to remind him, “There is no relationship between us.”

“You really want to break up with me?” The same words, he asked again.

“Yes.” Su Orange didn’t hesitate for a second, “Break up.”

“Why?” Zhou Yuchen’s expression was pained, “Just because of Sun Xia’s deceitful words?”

“Not all.” Su Orange said with red eyes, “Zhou Yuchen, my grandmother is gone.”

At first she only said it in a small voice, but later the volume was enlarged and she hissed, “My grandmother is gone! I originally wanted to go back to see her, but, but I couldn’t contact you, I was worried about you, I was afraid that you were in danger, I I I I told grandma that I couldn’t go back to see her, I didn’t even get to see grandma one last time.”

Su Orange’s tears flowed down, “She’s in the ICU, she’s got tubes all over her body, I call her, she can’t hear me, I cry, she can’t see me. I’m scared, scared to death.”

She pushed him hard, “What about you? And where were you at that time-”

“Haha.” Su Orange wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes, “Zhou Yuchen, we can’t go back to the past.”

She flipped out the chain that was placed under her pillow and handed it to him, “This is what you gave me, I’ll return it to you today.”

That day was the last time Su Orange saw Zhou Yuchen, and she nearly broke down emotionally, pouring out the bad feelings she had pressed in her heart for days.

Life will always happen unexpected things, just like Su Orange abroad, originally was the nail in the coffin who knows went wrong.

Professor Hu suddenly suffered a stroke and the school she had contacted couldn’t make the trip.

Yu Lele and the girls all feel sorry for Su Orange, Su Orange herself is fine, in fact, she does not have to go abroad, just that day Professor Hu said, she did not want to let him down just.

She pinched Yu Lele’s face, “This is also quite good, at least we don’t need to be separated.”

Yu Lele’s eyes suddenly lit up, “Right.”

Su Orange did not leave the country, but Zhou Yuchen left, left in quite a hurry, did not tell anyone, Zhang Yang or later realized, scolded him for being heartless, so important things are not told.

He also asked when he would be back.

Zhou Yuchen said faintly: “Not sure, may be two years, may be longer.”

Zhang Yang pursued, “Is it because of Su Orange?”

Zhou Yuchen end no sound, and then the phone hung up, and then call no one answered.

No one knew where Zhou Yuchen had gone, he was out of touch and had no contact with anyone.

Occasionally, Su Orange and their dormitory talk about him again, the name has changed from the school grass to “he”.

He how how.

Usually this time Su Orange will not answer, that name is like a taboo for her, can not be mentioned and can not be touched.

The days after the more uneventful, in addition to learning, Su orange is not interested in anything, the weekend Lin Mai and a few of them went to play, Su orange also did not go.

She was drawing a design to get, Professor Hu wanted it.

By the way, Professor Hu after half a year of treatment has fully recovered, that day to find Su Orange asked if she still want to go abroad, the third year abroad is not too late, he can arrange.

This favor is too heavy, Su Orange politely refused, saying that it is quite good to study in the north of Beijing.

It seems that the last time we met, we were still talking about how to go to graduate school, and then we met again and graduated. The day of Yu Lele’s birthday, we drank a little too much.

In the past few years, Su Orange’s drinking capacity has improved a lot, and she will not get drunk easily. In fact, this is not good, occasionally, Su Orange still want to get drunk.

Zhang Yang sang Yu Lele a song called “Love You for Ten Thousand Years”, which caused the crowd to laugh because he sang it too hard.

Su Orange’s cell phone rang, it was too noisy in the private room, so she got up and went outside to answer it, and just as she went out the door, she met a boy who had been chasing her recently.

Not from Beijing North University, but from the school next door.

That person confessed many times and was rejected, and today he used his drunkenness to babble up, “This look of yours will make me think that you’re pining for someone.”

Su orange leaned against the wall, her jaw slightly raised, light poured down, dyed brightly her eyes, reflecting that water vapor more and more condensed, she murmured, “Indeed there is a nostalgia.”

Words fell, she pushed away from the man, straight toward the front, passing the open window, by the wind stabbed eyes, eyes red.

Unsurprisingly, she remembered the line:

Sadness never has a shelf life.