Chapter 145: Xiaohua (Part 1)

Lin Xiaohua’s voice had changed. Before, her voice was clear and had a hint of charm, but now it was low and hoarse, with a hint of vicissitudes of life and an undeniable fatigue.

Is Lin Xiaohua slowly growing old at this moment? I began to feel sorry for this girl… but what else could I do?

“You should have guessed that Lin Furui and I are from the same village, and we were both born in that not-so-glorious village, the Village of Thieves…” Lin Xiaohua began to slowly tell a tangled story from the past. Perhaps because there wasn’t much time left, she spoke very concisely.

But I also got a clear picture of the tangled story from her narration.

It all started when Lin Furui was possessed by a spirit. Lin Jianguo once told me that after his son was possessed, he went to live in another family, and that family happened to be Lin Xiaohua’s family.

“Most of the people who stole the village were surnamed Lin, just like many ordinary villages, there is always a big surname in a village. I have no family relationship with Lin Furui, but he enjoyed the highest treatment in our family… because my parents were fervent believers of the god. All hopes were pinned on that god. Do you know why?

“Because I am their only daughter. I have been sick since I was a child, and I couldn’t walk when I was young. When I got older, it got worse. Most of the time I had to stay in bed and wait for someone to take care of me. My father loved my mother very much, and because of her health, she couldn’t have any more children. Who wouldn’t want their daughter to be healthy? That god who couldn’t be helped became their only hope, so they naturally became fervent believers.”

“Perhaps it was because of this, or perhaps because our family situation was simpler than other families, with no relatives, just me, my parents and three people. When God chose a place to ‘grow up,’ He chose our family. This was the beginning of the entanglement.”

From Lin Xiaohua’s narrative, I can imagine how high and aloof God was treated in their family.

But the truth is far more exaggerated than I imagined. The people in the village were wealthy, and their lives were certainly unimaginable in other villages in this land of China… Even in troubled times, they lived a stable and prosperous life. Not to mention other things, just in terms of clothing and food, they wore clothes that were not silk or satin, but were also exquisite, and they ate not only delicacies from the mountains and seas, but also large fish and meat.

But for the gods, how dare Lin Xiaohua’s parents let him live the same life as everyone else in the village? It was always much higher.

So, after the god came, Lin Xiaohua’s family life changed. The best food used to be for Lin Xiaohua, but after the god came, it was given to the god. Even many of the foods were new to Lin Xiaohua, and she had never seen or eaten them before.

When it came to making clothes, they were always made for the gods first, and they were the best.

“I was just a little girl who often lay in bed. Like other children, my world was simple, and I didn’t understand the difference between gods and non-gods or the difference in status. Unlike other children, my world was also very lonely. I had no friends, no siblings, and all I had was my mom and dad. Children’s thoughts are always simple. I didn’t understand anything, but I just felt that my mom and dad loved me more than they loved me. You know, the god at that time was just the image of a little child.” Lin Xiaohua’s voice was very lonely, as if she had returned to that time, when she was young and could only lie in bed.

I can imagine how sad she was at that time, but she dared not cry too much with her parents, and could only silently endure all the doubts.

Children with birth defects are either radical or sensitive and precocious. Obviously, Lin Xiaohua belongs to the latter. She was uneasy that her seemingly healthy brother had stolen her love, but compared to this uneasiness, the greater fear was that she would be abandoned by her parents.

“At that time, I never understood the love my parents gave me, and I had no idea that the reason they treated me so differently was because of me. Unfortunately, they passed away too early, and I realized it too late.” Lin Xiaohua’s voice revealed a hint of sadness and irreparable regret, but compared to Lin Furui, this woman was much more carefree. After this silence, she laughed lightly and said lightly, “However, there is always a cycle in the world. What I owe them will be repaid sooner or later. I’m not in a hurry. I just want to repay it.”

This woman… I don’t know what to say. Her state of mind is really worthy of my admiration in some ways.

But I have doubts. Why did Lin Xiaohua’s parents treat the gods so well, and why did they die so young? I couldn’t help but ask.

Lin Xiaohua, however, calmly played with the tips of her hair and said to me, “You always have to talk, you idiot. What’s the rush?”

I never turned to look at Lin Xiaohua, but I accidentally saw the tips of her hair in the corner of my eye, which were shocking gray… I didn’t feel anything else, the only feeling I had was pain. What could be more cruel than this? I watched this woman wither in front of me, but I was powerless.

Lin Furui was already quiet. He was holding Lin Jianguo. I didn’t know if he had gone or was still alive… The wind blew past their bodies, lifting up the ends of their hair, as if to tell the story of their lives and their grievances, and to send a farewell to the departed.

But Lin Xiaohua never looked at him. It was frightening to have a dead heart, even though she was still telling the story of him and her.

She didn’t cry or make a fuss, just a little girl who was quietly uneasy, a parent who was always pleasing, and a god who was always indifferent and aloof. They lived together under this roof until one day two months later, when things changed a little bit.

It was a small detail at the dinner table. It was a normal day, and there was still a special dish on the table, for the gods.

It was a rare dish in the Northwest, and because of the vagueness of her memory, Lin Xiaohua didn’t remember it, but she did remember the strong desire to eat it. But how could she dare to make a fuss? She was afraid of seeing her parents’ reproachful eyes and seeing the indifference of the god who was high above, completely ignoring her contempt.

However, that day, God turned his head, his eyes were gentle for the first time, and he looked at Lin Xiaohua, who was being fed in her mother’s arms, with a little curiosity. He said very softly, “Do you want to eat this?”

Lin Xiaohua remembered that sentence for a long time, because God had never spoken to her at all when He came to her house. He had looked at her with indifference and condescension.

She had no idea that this boy could look at her with such gentle eyes and speak to her so softly and gently.

“Maybe it was because I had been lonely for so long? Maybe it was because I had never seen anyone else treat me so gently, except for my parents? Or maybe it was because he had always been so aloof, and suddenly lowered his guard and asked me like that, and I was so flattered by his ‘cheapness’ that I just couldn’t forget it. Anyway… that glance, that question, I suddenly felt that he was so kind and good-looking, and I could never forget it.” When Lin Xiaohua talked about this time, her voice was full of a smile, a tiny bit of beauty that had been planted in her heart since she was a little girl.

Faced with such a gentle inquiry, Lin Xiaohua’s world was like a ray of sunshine shining in, and it gave her courage. She was so stunned that she just said “hmm” and completely forgot what she had told herself: to be sensible, to be more obedient, and not to argue with her little brother.

Lin Xiaohua’s “uh” made Lin Xiaohua’s mother panic. She subconsciously slapped Lin Xiaohua, not hard, but anxious. She kept saying, “How can you be so inconsiderate?” while apologizing to the gods with a smile.

Was it a smile of apology? Lin Xiaohua was only guessing, but she was really scared. Looking at her father’s reproachful eyes, she felt that she would be abandoned the next second.

But when her mother raised her hand again, she was caught by God. He simply said, “Don’t hit her, she’s very good.” Then he let go of Lin Xiaohua’s mother’s hand.

Then he reached out and picked up several chopsticks from the dish that Lin Xiaohua wanted to eat, and then smiled gently at her and said, “Let’s eat together.”

“This is a scene I will never forget in my life, and it was also the first time I met Lin Furui. As you may have guessed, for two months, all I saw was God, because when Lin Furui was sober, he always went back to his own home. I met him again two months later. I still remember the feeling at that time. In the midst of despair, a pair of hands pulled you out and gently fulfilled your small wish. At that moment, he was God, and God was never God.” Lin Xiaohua’s voice had a deeper smile. If I could look at her at this moment, her eyes would be open.

Wouldn’t that be an expression of unbreakable affection? But the sad thing is that he was so good in her memories, but he was no longer in reality. What kind of pain is that?

The wind blew, and Lin Furui and Lin Jianguo were cuddled up together. Was that the last image of him in Lin Xiaohua’s eyes?